IRC-Galleria

Kaakaota ja vaahtokarkkei
Ipanaki tykkää ja Ellun jenkkiksetkin tykkää :D

Miksi miehen peniksessä on reikä?
-Täytyyhän aivojen saada ilmaa.

Miksi miehet eivät kokkaa?
-Siksi, ettei vielä ole keksitty pihviä, jonka voisi valmistaa leivänpaahtimessa.

Miksi miehet kuluttavat niin paljon kaloreita naidessaan?
-Koska panon jälkeen he juoksevat ympäri kaupunkia kehumassa siitä kavereilleen.

Miksi miehet kuorsaavat selällään nukkuessaan?
-Kivekset tukkivat alapään ilmanottoaukon.

Miksi miehet masturboivat?
-Saa harrastaa seksiä rakkaimpansa kanssa.

Miksi miehet nousevat keskellä yötä sängystä?
-25 % mennäkseen jääkaapille, 25 % mennäkseen vessaan ja 50 % mennäkseen kotiin.

Miksi miehet pitävät kalastuksesta?
- Koska silloin heillä on mahdollisuus kerran elämässään kuulla naisen suusta sanat: vau miten iso!

Miksi miehillä on isommat aivot kuin koirilla?
-Jotteivat ne koko ajan nylkyttäisi naisten sääriä cocktailkutsuilla.

Miksi mies luotiin ennen naista?
-Tarvitaan yksi raakavedos ennen lopullista versiota.

Miksi mies muuttuu älykkäämmäksi rakastelun ajaksi?
- Se on kytkettynä neroon.

Miksi mies nukahtaa heti seksin jälkeen?
-Että nainen voi runkata rauhassa homman loppuun.

Miksi nainen ei räpäytä silmiään esileikin aikana?
-Hän ei ehdi.

Miksi tarvitaan miljoona siittiötä yhden munasolun hedelmöittämiseen?
-Miesten tapaan siittiötkään eivät pysähdy kysymään ajo- ohjeita.

Mikä on miehen esileikki?
-Puoli tuntia vonkaamista.

Mikä on miehen käsitys raskaasta työstä?
-Rintaliivien tuplahakasten aukaiseminen.

Mikä on miesten yleisin kolmiottelu?
-Yöjuoksu, huulenheitto ja syrjähyppy.

Mikä on paras tapa pitää mies tyytyväisenä makuuhuoneessa?
-Tuoda sinne televisio.

Mikä on tosimiehen kondomi?
-kumisaapas

Millainen on maailman nopein mies?
-Sellainen, joka nukahtaa ennen kuin tulee.

Mistä tiedät, että mies on saanut orgasmin?
-Kuulet hänen kuorsaavan.

Mistä tiedät, että saippuaoopperat ovat kuvitteellisia?
-Oikeassa elämässä miehet eivät ole helliä sängyn ulkopuolella.

Mitkä ovat kolme tapaa millä nainen saa tehtyä miehen onnelliseksi?
- Tapa 1: Antaa pillua.
- Tapa 2: Antaa pillua.
- Tapa 3: Antaa pillua.

Mitä eroa on tyhmällä ja älykkäällä miehellä?
-Ei mitään. Molemmat luulevat tietävänsä kaiken.

Mitä yhteistä on miehellä ja hiirellä?
-Molemmat löytävät reiän pimeässä.

Mitä yhteistä on miehillä ja golfpalloilla?
-Menevät reiältä reiälle.

Mitä yhteistä on miehillä ja mikroaaltouuneilla?
-Kolmekymmentä sekuntia ja valmista on.

Miehen elämän ensimmäinen kokemus on tulla ulos naisen vartalosta.
Lopun elämäänsä hän käyttääkin sitten päästäkseen takaisin sisään.

Tää täti lähtee koht nykäsee hiukset lyhkäsiks :D
Saap nähä millanen töhö tulee ku en oikeen viel ees tiiä millai tahon ne ja aika on neljält :D:D
JA en oo mikää selvästi selittämisen ihmelapsi xD

Sanokaa seuraavat enkunkieliset lauseet selvästi ja mahdollisimman hyvin äännettynä.
Toista lausetta;

HIGH STUCK ARE WITH TO - Haistakaa vittu

RICE COUSIN KISS SUNNY - Raiskasin kissani

RA PICK ARE PEAR SET TANNY - Raapikaa persettäni

TO LIP US CUT HOSE SOON - Tuli paskat housuun

NINETY MICE TOO - Nainti maistuu

;D

1. Äidit opettavat kuinka TYÖT TEHDÄÄN SIISTISTI:"Jos te ****leet aiotte tappaa toisenne, menkää ulos! Sain just siivottua!"

2. Äidit opettavat USKONTOA:"Sun on parasta rukoilla että tämä tahra lähtee tästä matosta!"

3. Äidit opettavat LOGIIKKAA:"Se on niin, koska minä sanon niin!" ja "Jos putoat siitä keinusta ja katkaiset niskasi, et pääse kanssani kauppaan!"

4. Äidit opettavat IRONIAA:"Naurapa vielä vähän aikaa, niin annan sulle syyn itkeä!!"

5. Äidit opettavat asioita NÄLÄNHÄDÄSTÄ:"Suu kiinni ja syö se lautanen tyhjäksi!"

6. Äidit opettavat AKROBATIAA:"Kato nyt mitä sontaa sulla on niskassa!"

7. Äidit opettavat HILLITTYÄ KÄYTÖSTÄ:"Istut siinä hiljaa ja liikkumatta, kunnes ruoka on valmista!"

8. Äidit opettavat LUONNONMULLISTUKSISTA:"Ihan kuin pyörremyrsky olisi sekottanu huoneesi!"

9. Äidit opettavat PITKÄJÄNTEISYYTTÄ:"Istut siinä niin kauan kunnes kaikki herneet on syöty."

10. Äidit opettavat KÄRSIVÄLLISYYTTÄ:"Odotahan kun päästään kotiin!"

11. Äidit opettavat GENETIIKKAA:"Olet ihan kuin isäsi!"

12. Äidit opettavat IÄN TUOMAA VIISAUTTA:"Kun olet minun ikäiseni, ymmärrät kyllä!"

13. Äidit opettavat SELVÄNNÄKEMISTÄ: "Vaihda puhtaat alushousut, ei tiedä vaikka joudut onnettomuuteen!"

14. Äidit opettavat TALOUSASIOISTA: "jos et nyt perkele heti lopeta, niin sut myydään mustalaisille !"

MIKSI pizza toimitetaan nopeammin asiakkaalle kuin ambulanssi saapuu perille?
MIKSI luisteluhallin edessä on parkkipaikka liikuntavammaisille?
MIKSI naiset laittavat ripsiväriä aina suu auki?
MIKSI sana lyhenne ei ole lyhyempi?
MITEN kyltti "kiellettyä astua nurmikolle" on saatu keskelle nurmikkoa?
MIKSI täytyy käyttää käynnistä-valikkoa, kun haluaa sulkea Windowsin?
MIKSI kissanruokaa ei ole hiiren makuisena?
MIKSI koiranruoka-tölkissä lukee; "entistä parempi maku" - kuka on testannut sen?
MIKSI painat kaukosäätimen nappuloita lujempaa, kun patterit ovat melkein tyhjät?
MIKSI Nooa ei lyönyt hyttysparia kuoliaaksi?
MIKSI laitoksilla ja paikoilla, jotka ovat 24 tuntia vuorokaudessa auki, on ylipäänsä lukot?
MIKSI Jumala on antanut miehille sekä aivot että munat, mutta ei tarpeeksi verta niiden käyttämiseen yhtä aikaa?


Jos lukiessasi hymyilit edes kerran, sinun täytyy kopioida tämä omaan päiväkirjaasi, jos haluat myös muiden hymyilevän.

6 elämän faktaa:

1) Et voi koskettaa jokaista hammastasi kielelläsi.

2) Kaikki tyhmät, luettuaan edellisen faktan, yrittävät sitä.

3) Ensimmäinen fakta on vale.

4) Hymyilet nyt koska olet idiootti.

5) Näytät seuraavaksi tämän jollekkin toiselle idiootille.

6) Naamassasi on edelleen idioottimainen virne.

Kun luet tämän viestin, vietä muutaman minuutin hiljaisuus heille, ketkä menehtyivät Jokelan ampumakohtauksessa. Kun olet viettänyt hiljaisuutta, kopioi tämä viesti ja lisää se omaan päiväkirjaasi. Menehtyneet ansaitsevat hiljaisuuden

Kaverilta tuli s-postia... Haluaako joku koiran?

Hei!

Meidän naapurilla on koira, jonka hän antaa hyvään kotiin ILMAISEKSI.
Se on mäyräkoira ja sopii myös lapsiperheeseen. Se annetaan
pois, koska naapurin vaimon mukaan koira "tuijottaa" kun hän
riisuutuu ja se "karmii" häntä. Vaimo taitaa vaan olla vähän omituinen!''

Täällä kuva koirasta:
http://www.aijaa.com/v.php?i=1089761.jpg

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Auta kissaa valloittamaan Irc-Galleria
Lisäämällä tämä sinun päiväkirjaasi :D