IRC-Galleria

Nyt on maanantai, humalaisen huhtikuun 7. päivä.


Pelkoguru mutisee:
"Niin makaa kuin sattuu sammumaan."

idiootteja!!!!!!!!!!!lupaa kaikkee mut mikää ei pidä!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sinä kysyit:
Onko jenny kiva?

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Oraakkeli vastasi:
Pikkulinnut kertoivat että on.

Jos luet tätä, jos silmäsi liikkuvat juuri tällä hetkellä näiden sanojen yli,
ole kiltti ja kirjoita kommentti, jossa on muisto sinusta ja minusta,
vaikka emme edes puhuisi usein. Se voi olla ihan mitä tahansa haluat
- hyvää tai huonoa. Kun olet tehnyt tämän, laita tämä omaan päiväkirjaasi
ja ylläty (tai kauhistu) siitä, mitä ihmiset muistavatkaan sinusta...

Et elä ihan kaikkein terveellisimmällä mahdollisella tavalla, mutta et toisaalta kuulu kaikkein pahimpaan riskiryhmäänkään. Vielä kun malttaisit luopua joistakin paheista! Tupakoitko? Tupakka tappaa. Juotko itsesi toistuvasti humalaan? Vaarannat terveytesi. Ajatko ylinopeutta? Raskas kaasujalka kostautuu - jos ei kuljettajalle itselleen niin jollekulle toiselle, ennemmin tai myöhemmin.

Kaunan kantaminen kalvaa ja vie pikkuhiljaa elämänilon ja terveyden. Ylipaino ja jatkuva stressi altistavat lukuisille sairauksille. Keho tarvitsee myös riittävästi unta pysyäkseen voimissaan. Tunnistitko omat heikot kohtasi? Pienilläkin muutoksilla saatat jatkaa elämääsi vuosilla.

Olet 70% kova jätkä.

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Miksi miehen peniksessä on reikä?
-Täytyyhän aivojenkin saada happea.

Miksi miehet eivät kokkaa?
-Siksi, ettei vielä ole keksitty pihviä, jonka voisi valmistaa leivänpaahtimessa.

Miksi miehet kuluttavat niin paljon kaloreita naidessaan?
-Koska panon jälkeen he juoksevat ympäri kaupunkia kehumassa siitä kavereilleen.

Miksi miehet kuorsaavat selällään nukkuessaan?
-Kivekset tukkivat alapään ilmanottoaukon.

Miksi miehet masturboivat?
-Saa harrastaa seksiä rakkaimpansa kanssa.

Miksi miehet nousevat keskellä yötä sängystä?
-25 % mennäkseen jääkaapille, 25 % mennäkseen vessaan ja 50 % mennäkseen kotiin.

Miksi miehet pitävät kalastuksesta?
- Koska silloin heillä on mahdollisuus kerran elämässään kuulla naisen suusta sanat: vau miten iso!

Miksi miehillä on isommat aivot kuin koirilla?
-Jotteivat ne koko ajan nylkyttäisi naisten sääriä cocktailkutsuilla.

Miksi mies luotiin ennen naista?
-Tarvitaan yksi raakavedos ennen lopullista versiota.

Miksi mies muuttuu älykkäämmäksi rakastelun ajaksi?
- Se on kytkettynä neroon.

Miksi mies nukahtaa heti seksin jälkeen?
-Että nainen voi runkata rauhassa homman loppuun.

Miksi miesten tieteelle lahjoittamia aivoja pidetään parempina kuin naisten?
-Koska miesten aivoja ei ole koskaan käytetty.

Miksi nainen ei räpäytä silmiään esileikin aikana?
-Hän ei ehdi.

Miksi tarvitaan miljoona siittiötä yhden munasolun hedelmöittämiseen?
-Miesten tapaan siittiötkään eivät pysähdy kysymään ajo-ohjeita.

Mikä on miehen esileikki?
-Puoli tuntia vonkaamista.

Mikä on miehen käsitys raskaasta työstä?
-Rintaliivien tuplahakasten aukaiseminen.

Mikä on miesten yleisin kolmiottelu?
-Yöjuoksu, huulenheitto ja syrjähyppy.

Mikä on paras tapa pitää mies tyytyväisenä makuuhuoneessa?
-Tuoda sinne televisio.

Mikä on tosimiehen kondomi?
-Kumisaapas.

Millainen on maailman nopein mies?
-Sellainen, joka nukahtaa ennen kuin tulee.

Millainen on mies, joka ei jätä ketään kylmäksi?
-Hän on todennäköisesti töissä krematoriossa.

Mistä tiedät, että mies on saanut orgasmin?
-Kuulet hänen kuorsaavan.

Mistä tiedät, että saippuaoopperat ovat kuvitteellisia?
-Oikeassa elämässä miehet eivät ole helliä sängyn ulkopuolella.

Mitkä ovat kolme tapaa millä nainen saa tehtyä miehen onnelliseksi?
- Tapa 1: Antaa pillua.
- Tapa 2: Antaa pillua.
- Tapa 3: Antaa pillua.

Mitä eroa on tyhmällä ja älykkäällä miehellä?
-Ei mitään. Molemmat luulevat tietävänsä kaiken.

Mitä se on, kun mies riisuu naisen housut?
-Esileikkiä.

Mitä yhteistä on miehellä ja hiirellä?
-Molemmat löytävät reiän pimeässä.

Mitä yhteistä on miehillä ja golfpalloilla?
- Menevät reiältä reiälle.

Mitä yhteistä on miehillä ja mikroaaltouuneilla?
-Kolmekymmentä sekuntia ja valmista on.

Miehen elämän ensimmäinen kokemus on tulla ulos naisen vartalosta.
Lopun elämäänsä hän käyttääkin sitten päästäkseen takaisin sisään

joo,jos ois vähä aikaa selvinpäin:D on tullu otettuu jos yhtenä viikonloppuna ja toisena...
nyt vähä taukoo:S samoin NELLI Ja NINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D "Te OoTtE hEiKoIlLa HaNgIlLa":D