You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Hey, so apparently everything causes cancer now. Air is obviously bad for you. It's a fact: everyone who's ever breathed it has eventually died. This stuff should be banned.
You: you're right!! You opened my eyes!! :oo
Stranger: I tend to have that effect on people.
Stranger: Life: a sexually-transmitted, terminal disease.
Stranger: On a long enough timescale, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
You: oh my...... what should i do, oh great one??
Stranger: Nothing we can do. There's no hope. NONE.
Stranger: We're doomed, doomed I tell ya!
You: NOOOOOO!!..
You: that's TOO gruel ;__;
You: cruel*
Stranger: But we can try spreading the word about the dangers of air, at least to warn others before it's too late.
Stranger: I've heard it's worse than water.
You: yes! that's what we should do!
You: oh my! i didn't know!!!
Stranger: Well, now you know. And knowing is half the battle.
You: i thought that water was the worst!!
Stranger: You were clearly misinformed.
Stranger: Brainwashed by school, parents, the government, and the media.
Stranger: Yes, they're all out to get you.
Stranger: RUN
Stranger: Run while you still can.
You: NOO!!
You: I HAVE TO RUN TO THE HILLS!!
Stranger: Yes, that's the only way.
You: they can't find me there....
Stranger: I wish you good luck and gospeed.
Stranger: *godspeed
Stranger: Farewell.
You: THANK YOU YODA!!
You: <3
Stranger: Wise one you are.
