IRC-Galleria

Miksi Jumala loi naisen?
- Jonkun pitää kantaa siemenneste makuuhuoneesta vessaan.

Kuinka monta miestä tarvitaan avaamaan olut?
- Ei yhtään, akan pitää se tuoda valmiiksi avattuna.

Miten kissasta tehdään lehmä?
- Mene naimisiin sen kanssa.

Mitä eroa on patterilla ja naisella?
- Patterissa on positiivinen puoli.

Miten kolme kiloa läskiä saadaan näyttämään hyvältä?
- Laitetaan siihen nänni.

Miksei kuussa ole käynyt yhtään naista?
- Se ei ole vielä siivouksen tarpeessa.

Nymfomaani soitti sähkölaitokselle.
- Lähettäkää pian tänne oikein riski sähkömies. Minä olen joutunut olemaan jo kolme päivää pelkän
kynttilän varassa.

Vaimo huusi miehelleen kotiovella:
- Tule pihalle auttamaan minua. Saat siirtää autotallin siihen paikkaan, mihin olen ajanut autoni.

Miksi morsian pukeutuu valkoiseen?
- Tiskikone, liesi ja jääkaappikin ovat valkoisia.

Miksei kannata iskeä naista automaattipesulassa ?
- Jos naisella ei ole varaa omaan pesukoneeseen, niin eihän se pysty miestäkään elättämään.

Mistä tietää että vaimo on kuollut?
- Seksi on kuten ennenkin, mutta tiskiallas täyttyy.

Miksi naisella on lyhyemmät jalkaterät kuin miehillä ?
- Evoluutioon perustuva asia: näin nainen voi seistä lähempänä tiskiallasta.

Mitä kolmea sanaa et halua kuulla rakastellessasi?
- Kulta, olen kotona!

Miten korjaat naisen rannekellon ?
- Ei tarvitse, hellassahan on kello.

Jos koirasi haukkuu takaovella ja vaimo etuovella, kumman päästät sisään?
- Koiran tietenkin - sehän lopettaa heti sisään päästyään.

Mikä on pahempi kuin sovinistisika ?
- Nainen, joka ei tee niin kuin käsketään.

Tiedemiehet ovat keksineet ruuan, joka vähentää naisten seksuaalista halukkuutta 90 prosentilla.
- Sitä kutsutaan hääkakuksi.

Miksi miehet kuolevat ennen vaimojaan ?
- Koska he haluavat niin.

Kuinka hyvin tunnet minut?

1. Mikä on koko nimeni? (3p)
2. Poltanko? (2p)
3. Juonko alkoholijuomia? (2p)
4. Onko minulla sisaruksia? Jos on, kerro heidän nimensä. (3p)
5. Kuinka pitkä olen? (2p)
6. Seurustelenko? Jos, niin kenen kanssa? (3p)
7. Mainitse yksi lempiaineeni koulussa. (2p)
8. Mitkä ovat vanhempieni nimet? (2p)
9. Minkälaisia ihmisiä vihaan? (3p)
10. Alkuperäinen kotipaikkakuntani? (2p)
11. Suurin esikuvani? (4p)

yksityisellä kiitos!

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Auta kissaa valloittamaan Irc-Galleria
Lisäämällä tämä sinun päiväkirjaasi !!

Missä asut: Chaos BC - Sepultura
Kuvaile ensirakkauttasi: Ski Mask Way [Eminem Remix] - 50 Cent

Kuvaile tämän hetkistä ihastumistasi: Betrayal - Tyske Ludder
Mikä on haasteesi: El ojo (Heimaterde Remix) Punto Omega

Ketkä ovat ystäviäsi: Liitto - Turmion Kätilöt
Kuvaile ulkonäköäsi: Laura (Sua Kauheesti Kaipaan) - Hector

Mitä teit viime yönä: Tsingis Khan - Frederik
Mikä on elämäsi tavoite: Faith: Disease - Psyclon Nine

Milloin harrastat seksiä: Good Life (ft. T-Pain) - Kanye West
Miten haluat kuolla: Eviva Espana - Marion

Mitä sanot vanhemmillesi: Mozart 40 - Päivi Paunu ja Aarno Raninen
Missä vietät aikaasi: Kick (Remix) Mindless Self Indulgence

Mitä ajattelet yhteiskunnasta: Entistä Ehompi
Kuvaile viimeisintä sydänsuruasi: Can't happen Here - Atrey

Mikä on selityksesi kaikelle: To Holmgard and Beyond - Turisas
Mitä ajattelet perjantaisin: Sua Vasten Aina Painautuisin - Paula Koivuniemi

Mihin kysymyksiin elämästä et ole saanut vastauksia: Verta ja Lihaa - Turmion Kätilöt
Mikä on lempivärisi: Al Says Hi - Cyan Velvet Project

Mikä on neuvosi vähemmän kokeneille: Parkinglot - The Left Rights
Mitä tekisit mieluiten juuri nyt: Hate This - Grendel

Kuvaile parasta ystävääsi: Hairless and Fancy Free - The Left Rights
Mitä on sänkysi alla: Hyvää Huomenta Suomi - Karma

Mikä on ollut suurin saavutuksesi: Nuoruus on seikkailu - Katri Helena
Mihin menet häämatkalle: Superbeast [Girl on a Motorcycle Mix] - Rob Zombie

Mitä on TEE NÄMÄ -listallasi: Tapani Kansa - Äidin pikkupoika
Missä olisit mieluiten juuri nyt: Taste the Waste - Hocico

***
Tässä tosin vaan yhden aseman muzakit

1. Ystävälläsi on huono päivä ja yrität lohduttaa häntä, mitä sanot?
- Eihän täällä koskaan ole ollut pukeutumiskoodia eikä…

2. Jehovan todistaja ovellasi yrittää taas saarnata jotain, miten vastaat?
- Sovitaanko ettei tänä juhannuksena ryypätä…

3. Myöhästyt tunnilta, mikä on selityksesi?
-.En selvii sinne asti. Täällä juotetaan humalaan!…

4. Mitä kerrot, itsestäsi hakiessasi kesätöitä?
- Joo, kunnon setit kehiin vaanÂ…

5.Mitä vastaat, kun söpö poika pyytää sinua ulos?
- Mitäs sinne Hellään maksaa tähän aikaan? Onko vielä kymppi?

6.Salaisuutesi?
- Ihanaa, krapula mulle tuntematon olotilaÂ…

7. Miten tervehdit nähdessäsi vanhan tuttusi?
- Oon just menossa kauppaan, onko jtn mitä tarviis vielä tuoda?

8.Idolisi fanikirjeeseen kirjoitat...
- Huomenna vielä vapaa.

9.Kysyttäessä tulevaisuuden suunnitelmiasi vastaat:
- Nukuin koko illan siÂ…Sain kuitenkin takan syttyy \o/

10.Historian kokeessa kysyttiin: "Kerro Ranskan vallankumouksesta". Sinä vastasit:
- Mitään perseitä tänään?…

11. Kun joku tuntematon tulee puheillesi:
- Istut kuitenkin jossain himassa ja nautit kun saat kiusata mua :)

Lähettäjät, Kavereita kaikki
Viestit sisältää: Taitaa liittyä jotenkin juhlimiseen kaikki ^^

Kuinka usein harrastat sitä?
[ ] En koskaan
[ ] Kerran viikossa
[ ] 2-3 kertaa
[ ] 3-5 kertaa
[x] 6++.. kertaa viikossa

Mihin aikaan vuorokaudesta yleensä?
[x] Aamuisin
[ ] Päivisin
[ ] Iltaisin
[x] Öisin

Missä harrastat yleensä?
[ ] Makuuhuoneessa
[x] Olohuoneessa
[ ] Keittiössä
[ ] Saunassa
[x] Vessassa

Kerääntyykö suuhusi eritteitä session aikana?
[ ] Ei koskaan
[ ] Harvoin
[ ] Yleensä
[ ] Melkein aina
[x] Aina

Käytättekö sähkö-laitteita apuna?
[x] Kyllä
[ ] Ei
[ ] Joskus

Pidätkö ääniä?
[ ] Kyllä
[x] En

Onko sinulla pakkomielle kyseiseen asiaan?
[ ] Kyllä
[ ] Ei
[x] En tiedä

Tunnetko itsesi tyytyväiseksi jälkeenpäin?
[ ] En koskaan
[ ] Harvoin
[ ] Yleensä
[x] Aina
[ ] Vaihtelevaa

Kuinka pitkään se kestää?
[ ] Alle 5 min
[x] 5-30 min
[ ] Tunnin tai enemmän

Tunnetko itsesi puhtaaksi lopetettuanne?
[ ] En ikinä
[ ] Harvoin
[x] Yleensä
[ ] Aina

Ja tärkein asia:
Minkämerkkinen on hammasharjasi?
Oral-B

Meizillä on keuhkotuubintulehdus ja varmaan nukahdan kolmen kaljan jälkeen, lääkitys on ainakin kohdallaan...

Kyllä sinusta vielä punkkari saadaan! Testin mukaan muistutat legendaarisen Sex Pistols -punkyhtyeen basistia,
Sid Viciousta. Basistina mies ei ollut kummoinen, mutta rock-elämäntyylistä hän taatusti tiesi kaiken!
Sinulla saattaa olla piileviä taipumuksia punk-muusikoksi. Alatko kenties haastaa riitaa humalassa?
Kenties päätät, ettei millään ole väliä, ja juhlit hulluna? Muista kuitenkin katsoa, minne astut, sillä kuten Sid,
sinua saattavat odottaa monet yhteenotot eri tavalla ajattelevien ihmisten kanssa.

Kuten missä tahansa suuressa romanssissa, rakkaus se sinutkin kesyttää. Yhdysvaltalainen Nancy Spungen ihastui
Sidiin jo ennen Sex Pistolsin kuuluisuutta. Heidän tarinaansa pidetään yhtenä suurista rockin rakkaustarinoista.
Pari vannoi ikuista rakkautta, mutta huumeet ja villi elämä mutkistivat asioita.

Vaikka asioiden lopullisesta kulusta ei ole varmuutta, uskotaan, että Sid puukotti Nancyn kuoliaaksi New Yorkin
Hotel Chelseassa 12. lokakuuta 1978. Kuten traagisiin loppuihin kuuluu, liikkeellä on uskomuksia muun muassa
siitä, että Nancy olisi itse pyytänyt Sidiä tappamaan itsensä. Oikeuteen asti ei ehditty, sillä Sid kuoli
yliannostukseen seuraavana vuonna.

Pidä siis päihteidenkäyttösi hanskassa! Myös räiskyvä luonteesi saattaa
aiheuttaa ongelmia: yhtenä hetkenä olet kaikkien kaveri, ja seuraavassa jo janoat kostoa.

Hurjat puolesi: päihdehakuisuus, hälläväliä-asenne, riitaisuus

Rokkarin takaa paljastuu: tottelevaisuus, rakkaudenkaipuu, johtajan seuraaminen


http://cgi.mtv3.fi/helmi/testikone/flash.shtml?59

*köhköh*

http://www.pirok.org/toiminta/tiedotteet/torikat.html