A "friend" is someone who
comes to bail you out of
jail.
A "good friend" is sitting
next to you in jail
saying: Damn that was fun!
A "good friend", when visiting, acts like a guest.
A "true friend" opens your refrigerator and helps himself.
A "good friend "will knock on the door.
A "true friend" will walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"