.. That matters to me in anyway, why should I have anything then as I have the strange ability to destroy without even trying.
I will never again do it - Never. I see it and I hear it, it never goes away. I´m in a never ending black hole, I want to go - to move on, to some place new. To somewhere when I can begin again.
It´s cowardly I know, but what other choice do I have? I don´t want to be here, see these poeple going on and on.
Eventually it will always be my fault, so does it matter what I do? It´s not like they care anyway.
Lost everything that matter. That´s what happens in the end to everyone. Sooner or later. To me it happened sooner, and so I will go on.
I hope that where ever I go - I can begin a new. So that I don´t have to see and hear the despair that I unleash to others.
I hate myself, I hate everyone else, it´s common in my life to hate and despair. I hated, now I´m empty. Finished with emotion - It doesn´t matter to me anymore, I´m Tabula Rasa, feel what you want, I will not. Never again will I let someone inside to wound me, to betray me.
For now on, I´ll protect myself, I will go on, move on to someplace else, and leave everything behind. I don´t want or need this anymore.