IRC-Galleria

Parhaita paloja,



(203): There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
(860): Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head


(913): Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.


(407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...


(510): he said he didn't have a condom.
(415): and you said?
(510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.


(847): I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
(1-847): How was it?
(847): Fantastic, but that's not the point.


(812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow


(813): I'm fucking your sister right now.
(1-813): You motherfucker
(813): She's next.


(775): before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.


(410): can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
(443): wasted?
(410): im pocohantasssss


(512): i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.


(347): in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him


(857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.


(443): I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart


(330): I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.


(908): It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers


(484): Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. IÂ’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.


(425): i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.


(248): Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?


(219): Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.


(214): dude. I'm so drunk.
(972): pete, this is bryce's mom
(214): I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
(972): pete, this is still bryce's mom


(916): So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?


(704 ): I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is


(978): i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven


(905): Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
(1-905): With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.


(469): i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...


(757): I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"


(562): Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.


(250): Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
(1-250): I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.


(616): who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss


(519): and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.