IRC-Galleria

Miksi miehen peniksessä on reikä?
-Täytyyhän aivojen saada ilmaa.

Miksi miehet eivät kokkaa?
-Siksi, ettei vielä ole keksitty pihviä, jonka voisi valmistaa leivänpaahtimessa.

Miksi miehet kuluttavat niin paljon kaloreita naidessaan?
-Koska panon jälkeen he juoksevat ympäri kaupunkia kehumassa siitä kavereilleen.

Miksi miehet masturboivat?
-Saa harrastaa seksiä rakkaimpansa kanssa.

Miksi miehet nousevat keskellä yötä sängystä?
-25 % mennäkseen jääkaapille, 25 % mennäkseen vessaan ja 50 % mennäkseen kotiin.

Miksi miehet pitävät kalastuksesta?
- Koska silloin heillä on mahdollisuus kerran elämässään kuulla naisen suusta sanat: vau miten iso!

Miksi mies luotiin ennen naista?
-Tarvitaan yksi raakavedos ennen lopullista versiota.

Miksi miesten tieteelle lahjoittamia aivoja pidetään parempina kuin naisten?
-Koska miesten aivoja ei ole koskaan käytetty.

Miksi nainen ei räpäytä silmiään esileikin aikana?
-Hän ei ehdi.

Miksi tarvitaan miljoona siittiötä yhden munasolun hedelmöittämiseen?
-Miesten tapaan siittiötkään eivät pysähdy kysymään ajo-ohjeita.

Mikä on miehen käsitys raskaasta työstä?
-Rintaliivien tuplahakasten aukaiseminen.

Mikä on paras tapa pitää mies tyytyväisenä makuuhuoneessa?
-Tuoda sinne televisio.

Millainen on maailman nopein mies?
-Sellainen, joka nukahtaa ennen kuin tulee.

Millainen on mies, joka ei jätä ketään kylmäksi?
-Hän on todennäköisesti töissä krematoriosa.

Mitä eroa on tyhmällä ja älykkäällä miehellä?
-Ei mitään. Molemmat luulevat tietävänsä kaiken.

Mitä yhteistä on miehillä ja mikroaaltouuneilla?
-Kolmekymmentä sekuntia ja valmista on.


Miehen elämän ensimmäinen kokemus on tulla ulos naisen vartalosta.
Lopun elämäänsä hän käyttääkin sitten päästäkseen takaisin sisään.

Viikonloppu. :D Parasta mitä tällä viikolla on :) Helevetin pitkä työviikko takana mut onneks pääsee vähän rentoutumaan :) Ei tarvii jalkoja katkoo ja kyllähän se sit tilipäivänä hymyilyttää :) xD
Ja viime lauantaista on kuunneltu vittuiluja ja tarinoita et miten ilta on menny :D Kuulema humalassa ollaan oltu ja silleen :) xD

Eilen sit vähän juhlittiin kakskymppisiä :) Eli ei oikein muistikuvia koko illasta :) Liekkö johtu siitä edistä mitä join illan mittaan ihan sopivaan tahtiin x)
Aamulla heräsin sohvalta, niskat ihan jumissa ja puhelin täynnä outoja numeroita :)
Nyt voi sit hyvällä omalla tunnolla alottaa sen tipattoman.

Kun luet tämän viestin, vietä muutaman minuutin hiljaisuus heille, ketkä menehtyivät Jokelan ampumakohtauksessa. Kun olet viettänyt hiljaisuutta, kopioi tämä viesti ja lisää se omaan päiväkirjaasi. Menehtyneet ansaitsevat hiljaisuuden.

Nina nousi elämään maailmaan eräänä kuumana yönä. Melkein heti näki että hänestä tuli ihminen. Perhe oli suurituloinen ja he söivät paljon. Koulussa hän kiusasi kaikkia, siellä häntä kiusattiin pitkistä kynsistä.

Jo opiskeluaikoina häntä alkoi kiinnostamaan mangustit, niinpä mielipuuhaksi tuli kalat.

Nina kehittyi kymmenennelläkymmenellä varsin iloiseksi. Päähänsä hän sai tummanruskeat hiukset, sekä ruudulliset silmät.
Ilkeistä puheista johdatellen hän oli todella kikattelevainen. Lempiruokaansa styroxpuuroa hän sai työskennellen vankilakundina.

Nina tupakoi ja käyttää nuuskaa perjantaisin. Alkoholia hän juo urheilutapahtumassa.

Hän koppasi itselleen puolison jonka kanssa ei kuitenkaan mennyt naimisiin.

Sen pituinen se.


http://koti.mbnet.fi/pikpak/ig/index.htm

Maanantai aamuna huomasin et meidän juniori lenni oli vaihtanu sukupuolta :D xD Pikkanen on ollu mulla kuukauden ja mulle sanottiin, kun se tuli et se on poika, joten aattelin et tää meidän kissa "asiantuntija" Kankkunen ei erehdy. Luulin et Tiko sai veljen, mut se saikin näköjään tyttöystävän. :D Noh, ei ku sit vaan uutta nimee keksimään ja tänään ristin sen viiviksi :D

Olet vanhoillinen känisevä kranttu, joka pelkää riskejä. Et tee mitään, olet siis laiska. Yksikään kaurisihminen ei ole koskaan tehnyt mitään merkittävää tässä eikä muissa maailmoissa. Kauriiden ei pitäisi pysyä kauaa paikoillaan, koska ne karkottavat ominaishajullaan muut pois. Kauris yrittää mielellään pujotella muiden liiveihin ja hakea muiden kautta menestystä. Mikäli Kauris yrittää selviytyä omin avuin eikä tietenkään tässä menesty, hän alkaa syyttää muita uransa torpedoimisesta. Kauriilla on ikävä tapa elää aivan helvetin vanhoiksi.

Onnenkapine: Kansaneläke
Onnennumero: Kansaneläkkeen perusosa 2625 mk/kk
Onnenväri: Kelan kuoren väri
Motto: "Oi oi, voi voi, pakko tässä on vielä yrittää oi oi..."
Auto: Lada 1200L

Jos tunnet tän nimisistä ihmisistä yli puolet olet todella sosiaalinen ihminen. Jos tunnet yli 150, niin luultavamin kärsit pahasta ADHD:stä.
Ja lisäpisteitä saat, jos lisäät nimen, jota ei ole listassa, mutta tunnet sen nimisen tyypin.
Haasta viisi kaveriasi tekemään tämän.

[1] Aija
[2]Amanda
[3] Anna
[4] Anne
[5] Anneli
[6] Anni
[7] Annika
[8] Anniina
[9] Anja
[10] Anssi
[11] Antti
[12] Arto
[13] Aaro
[14] Anu
[ ] Anita
[ ] Aino
[15] Arttu
[16] Asko
[17] Asta
[18] Atte
[ ]Aura
[19]Aki
[20] Ari
[ ] Aili

[ ] Birgitta

[ ] Carmen

[ ] Daniel

[21] Erja
[ ] Eret
[ ] Eija
[22] Eila
[ ] Ella
[23] Elli
[ ] Elizabeth
[24] Emmi
[25] Emilia
[ ] Enni
[26] Elisa
[27] Elina
[28] Esa
[29] Erkki
[ ] Essi
[30] Eveliina
[ ] Evita

[31] Hanna
[32] Hanne
[ ] Hanni
[ ] Henni
[33] Harri
[34] Heidi
[35] Heikki
[36] Henri
[37] Helena
[38] Heli
[39] Helmi
[40] Helga
[ ] Henrik
[ ] Heimo
[41] Hannu
[ ] Hemmo
[ ] Heta

[42] Iida
[43] Iines
[44] Ismo
[45] Iiro
[46] Ida
[ ] Ira
[47] Ilkka

[48] Jaakko
[49] Jaana
[50] Janne
[51] Jani
[52] Jari
[53] Jenna
[54] Jenni
[ ] Janette
[55] Janita
[56] Janika
[ ] Janina
[57] Janna
[58] Jere
[ ] Jerry
[ ] Jermu
[59] Jesse
[60] Johanna
[61] Joonas
[62] Joni
[63] Jonne
[64] Jonna
[65] Juuso
[66] Jukka
[67] Juha
[68] Juho
[ ] Jutta

[ ] Kaisla
[69] Kaisa
[70] Kalevi
[ ] Karita
[71] Kari
[72] Kati
[73] Katri
[74] Katja
[ ] Kauko
[75] Karoliina
[76] Keijo
[ ] Kiia
[77] Kimmo
[ ] Kimi
[78] Krista
[79] Kirsti
[ ]Kira
[80]Kaija
[81]Kaisu
[82]Kirsi

[83] Laura
[84] Lauri
[ ] Lasse
[85] Lahja
[86] Lea
[ ] Leea
[87] Leena
[88] Leila
[89] Lotta
[90] Liisa
[91] Linda

[92] Markku
[93] Markus
[94] Marko
[ ] Marianna
[95] Marianne
[96] Maria
[97] Maija
[98] Mikko
[99] Miika
[ ] Miikka
[100] Matti
[101] Meri
[102] Merita
[ ] Mia
[103] Miia
[104] Minna
[105] Mika
[106] Mikael
[107] Mira
[108] Milla
[ ] Meeri
[ ] Maarit

[ ] Niki
[109] Niko
[110] Ninni
[111] Niina
[ ] Niti
[112] Nina
[113] Noora
[114] Nuutti
[115] Niilo
[ ] Nella
[ ] Neea

[ ] Olga
[116] Outi
[ ] Oskari
[117] Olli
[ ] onni

[118] Paula
[ ] Pauli
[119] Petri
[120] Pete
[121] Pia
[122] Piia
[ ] Piija
[123]Pauliina
[ ] Pilvi
[124] Pirjo
[125] Päivi
[126] Pekka
[127] Pasi

[128] Rami
[129] Riikka
[ ] Riku
[130] Riina
[ ] Rina
[131] Risto
[132] Ritva
[ ] Roope
[133] Roosa

[134] Saara
[135] Salla
[ ] Sofia
[ ] Sara
[136] Sanna
[137] Sari
[138] Sami
[ ] Sampo
[139] Samuli
[ ] Santeri
[140] Satu
[ ] Selja
[141] Sini
[142] Sinikka
[ ] Suoma
[143] Suvi
[ ] Susanna
[144] Svetlana

[ ] Taina
[ ] Taila
[ ] Taija
[145] Tanja
[ ] Tapani
[146] Taru
[147] Tatu
[148] Terhi
[149] Teemu
[150] Tiina
[151] Tiia
[152] Timo
[ ] Timppa
[153] Tomi
[154] Tommi
[155] Toni
[ ] Topi
[ ] Tuomo
[156] Tuomas
[157] Tuukka
[158]Tero
[ ] Timy
[ ] Tilda

[ ] Uki
[ ] Ugri
[ ] Ulla
[ ] Urho
[ ] Uolevi

[ ] Vappu
[ ] Valtteri
[159] Veli-pekka
[160] Vesa
[ ] Venla
[ ] Viivi
[ ] Vili
[161] Ville
[ ] Virpi
[ ] Vuokko

[x] = kyllä [ ] = en

Oletko ikinä

[x]Suudellut miestä
[ ]Suudellut naista
[x]Käynyt huussissa
[x]Harjannut kissaa
[x]Ollut jälki-istunnossa
[x]Lyönyt kaveria
[ ]Halannut naapuria
[x]Juonut samppanjaa
[ ]Heittänyt televisiota ikkunasta
[ ]Yöpynyt hotellissa
[ ]Käynyt Amerikassa
[x]Puhdistanut wc-pönttöä
[ ]Käynyt Puuhamaassa
[x]Polskutellut Serenassa
[x]Valehdellut äidilleni
[ ]Ollut musiikkivideossa (lasketaanko itse tehdyt? xD )
[ ]Tanssinut napatanssia
[x]Varastanut
[x]Kokeillut isäsi pitkiä kalsareita (Oon omistanukki)
[x]Valvonut koko yötä
[ ]Rikkonut ikkunaa
[x]Sanonut "rakastan sinua"
[x]Ollut rippileirillä
[ ]Nukkunut villasukat jalassa
[x]Ollut päivän syömättä mitään
[ ]Ajanut traktorilla
[x]Tilannut taksia
[ ]Yrittänyt iskeä itseäsi yli 7 vuotta vanhempaa ihmistä
[ ]Ajanut viiksiä
[x]Pureskellut kynsiä
[x]Soittanut pilapuhelua
[]Ollut Ankkarockissa
[x]Rikkonut lupaustasi
[ ]Ollut moottoripyörän kyydissä
[x]Nukkunut samassa sängyssä samaa sukupuolta olevan henkilön kanssa
[ ]Soittanut seksilinjalle
[x]Haukkunut hoppareita
[x]Soittanut bassoa
[x]Kuullut kunnasta nimeltä Vesanto
[x]Uinut vaatteet päällä
[ ]Kuunnellut klassista musiikkia
[x]Ajanut pyörällä laiturilta järveen
[x]Röyhtäissyt ruokapöydässä
[x]Koskenut sähkölankaan eli paimenpoikaan
[ ]Nielaissut jääpalaa
[x]Tippunut ponin selästä
[x]Haukkunut hevareita
[x]Ollut vaahtobileissä
[x]Lähettänyt viestiä mtv3 chattiin (pakko tunnustaa)
[x]Soittanut väärään numeroon
[x]Oksentanut ruusupuskaan
[ ]Vilautellut julkisilla paikoilla
[x]Halannut julkkista
[x]Itkenyt ilman mitään syytä
[x]Ollut järjestämässä discoa
[ ]Siivonnut lattialta oksennusta
[x]Kävellyt yli 10cm koroilla
[x] Karannut kotoa
[ ]Tilannut Mix-lehteä
[x]Saanut 4 kokeesta
[ ]Pelannut kännykällä kirkossa
[x]Pelännyt hämähäkkejä
[ ]Ihaillut gootteja
[x]Hävennyt kilojani
[x]Ollut puolukassa
[x]Rakastunut
[x]Pitänyt stringejä
[x]Nolannut itsesi ihastuksesi edessä
[x]Laulanut kun olet ollut kävelyllä ja kuvitellut ettei kukaan kuule...
[ ]Hypännyt 10 metristä pää edellä
[x]Liftannut
[x]Kerännyt mansikoita
[ ]Ajanut mopolla päin seinää
[x]Käynyt navetassa
[ ]Esittänyt Güntheria
[ ]Juonut pepsiä ja maitoa sekaisin
[ ]Ollut yksin lentokoneessa

[x]Eksynyt kaupungille
[x]Laulanut mikrofoniin
[ ]Laittanut metalliesinettä mikroon tai muuta mitä sinne ei saisi laittaa
[x]Astunut lehmän paskaan
[x]Nielaissut purukumia
[x]Laittanut kondomia paikoilleen
[ ]ollut/vieraillut vankilassa
[x]Itkenyt itseäsi uneen
[x]Ajatellut itsemurhaa
[x]Tykännyt The Rasmuksesta
[ ]Täyttänyt 21 vuotta
[ ]Käynyt psykiatrilla
[x]Seurustellut yli 23 vuotiaan kanssa
[x]Seurustellut
[ ]Ollut alipainoinen
[ ]Käyttänyt narubikineitä
[ ]Laihduttanut
[x]Keräillyt kaljapullon korkkeja
[ ]Juonut hylamaitoa
[x]Ollut krapulassa
[x]Fanittanut RAW:ta
[x]Ostanut e-pillereitä
[x]Hengittänyt heliumia
[x]Käyttänyt ripsentaivutinta
[x]Koskettanut käärmettä
[ ]Juonut venäläistä valkoviiniä
[x]Ollut tuhkarokossa
[x]Hävennyt tyttö/poikaystävääsi
[x]uinut avannossa
[x]tehnyt runoa
[x]ollut isosena jollain leirillä
[ ]käyttänyt minihametta
[x]jättänyt kokonaan lukematta kokeisiin
[x]tuntenut itseni yksinäiseksi
[x] tehnyt kurkkunaamiota kasvoillesi
[ ]ollut katsomassa oopperaa
[x]harrastanut näyttelemistä
[x]lukenut Mauri Kunnaksen kirjoja
[x]neulonut lapasia
[ ]katsonut Stand by me-leffaa
[x]eksynyt
[ ]keksinyt aprillipäivänä pilaa jonka joku uskoi
[x]järjestänyt yllätysjuhlia jollekin
[ ]syönyt pizzaa aamupalaksi
[ ]saanut paniikkikohtauksen
[ ]ollut ambulanssin kyydissä
[x]ollut poliisiautossa
[x]omistanut lemmikkieläintä
[x]laulanut sooloa jossain tilaisuudessa
[ ]soittanut/laulanut bändissä
[x]ajanut autoa
[x]ajanut mopoa
[ ]nukahtanut koulussa tunnille
[x]saanut aivotärähdystä
[x]lukenut salaa toisen päiväkirjaa
[ ]ollut tietokoneella yli 5 tuntia putkeen
[ ]ollut yli kuukautta pois kotoa
[x]ollut kesätöissä
[x]luntannut kokeessa
[x]saanut ampiaisenpistoa
[x]saanut murtumaa
[ ]antanut rahaa katusoittajalle
[x]ensin inhonnut jotain leffaa/tv-sarjaa ja sitten alkanutkin tykkäämään siitä
[x] käynyt ruotsissa
[x]irkannut (ja EI "www.irc-galleria.net";;;;;;;;;; VAAN www.google.com->Download mIRC yms)
[x]pelannut twisteriä
[x]katsonut Kauniita ja rohkeita kokonaisen jakson verran
[x]hukannut kirjastonkirjan
[x]kulkenut alasti kotona
[ ]ollut galleriassa päivän kuvana
[x]opetellut elvyttämistä
[x]Pelannut (mini)golfia
[x]ollut sairaalassa yötä
[x]vuokrannut asunnon
[ ]ollut lapissa
[ ] esiintynyt oikeassa teatterissa
[x]käyttänyt heijastinta
[x] leikkinyt pikkuautoilla
[ ]syönyt viimeisen tunnin sisällä
[x] valvonut yli 48 tuntia putkeen
[x] ollut onkimassa
[ ] kuvitellut olevani kala
[ ] palauttanut kokeen tyhjänä
[ ] ollut nälkäpäivä-kerääjänä
[x]pessyt hampaani joka ilta
[ ] saanut kuhmun viimeisen vuoden aikana
[x] saanut mustelman viimeisen vuoden aikana
[x] käynyt lääkärissä viimeisen vuoden aikana
[ ] saanut silmätulehduksen viimeisen vuoden aikana
[ ] käynyt kampaajalla/parturissa viimeisen vuoden aikana
[x] rakastunut viimeisen vuoden aikana

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