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If I lose your love, osa 6Tiistai 25.03.2008 21:09

CHAPTER 6 - Goodbye

-IÂ’m really sorryÂ… Her illnes has turned to something we canÂ’t cure. Somehow, she seems not to want to live anymoreÂ… We canÂ’t do anythingÂ… You can say goodbyes to her and then I suggest you to leave. You are informed later about the situationÂ…

The doctors leave the room. MayÂ’s mother cries against her husband. They say something to May and then also leave.
Jay walks trembling next to her bed. He sits down and a tear falls from his eye.

-WhatÂ… Happened, May?

He waits for the answer. Mays eyes stay closed. Jay takes a deep breath and grabs the girls hand, gently.

-YouÂ… You promised, didnÂ’t you? You p-promised meÂ… You wouldnÂ’t dieÂ…

He doesnÂ’t try to stop them anymore, the tears. They fall freely to his cheeks, when his suffering eyes look at Mays lifeless face.


-You canÂ’t leave me, okay..? No, May, donÂ’tÂ… I could die for you, just donÂ’t go, pleaseÂ… PleaseÂ…! WHAT DID I DO WRONG!? Damn!!..
-Ja..y..
-May? MAY!! YouÂ’re still alive!! Did you say something?!
-ItsÂ… M-eÂ…DÂ…
-What? What? I am here, May, I am here!! Stay awake!
-DonÂ…tÂ…beÂ…sad
-DonÂ’tÂ… WhatÂ… No, May, pleaseÂ…
-IÂ…
-May!?
-IÂ… St..
-No No No, donÂ’t close your eyes! No-!
-J-ayÂ… IÂ… StillÂ… Lo-veÂ…You.


~



“I still love you.” Those were the last words I heard May said to me. Se had written a letter, where she explained everything. She thought I didn’t love her anymore. She thought she was left alone, but she kept on loving me. I made a mistake, that ruined my life, ruined May’s life. I know I’ll never forgive myself. And I hate myself now, I’ll hate myself for the rest of my life. She died for a misunderstanding. I was important to her. So important, that it took her away.
ItÂ’s been many years now, but still I remember it all; the night when I ran to the hospital; I remember the painfull looks and MayÂ’s eyes full of sadness, when she looked at me for the last time. I remember, how I prayed for her to come back, and finally, fell asleep with her cold hands in my owns.
As winter turns to spring, and summer to autumn, life changes. Time changes. And we canÂ’t stop it.

I continued my life, thinking about her. I hope she is happy where she is now. And IÂ’m glad I am able to follow her someday. I have tried to commit a suicide for a few times, but thereÂ’s always something that stops me. ItÂ’s like May is wispering to my ear to keep on trying. I get a warm feeling inside me, and forget the lonely world for a moment.

ThatÂ’s right. There are things we canÂ’t stop from turning to something else. Maybe we forget, maybe we get tired of caring. For meÂ… My life took a new curse that night. Now I am walking a lonely path, that seems to be endless. But I donÂ’t complain, because I know thereÂ’s one thing that will never change.


I will always love May.
And she will always stay in my heart, until the day
ItÂ’s my turn to close my eyes
For the Last time.

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