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epic pätkiä footylta:

"Hiiiii~ class and welcome to The English Way!!
In this class you shall be guided through the Ways of teh England, this is designed to help you if you ever decide to visit and prepare you for things unlike any you'll have ever experienced...


3. In England, we dislike anything that acts happier than it should be, this can be seen in our dislike for Americans and such, they're fat, they don't know proper English, and probably shot their own brother for a hamburger they found behind the couch, yet they smile and laugh like they streets are made of steak. So when walking the streets act angry or sad, unless you see a good looking girl, then smile and howl, if you don't other males will accuse you of gaydom and beat you to death.

4. In England, we like accents, so keep your accent the way it is, it allows us to not understand what you say most of the time and lessen the convo time between each other, this is good, since we can't be arsed telling some tourist there is no sea in London.

5. In England, giving someone advice is seen as an insult, don't do it.

6. In England, asking for help is for gays, don't do it.

7. In England, never admit to having visited Scotland or Wales, don't go there anyway.

8. In England, when you buy a hoody, it comes with a knife installed in the pocket, use it wisely.

11. In England, murder, drink till death, rape, beat, crash cars, run people over, steal and shit on door steps all you like, our Health Care is not only free but it makes you better!"