IRC-Galleria

Mihin asiaan kiinnitit ensimmäisenä huomiota ulkonäössäni?
Vastaa ja kopioi omaan päiväkirjaasi, niin tiedät mihin ihmiset sinussa kiinnittävät ensimmäisenä huomiota.

(ja naisten tarkkailla mitä miehet juo)

Seitsemältä baarimikolta tiedusteltiin, pystyisivätkö he
tunnistamaan tai määrittelemään ihmisen persoonallisuuden sen perusteella, millaisia alkoholijuomia tämä valitsee.
Vaikka baarimikkoja haastateltiin erikseen, heidän vastauksensa olivat monilta osin miltei täysin yhtenevät.

Tulokset:

NAISET

Olut: Persoonallisuus: arkinen, vähäkulutuksinen, jalat maassa tyyppi.
Lähestymistapa: Haasta hänet biljardipeliin.

Cocktaileja tai muita sekoitusjuomia, joissa on pikku sateenvarjot:
Persoonallisuus: pinnallinen, kiusallinen höperö, oikea kiusankappale.
Lähestymistapa: Vältä häntä - ellet sitten halua olla hänen leikkikalunsa.

Erilaisia juomia - ilman sateenvarjoja. Persoonallisuus: kypsä nainen,
tarkka, vaativa maku; tietää, mitä haluaa. Lähestymistapa: Jos tämä nainen
haluaa sinut, hän lähettää sinulle drinkin.

Viini (pulloissa): Persoonallisuus: konservatiivinen, hienostunut,
sivistynyt. Lähestymistapa: Yritä saada kiedottua Pariisi ja pukeutuminen
keskustelun aiheisiin.

Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff vedellä, raaka vodka jne: Persoonallisuus:
helppo, uskoo olevansa trendikäs ja sivistynyt, mutta tosiasiassa hänellä
ei ole yksinkertaisesti mitään käsitystä viimeisimmistä villityksistä ja
uusista tuulista -puhumattakaan, että hän olisi sivistynyt. Lähestymistapa:
Yritä saada hänet tuntemaan itsensä viisaammaksi kuin hän onkaan ja homma
on hanskassa.

Baileys: Persoonallisuus: pitkästyttävä-ääninen nyrpistelijä.
Lähestymistapa: Seiso aivan naisen lähellä ja mainitse pubin vieressä
olevasta kujasta...

Erilaiset shotit: Persoonallisuus: roikkuu miesseurassa tai haluaa vetää
kunnon kännit ja päästää sänkyyn. Lähestymistapa: Pubin helpoin nakki. Ei
tarvitse tehdä muuta kuin odottaa.


MIEHET

Siideri: Hän on todennäköisesti alaikäinen ja haluaa saada naista.

Halpa kotimainen olut: Mies on köyhä/opiskelija ja haluaa saada naista.

Paras kotimainen olut: Mies pitää hyvästä oluesta ja haluaa saada naista.

Bitter: Mies on vanha, pitää hyvästä oluesta ja haluaa saada naista.

Tuontiolut: Mies pitää kalliista oluesta ja haluaa saada naista.

Guinness:Mies on raiskaaja-tyyppiä ja saa naista tavalla tai toisella.

Viini:Mies toivoo, että viininjuonti antaa hänestä sivistyneen mielikuvan
ja auttaa häntä saamaan naista.

Vodka tai brandy: Tämä mies on äärimmäisen himokas ja tekee mitä vain
saadakseen naista.

Portviini: Mies uskoo olevansa sivistynyt, pitää salaa miehistä ja haluaa
saada naista.

Viski:Mies ei välitä paskaakaan yhtään mistään ja lyö ketä tahansa, joka
asettuu hänen tielleen silloin, kun hän on saamassa naista.

Jack Daniels:Tämä mies ei ole aivan yhtä maskuliininen kuin perinteinen
viskinjuoja. Saadakseen naista tämä mies on valmis ryhtymään naisen kanssa
pitkäänkin keskusteluun, vaikka se koskisi erilaisia naisten
touhuja(kutominen,virkkaaminen jne.) - vain päästäkseen luikahtamaan naisen
vuoteeseen.

Tequila:Haluaa saada aikaiseksi tappelun miltei yhtä paljon kuin haluaa
saada naista.

Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff vedellä, raaka vodka jne.:Hän on homo
(ilmiselvästi).

Miksi Jumala loi naisen?
- Jonkun pitää kantaa siemenneste makuuhuoneesta vessaan.

Kuinka monta miestä tarvitaan avaamaan olut?
- Ei yhtään, akan pitää se tuoda valmiiksi avattuna.

Miten kissasta tehdään lehmä?
- Mene naimisiin sen kanssa.

Mitä eroa on patterilla ja naisella?
- Patterissa on positiivinen puoli.

Miten kolme kiloa läskiä saadaan näyttämään hyvältä?
- Laitetaan siihen nänni.

Miksei kuussa ole käynyt yhtään naista?
- Se ei ole vielä siivouksen tarpeessa.

Nymfomaani soitti sähkölaitokselle.
- Lähettäkää pian tänne oikein riski sähkömies. Minä olen joutunut olemaan jo kolme päivää pelkän
kynttilän varassa.

Vaimo huusi miehelleen kotiovella:
- Tule pihalle auttamaan minua. Saat siirtää autotallin siihen paikkaan, mihin olen ajanut autoni.

Miksi morsian pukeutuu valkoiseen?
- Tiskikone, liesi ja jääkaappikin ovat valkoisia.

Miksei kannata iskeä naista automaattipesulassa ?
- Jos naisella ei ole varaa omaan pesukoneeseen, niin eihän se pysty miestäkään elättämään.

Mistä tietää että vaimo on kuollut?
- Seksi on kuten ennenkin, mutta tiskiallas täyttyy.

Miksi naisella on lyhyemmät jalkaterät kuin miehillä ?
- Evoluutioon perustuva asia: näin nainen voi seistä lähempänä tiskiallasta.

Mitä kolmea sanaa et halua kuulla rakastellessasi?
- Kulta, olen kotona!

Miten korjaat naisen rannekellon ?
- Ei tarvitse, hellassahan on kello.

Jos koirasi haukkuu takaovella ja vaimo etuovella, kumman päästät sisään?
- Koiran tietenkin - sehän lopettaa heti sisään päästyään.

Mikä on pahempi kuin sovinistisika ?
- Nainen, joka ei tee niin kuin käsketään.

Tiedemiehet ovat keksineet ruuan, joka vähentää naisten seksuaalista halukkuutta 90 prosentilla.
- Sitä kutsutaan hääkakuksi.

Miksi miehet kuolevat ennen vaimojaan ?
- Koska he haluavat niin.

Kuinka hyvin tunnet minut?

1. Mikä on koko nimeni? (3p)
2. Poltanko? (2p)
3. Juonko alkoholijuomia? (2p)
4. Onko minulla sisaruksia? Jos on, kerro heidän nimensä. (3p)
5. Kuinka pitkä olen? (2p)
6. Seurustelenko? Jos, niin kenen kanssa? (3p)
7. Mainitse yksi lempiaineeni koulussa. (2p)
8. Mitkä ovat vanhempieni nimet? (2p)
9. Minkälaisia ihmisiä vihaan? (3p)
10. Alkuperäinen kotipaikkakuntani? (2p)
11. Suurin esikuvani? (4p)

yksityisellä kiitos!

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Auta kissaa valloittamaan Irc-Galleria
Lisäämällä tämä sinun päiväkirjaasi !!

Missä asut: Chaos BC - Sepultura
Kuvaile ensirakkauttasi: Ski Mask Way [Eminem Remix] - 50 Cent

Kuvaile tämän hetkistä ihastumistasi: Betrayal - Tyske Ludder
Mikä on haasteesi: El ojo (Heimaterde Remix) Punto Omega

Ketkä ovat ystäviäsi: Liitto - Turmion Kätilöt
Kuvaile ulkonäköäsi: Laura (Sua Kauheesti Kaipaan) - Hector

Mitä teit viime yönä: Tsingis Khan - Frederik
Mikä on elämäsi tavoite: Faith: Disease - Psyclon Nine

Milloin harrastat seksiä: Good Life (ft. T-Pain) - Kanye West
Miten haluat kuolla: Eviva Espana - Marion

Mitä sanot vanhemmillesi: Mozart 40 - Päivi Paunu ja Aarno Raninen
Missä vietät aikaasi: Kick (Remix) Mindless Self Indulgence

Mitä ajattelet yhteiskunnasta: Entistä Ehompi
Kuvaile viimeisintä sydänsuruasi: Can't happen Here - Atrey

Mikä on selityksesi kaikelle: To Holmgard and Beyond - Turisas
Mitä ajattelet perjantaisin: Sua Vasten Aina Painautuisin - Paula Koivuniemi

Mihin kysymyksiin elämästä et ole saanut vastauksia: Verta ja Lihaa - Turmion Kätilöt
Mikä on lempivärisi: Al Says Hi - Cyan Velvet Project

Mikä on neuvosi vähemmän kokeneille: Parkinglot - The Left Rights
Mitä tekisit mieluiten juuri nyt: Hate This - Grendel

Kuvaile parasta ystävääsi: Hairless and Fancy Free - The Left Rights
Mitä on sänkysi alla: Hyvää Huomenta Suomi - Karma

Mikä on ollut suurin saavutuksesi: Nuoruus on seikkailu - Katri Helena
Mihin menet häämatkalle: Superbeast [Girl on a Motorcycle Mix] - Rob Zombie

Mitä on TEE NÄMÄ -listallasi: Tapani Kansa - Äidin pikkupoika
Missä olisit mieluiten juuri nyt: Taste the Waste - Hocico

***
Tässä tosin vaan yhden aseman muzakit

1. Ystävälläsi on huono päivä ja yrität lohduttaa häntä, mitä sanot?
- Eihän täällä koskaan ole ollut pukeutumiskoodia eikä…

2. Jehovan todistaja ovellasi yrittää taas saarnata jotain, miten vastaat?
- Sovitaanko ettei tänä juhannuksena ryypätä…

3. Myöhästyt tunnilta, mikä on selityksesi?
-.En selvii sinne asti. Täällä juotetaan humalaan!…

4. Mitä kerrot, itsestäsi hakiessasi kesätöitä?
- Joo, kunnon setit kehiin vaanÂ…

5.Mitä vastaat, kun söpö poika pyytää sinua ulos?
- Mitäs sinne Hellään maksaa tähän aikaan? Onko vielä kymppi?

6.Salaisuutesi?
- Ihanaa, krapula mulle tuntematon olotilaÂ…

7. Miten tervehdit nähdessäsi vanhan tuttusi?
- Oon just menossa kauppaan, onko jtn mitä tarviis vielä tuoda?

8.Idolisi fanikirjeeseen kirjoitat...
- Huomenna vielä vapaa.

9.Kysyttäessä tulevaisuuden suunnitelmiasi vastaat:
- Nukuin koko illan siÂ…Sain kuitenkin takan syttyy \o/

10.Historian kokeessa kysyttiin: "Kerro Ranskan vallankumouksesta". Sinä vastasit:
- Mitään perseitä tänään?…

11. Kun joku tuntematon tulee puheillesi:
- Istut kuitenkin jossain himassa ja nautit kun saat kiusata mua :)

Lähettäjät, Kavereita kaikki
Viestit sisältää: Taitaa liittyä jotenkin juhlimiseen kaikki ^^