So pleased that you enjoyed my last letter. Why don't you just admit that every word I write fascinates you? It would save so much time. The nicest thing I can say about your letter is that it exists. I consider it my puristic duty as self-elected chairman of our National League of Deceny to cultivate your mind at once. My only fear is that it may already be too late...
It was a terrible blow to hear that you actually worked. I didn't think anyone did so anymore. It's so old-fashioned to work. I'd much rather lounge about the house all day looking fascinating. I'd rather look fascinating than have a permanent income. Am I insane?
It wasn't very considerate of your parents to christen your "rabbit". Are they fond of little furry thing? And as for your being an only child, well, don't you know that all such people eventually become bisexual psychopaths?
I like Eno also, especially the 1st & 2nd albums and 'Backwater' off 'B&AS'. Also, Lou Reed. I love 'The Bells', it must be his best album ever. I have most of this stuff, and I've seen him 4 times.
Your interest in OMITD is surely the result of having nothing to do. I hate, loathe, detest, abhor, abominate, cannot stand or abide Miss Numan. To me, all electronic music is just a sad accident. So, you had an "exciting letter from Janine in Nottingham"; did you tell her that you had an exciting letter from Manchester? Of course you did!
You ask if I'm interested in Art. Well, there's art and there's Art. Do you mean paintings, or creative writing? I am interested in films which are Art to me, and also, BOOKS, and some 'music'...
It's interesting about your friend who shaved his legs. Are all your friends like this? Incidentally, I saw you on TV last week - but why did you choose the name Julia Grant? It's nice of you to bring Cliff Richard up to my level, but he really doesn't deserve it. And why do you say you're an only child when your last letter mention a "sister"?
What would you like to know about America, bucko? Don't tell me you've never been! Every schmuck has been to America (and incidentally, only the uneducated say "America", the hip lingo specialists say "the States", baby.)
What are your favorite films? What's your fave color? Answers on a postcard please.
As for your medical jigsaw, I hope it turns out to be pornographic. Why don't you send me a nice photograph? Isn't that what we're supposed to do?
Write soon, there's a good boy.