Meredith: We should forget it ever happened.
Derek: What? You sleeping with me last night? Or you throwing me out this morning? Because both are fond memories I'd like to hang on to.
Meredith: Stop looking at me like that.
Dr. Shepherd: Like what?
Meredith: Like you've seen me naked.
Burke: What the- what the hell is this? Does anybody know what this is?
Meredith: Oh my god.
Burke: [holding up body part with a clamp] What is it Grey?
Meredith: She bit it off...
Burke: What is it? Spit it out, Grey.
Meredith: That's his.....penis.
Cristina: What are you doing?
Meredith: Oh, you know, just sitting here with my penis.
Burke: Anything you say in the next 30 seconds is free starting right now.
Bailey: I think youÂ’re cocky. Arrogant. Bossy and pushy. You also have a god complex and donÂ’t think of anybody but your damn self.
Burke: But I--
Bailey: But what? I still have 22 seconds and IÂ’m not done.
Izzie: I was upset. When IÂ’m upset I like to nest.
Meredith: You're just pissed that two women got the harvest.
Alex: I'm just pissed that anyone except me got the harvest. Boobs in no way factor into this. Unless you want to show me yours
Meredith: I'm going to become a lesbian.
Cristina: Me too.
Cristina: [to Izzie] You are eight feet tall. Your boobs are perfect. Your hair is down to there. If I was you I would just walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't have a job, I wouldn't have any skills, I wouldn't even know how to read. I would just be...naked.
Izzie: It's makeup. It's retouching.
Cristina: You get that we hate you, right?
Derek: [Arrives at Meredith's house and finds her drinking tequila and dancing in her front lawn] You know, in some states, you could get arrested for that. So you blew me off for a bottle of tequila? Tequila's no good for you. It doesn't call, doesn't write, not nearly as much fun to wake up to. [They start kissing]
Meredith: Take me for a ride, Derek.
Meredith: Dr. Shepherd? I'm sorry I called you a jackass.
Shepherd: [looks confused] You didn't.
Meredith: I did...twice.
George: You get any sleep?
Izzie: She should oil the bedsprings, as a courtesy, or at least buy a padded headboard.
George: So, who's the guy?
Izzie: You think it was just one guy doing all that work?
George: Do you mind if I don't think about that?
Izzie: Aw, you jealous?
George: I'm not jealous.
Izzie: Well, I am. Least I know she'll be having a long day at work. [They see Derek leave] Well, at least we know brain surgery isn't his only skill.
George: Hey, have you seen Shepherd?
Izzie: Not as up close as Meredith has.
Meredith: Lets play a game of whose life sucks the most. I'll win. I always win.
Cristina: You don't want to play with me.
Meredith: Oh no, I do. I'll even go first. Derek is married, as in pig-headed adulterous liar married. [George spits out his beer]
Cristina: George...you have beer...coming from your nostrils.
Meredith: All right, your turn.
Cristina: I'm pregnant. I win. [Joe, the bartender, collapses] Okay, maybe Joe wins.
George: You know Joe?
Miranda: Oh, yeah. I was the only female intern my year. I didn't know anybody and nobody knew me. Except Joe. He knew me.
George: Oh. So you and Joe?
Miranda: All you people ever think about is how to get into somebody's pants. You're nasty. [Slaps George]
Miranda: That's why you got syphilis.
Meredith: When you were a kid, it was Halloween candy. You hid it from your parents and you ate it until you got sick. In college, it was the heavy combo of youth, tequila and well, you know. As a surgeon, you take as much of the good as you can get because it doesn't come around nearly as often as it should. 'Cause good things aren't always what they seem. Too much of anything, even love, is not always a good thing.
Izzie: I just, JUST need some sex, George. You know, I just, I need sex now, you know what I mean?
George: No matter how hard you beg, [shaking head] I am not doing you [nodding head and mouthing 'Yes I am'].
Meredith: It's an urban myth that suicide rates spike at the holidays. Turns out they actually go down. Experts think it's because people are less inclined to off themselves when surrounded by family. Ironically, that same family togetherness is thought to be the reason that depression rates actually do spike at the holidays. Yeah, okay. Izzie doesn't count.
Burke: Dr Shepherd
Derek: Dr. Burke. WeÂ’ve known each other for a while
Burke: Yes
Derek: WeÂ’ve done several successful surgeries together
Burke: Yes
Derek: Your girlfriend is my ex-girlfriend's best friend
Burke: Yes
Derek: So why canÂ’t we call each other by our first names?
Burke: I donÂ’t think so
Addison: Hey Preston.
Burke: Good to see you, Addison!
Derek: She gets to call you by your first name and I don't?
Burke: I like her.
Derek: And you don't like me?
Burke: No.
Shepherd': {to Cristina} How is the girl with the bomb?
Cristina: {pause} It's Meredith. The girl with the bomb is Meredith.
Hihihi