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Valloittaja katti =) Torstai 18.10.2007 23:46


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Auta kissaa valloittamaan Irc-Galleria
Lisäämällä tämä sinun päiväkirjaasi :D

Juuri näin...hehLauantai 04.08.2007 20:53

Esimerkiksi:
Eräs ilta viime viikolla olin menossa tyttöystäväni kanssa sänkyyn.
Intohimot alkoivat jyllätä, kunnes lopulta hän sanoi:
"Sori Kulta. Nyt ei vaan tunnu siltä. Mä vaan haluisin että pitäisit mua sylissä"
Minä siihen: "MITÄ?! Mikä vittu toi nyt oli?"
Joten hän sanoi sanat, jotka jokainen poikaystävä tässä maailmassa pelkää kuulla:
Sinä et vain ole samalla tasolla minun henkisten ja naisellisten tarpeiden kanssa jotta voisin tyydyttää sinun miehiset,
fyysiset tarpeet. Etkö voi vain rakastaa minua sellaisena kuin minä olen, ei sellaisena mitä teen vuoksesi makuuhuoneessa"
Tajusin että mitään ei sinä iltana tule tapahtumaan joten aloin nukkumaan.
Seuraavana päivänä päätin ottaa vapaapäivän töistä, jotta voin viettää aikaa tyttöystäväni kanssa.
Menimme ensin mukavalle lounaalle jonka jälkeen shoppailemaan isoon tavarataloon.
Kävelin hänen kanssaan ympäri osastoa hänen kokeillessa eri asuja päälleen.
Koska hän ei osannut päättää minkä ottaa minä ehdotin että otetaan yksi jokaista mallia.
Seuraavaksi hän halusi parin uusia kenkiä ja minä ehdotin että otetaan pari jokaiselle uudelle asulle.
Menimme seuraavaksi koruosastolla jossa hän valitsi itselleen timanttikorvakorut.
Hän oli niin innostunut.. Hän alkoi jo jopa lähestyä seksuaalista kiihottumista kun hän sanoi:
"Eiköhän tässä ole kaikki kulta. Mennäänkö sitten kassalle?"
Pystyin juuri ja juuri hillitsemään itseni kun sanoin:
"Sori kulta, nyt ei vaan tunnu siltä".
Hänen kasvonsa muuttuivat kalpeiksi ja hänen leukansa loksahti auki kun hän sai sanottua suustaan "Mitä?!"
Minä jatkoin: "Kulta minä vain halusin että pitäisit näitä tavaroita sylissä.
Sinä et vain ole samalla tasolla minun miehisten,
taloudellisten tarpeideni kanssa jotta voisin tyydyttää sinun ostos-tarpeet naisena".
Ja juuri kun hän alkoi näyttää siltä että tulee varmasti tappamaan minut, minä lisäsin:
"Mikset voi vain rakastaa minua sellaisena kuin olen, ei sellaisena mitä voin sinulle ostaa?
Todennäköisesti ei seksiä tipu tänäänkään, mutta ainakin se narttu tietää että olen sitä viisaampi.

[Ei aihetta]Torstai 01.02.2007 19:43

näin juuri...

Ai naisiako muka vaikea miellyttää? Tapahtuipa eräänä päivänä miehen tullessa töistä kotiin:

- (mies ) Ostin sulle kukkasia.
- (vaimo ) Jaa. Miksi?
- No ostin kun ajattelin että kaipaat kukkia.
- Onko tapahtunut jotain?
- Ei. Miten niin?
- No kun ostit kukkia.
- Siis mä ostin kukkia ihan vaan ostamisen ilosta.
- Et siis mua varten. Ostamisen ilosta. Luulekko saavas sillä perusteella?
- No en. Ostin kukkia, kun olet sanonut etten mä koskaan osta kukkia ja kun ne sattui eteen ja oli halpoja.
- Nii just! Halpoja. Et voi yhtään niinkuin sijoitaa meidän suhteeseen.
- No voi hitto. Nytkö sä suutuit?
- EN!
- Oikeasti. Hankala tässä on tuoda kukkia kun sä suutut niistä.
- En mä kukista suutu. Ne on ihania, mutta miksi sä ostit niitä nyt?
- Voi luoja. Anteeksi että mä ostin kukkia. Voin viedä ne pois.
- Älä vie. Ne on ihania. Ihmetyttää vaan miksi sä ostit nyt.
- Ok. Selvä. Mä en osta enää kukkia sitten jos niistä nousee poru.
- Sä et siis halua ostaa mulle kukkia?
- Täh? No haluan ostaa!
- Älä huuda! No miksi ihmeessä sä sitten et yleensä osta mulle kukkia? Ainoastaan silloin kun tekee mieli tai on tapahtunut jotain.

- No just! Niinpä. Vain silloin kun tekee mieli. Ei mun tee aina mieli.
Ja just nyt ei tosiaan tee mieli. Ostin vaan kukkia. En mä nyt halua seksiä.
- Sä et siis halua mua?
- Uskaltaakohan tähän vastata?
- Tulee vaan sellainen olo nyt että sä et halua mua.
- No haluan. Herran jestas. Tottakai mä haluan sua!.
- Huomaa että sä olet mies. Huudat koko ajan ja ajattelet vaan seksiä.
- Kuule. Mä tulin just kotiin. Väsyttää ja on ollut pitkä päivä. Ja mä ostin vaan kukkia.
- Ei kukat ole vaan kukkia. Ne on romanttinen ele ja normaalisti mies haluaa huomioida naisen tarpeet ostamalla kukkia.
- Niin just! Sitä mä yritin selvitää!
- Miksi sä taas huudat? Niin, mut kun sä et osta kukkia ilman että on joku juju.
- Oikeesti. Lopeta nyt. Annetaan noiden kukkien olla nyt. Onko jotain ruokaa?
- SIKA! Ensin sä tuut ovesta sisään kukka puskan kanssa ja sitten kysyt onko jotain ruokaa. Luuletko että mä olen täällä sua varten palvelemassa ja pyllistelemässä heti jos sä tuot kukkia.

- En mä tuonut kukkia sen takia. Ja ainahan sä teet ruokaa. Äläkä sä huuda koko aikaa.
- AI! Mäkö en saa ilmaista tunteitani koskaan!! Ja kauanko meni että tuon huomasit että mä teen aina ruokaa?
- Mä en sano nyt mitään.
- Niinkuin yleensä. Sä et puhu koskaan mistään mitään.
- No uskaltaako tässä puhua kun aina asia kääntyy väärin päin.
- Ei ne mitään väärin päin käänny. Itsehän alotit!
- Jaa tuomalla kukkia?
- Niin!
- No nyt on selvä että mä en tosiaan enää tuo kukkia..
- Sä et siis välitä musta, kun et halua tuoda edes kukkia.

Seuraa viiden minuutin hiljaisuus. Keittiöstä kuuluu suhahatava ääni, johon vaimo aloittaa:

- Ei jumalauta. Miksi ihmeessä sun pitää heti kotiin tullessa avata kaljapullo. Mitä nyt on tapahtunut kun toit kukkia ja heti alat ryypätä!?!

Kaiken näkösiä juttu juttuja!!!! Perjantai 02.06.2006 20:51


Siitä vaan sitten vastailemaan :D


01. kuka olet?
02. olemmeko ystäviä?
03. koska ja miten tapasimme?
04. oletko ihastunut minuun?
05. pussaisitko minua?
06. anna minulle lempinimi, ja kerro miksi valitsit juuri sen?
07. kuvaile minua yhdellä sanalla
08. mikä oli ensivaikutelmasi minusta?
09. oletko edelleen samaa mieltä?
10. mikä muistuttaa sinua minusta?
11. jos voisit antaa minulle mitä tahansa, mitä se olisi?
12. miten hyvin tunnet minut?
13. koska näimme viimeksi?
14. halusitko joskus kertoa minulle jotain, mitä et ole pystynyt kertomaan?
15. aioitko pistää tämän blogiisi ja katsoa, mitä minä kertoisin sinusta?

[Ei aihetta]Lauantai 25.02.2006 13:51

täydennä ja lähetä eteenpäin...

KOLME NIMEÄ, JOITA TOTTELET:
#juhis
#
#

KOLME NIMIMERKKIÄ, JOTKA SINULLA ON OLLUT:
#Kratz
ei muita...

KOLME ASIAA, JOISTA PIDÄT ITSESSÄSI:
#silmät
#luonne
#varpaat =)

KOLME ASIAA, JOISTA ET PIDÄ ITSESSÄSI:
#lyhyet hermot
#aikaan saamattomuus
#kroppa

KOLME ASIAA JOTKA PELOTTAVAT SINUA:
#ahtaat paikat
#hallitsemattomat tilanteet
#kuolema

KOLME ASIAA, JOTKA OVAT OLENNAISTA PÄIVÄSSÄSI:
#työt
#nukkuminen
#kesän odotus

KOLME ASIAA, JOTKA OVAT PÄÄLLÄSI NYT:
#alushousut
#
#

KOLME LEMPIBÄNDIÄSI (nyt):
#amorphis
#kamelot
#poets of the fall

KAKSI TOTUUTTA JA YKSI VALHE:
#omistan auton
#käyn töissä
#oon tosi ahkera

KOLME FYYSISTÄ ASIAA, JOTKA VIEHÄTTÄVÄT SINUA SUKUPUOLESSA, JOHON OLET MIELTYNYT:
#perse
#silmät
#kasvot

KOLME LEMPIHARRASTUSTASI:
#moottoripyöräily
#sulis
#kavereiden tapaaminen

KOLME ASIAA, JOITA KUUMEISESTI HALUAT TEHDÄ NYT:
#tehdä ruokaa
#mennä kavereiden kans kahville
#voittaa lotossa

KOLME URAA, JOITA HARKITSET:
#lento/laivakapteeni
#poliisi
#miljonääri

KOLME PAIKKAA, JONNE HALUAT MENNÄ LOMALLE:
#ibiza
#thaimaa
#meksiko

KOLME NIMEÄ LAPSELLE:
#joni
#heidi
#kristian

KOLME ASIAA, JOITA TAHDOT TEHDÄ ENNEN KUOLEMAASI:
#kiertää maailmaa
#ostaa porschen
#löytää jonkun kenen kanssa jakaa kaiken

Haastan:
Area51
BlackDevil
tiina3
^^jonskuh^^
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