IRC-Galleria

One upon a time there was this woman who looked like Cher. She may have once been beautiful, who knows? But now, she just looks scary beyond all reason.

So anyway, 17 years ago this woman had sex with an albino, and after that, she got a baby daughter who looks really pretty, and her face was white as snow, her hair a jet black, and her lips red as blood. The proud mother called her Snow White.

The albino daddy of Snow White decided to turn gay, so the mother brought her baby daughter to the local pub where she could drown all her sorrows. Alas, she got drunk again, but this time, the one night stand turned out to be a Prince! The desperate Prince was forced by his dying mum to marry a fat and ugly princess from the next country before he could be King, so he decided to marry Snow White's mum instead, faking his mum that Snow White was his daughter but he was just afraid to acknowledge her a year ago.

The Prince's mother died and the Prince was made King, making Snow White a princess.

Now there's a problem. As the Queen got older and more wrinkled, the King seems to eye beautiful Snow White more and more. One day, the Queen saw the King touch Snow White's hands lustily!

"AHEM!"

The King and Snow White jumped apart.

"My King, it has been long since you gave me a gift.... I want a servant who can tell me how beautiful I am everyday, because apparently my daugther is getting more attractive than me, isn't she?!! HUH?!"

The King gave a loud grunt and heck cared the Queen, so the angry Queen smacked the King on the head with a piece of Char Siew.

"Oww~! That fucking hurts! What was that for? And where did that piece of thing come from?!"

"Its for ignoring me, you bastard! And its apparently called a Char Siew, this thing. Someone mailed it to me. I find no use for it except to whack you."

"Whatever. You are a wrinkled as Lee Kwan Yew."

"Who is that?!"

"Some Chinese man which our prophet says will be the most wrinkled man on Earth in future."

"Our prophet always talks bullshit! Ask him to predict the next war and he will say something like, 'Do-do birds will be extinct.' Wtf? Do-do birds will never be extinct, they are everywhere! What an idiotic prophet we have!"

The King took advantage of the situation, grabbed the Char Siew, and smacked the Queen on the head.

"Go get urself that magic mirror in my room and stop yakking and yakking! Leave me alone with Snow White!"

"I thought you loved that mirror?", the Queen asked.

"It used to tell me my dick is the longest in the world but now it refuses to look at it since I tried to shove it into its mouth."

"YOU WHAT? DISGUSTING BASTARD!"

"I am King. I do whatever I want."

So anyway, the Queen got hold of the mirror.

"Mirror mirror on the wall, tell me, whos the fairest of them all?"

The guy in the mirror woke up, and said, "Michael Jackson after his bleaching? No. Actually, Snow White. Duh. Did you even for a moment think it was you? You are scary beyond all reason! Anyway, wait till you hear what that husband of yours did to me!"

The Queen gave the mirror no chance to do that. She whacked it with the piece of Char siew and it smashed into a million pieces.

"Lai ren ah!", she screamed. "Kill Snow White for me! "