IRC-Galleria

We talked about humor today and I was probably only one who found those jokes funny...xD

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These jokes are by British comedian Tommy Cooper who was famous for telling so un-funny jokes that they actually made people laugh.

1. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. They charged on and let the other one off.

2." You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They had left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'. So that was nice."

3."So I got home and the phone was ringing. Picked it up and said 'Who speaking please?' and a voice said 'You are'."

4."So I rang up my local swimming baths, I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from'."

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Some book titles...

'Make Money Easily' by Robin Banks
'Crime Prevention' by Laura Norder
'So Tired' by Carrie Mee

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Have you heard about the conjuror who used to entertain the passengers every night on board ship?

Well, every night he gave his show, and every time he did, a parrot used to sit not far away, with his beady eyes fixed on him.
And when the conjuror hid a card up his sleevem the parrot would croak:"It's up his sleeve!" And when he slipped a rabbit in his pocket, the parrot would croak:"Down his torusers, down his trousers!"
The conjuror was dying to wring his neck.
But one night when the conjuror was in the middle of his tricks, the ship hit an iceberg, broke two and sank almost immediately. The conjuror found himself in the water and trashed about to keep afloat, until he eventually managed to pull himself up on to an empty raft. He flopped onto it, absolutely exhausted. And who should be perched on the far side on the raft too? The parrot. And the parrot's beady eyes were fixed on the conjuror.
The conjuror just lay there, flat out, for nearly an hour. And all the while the parrot never stirred, and he never for one second took his eyes off the conjuror.
Finally, the conjuror moved, and opened his eyes. And the parrot croaked:"All right, I give up. Where's the ship?"