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I'm gonna suffer for the rest of my life
But I will always find a way to survive
I'm not a failure, but I know what it's like
I can take it or leave it... or die

Ihmettelen vaan tässä kun stressi kuullemma on tappamassa mut, asioita joita kaipaa ja ikävöi aiheuttaa niitä niinkun myös arkinen päivä ja kello, mitenpä tuosta pääsis eroon? No kyllä hätä keinot keksii mut ei tunnu hirveen mukavalta koko ajan ajatella että miten sais ajan kulumaan, sit kun on jotain mikä saa ajan rientämään huomaa että päivä on liian lyhyt ja taas stressa. rahaa kaan ei yhtään ylimäärästä oo just silleen et on varaa maksaa bensaa et pääsee töihin ja saa kerran päivässä ruokaa, jee (olis ihan jees syödä edes kahdesti) mutta minkäs sille voi ei mitään! MUT SILTI STRESSA!!! mikä vittu tää olo oiken on yksin ei halua olla mutta ei kaipaa seuraakaan. (ihan kenestä vaan) no joulun jälkeen jämsään miettimään asiaa uusiks taas ihmisten pariin kenestä vielä välittää vaikka ei aina vastakaikua kuulu, mutta saapa taas olla hetken vailla murheita ja huolia. En ymmärrä koko asiaa mikä saa sen täydellisen tyhjyyden tunteen aikaiseksi kun siellä on, ja sen ylenpalttisen hyvän olon tunteen kun ei mitään muuta tarvii miettiä kun......................................................................................................

I'm gonna suffer for the rest of my life
But I will always find a way to survive
I'm not a failure, but I know what it's like
I can take it or leave it... or die

Tell me what do you see when you see yourself
I don't really get it, how do you make it through the day without killing yourself
Bye bye, why don't you go and
Die die, I'll fuck you up
You want me on my knees but I'm not going down
Bye bye, leave me alone or
Die die, it's your choice
No time for games, so just leave me the fuck alone

Do you know, you're all the same
Got to play these stupid games
You're getting on my nerves, so just stay the fuck away
Who died and made you god
This time you've gone to far
I think it-s time for you to understand: this is war

There's nothing to see here, I don't wanna be here
Get me out of here right now
I can not sit around and wait for you to drive me insane
Bye bye, why don't you go and
Die die, I'll fuck you up
You want me on my knees but I'm not going down
Bye bye, leave me alone or
Die die, it's your choice
No time for games, so just leave me the fuck alone

So you think I'm unreasonable
Do you really think I am a toy that you can kick around
Don't come here you're a waste of time
Some people never know, when it's time to back away
It will come back at you and slap you in the face

There's nothing to see here, I don't wanna be here
Get me out of here right now
I can not sit around and wait for you to drive me insane
I don't have patience so what are you after
Do you want me to snap right now
Some things will never ever change, like you and your ugly face
Bye bye, why don't you go and
Die die, I'll fuck you up
You want me on my knees but I'm not going down
Bye bye, leave me alone or
Die die, it's your choice
No time for games, so just leave me the fuck alone

Bye bye, its your choice
Die die, I'll fuck you up

Bye bye, why don't you go and
Die die, leave me alone

Woke up this morning
with my head in the dirt
Master of disaster has raped my soul again
I feel like shit and my body hurts
What did I do?
Can't remember a thing
Not a thing

It's constant battle
And the bottle always wins

I wanna go all the way
Down the bottle's nest
I'm gonna go all the way
Why pretend?

I'm falling

Another day
Another party
Another toast
I slam the drink
And I almost fall
And the madness is ready to choke my throat

It doesn't matter
It won't hurt at all
Not at all

I've stopped fighting the bottle
'Cause the bottle always wins

I wanna go all the way
Down the bottle's nest
I'm gonna go all the way
Why pretend?

Pour me another drink
Oh how I need it bad
Pour me another drink
Pour it down my throat

I wanna go all the way
Down the bottle's nest
I'm gonna go all the way
Why pretend?

hmm... maailma on kumma paikka toinen kun on opettanu yhtä ja toinen tulee neuvomaan toista, vastuu omista tekosista pitäisi ottaa... mutta toisesta suunnasta kuulee että vastuu loppuu kun on omat sanansa sanonnu, oon yrittäny sanoa ja sanoinkin joten vastuu ei pitäisi olla minulla enään, mutta silti omantunnon tuskat rastaa ja repii hajalle. Liikaa asioita muistuttamassa ja tuomassa tuskaa tähän kylmään ja saastaiseen maailmaan, miksi elää jos ei enään löydä iloa surusta ja murheesta, koska on väärin luovuttaa! (kuka on niin sanonu?). No päivä päivälta kyllä varmaan dementtia korjaa sen tuskan minkä on itteleen saattanut

I.M Of An Lost And Dead World

Why are we never satisfied,
The Grass is always greener on the other side
Fear of never having enough, dreams that turns into rust
sometimes it's better to leave things alone
the road to success is hard and cold
I'm turning into something I don't wanna be
I've got a feeling that something is changing me
I can not let it all slip away
It's driving me insane

I don't wanna be nothing
Time is ticking, I feel stranded
I don't wanna be nothing
Make it go away

Fighting the battle that's growing within
It doesn't matter if I loose or win
its getting to the point where I can't get away
I can not let it all slip away
It's driving me insane
I don't wanna be nothing
Time is ticking, I feel stranded
I don't wanna be nothing
make it go away

I don't wanna be nothing
Hate is growing inside of me
I don't wanna be nothing
I'm taking back what used to be mine
I can't believe my luck is bleeding
My demons refuse to let me go
The light in the tunnel I see is fading
My fire of life is burning low

I don't wanna be nothing
Time is ticking, I feel stranded
I don't wanna be nothing
Make it go away
Hate is growing inside of me
I don't wanna be nothing
I'm taking back what used to be mine
I don't wanna be nothing
Take me from this hell I'm in
I don't wanna be nothing
My whole life I've been the only enemy
I don't wanna be nothing
Hate is growing inside of me
I don't wanna be nothing
I'm taking back what used to be mine

Press my face in the dirt
see how long I can hold my breath
pour some salt in my wounds
I am just someone who doesn't
fit in your world

how can I smile with your gun to my head
how can I reach out when you're holding me back
I am just so tired of everyone who's trying to save me
just save yourself...

fade away
I wanna fade away

you give me your hand, I don't want it
I'll rather drown on my own
you try to give me relief, I don't need it
I'll rather put the gun to my head

bitterness is calling inside
I am already damned
the fire in my soul is slowly dying
you know destiny calls my name

fade away
I wanna fade away
fade away
I wanna fade away

Hmmm.. jäit tuo dokumentointi vähän vähiin kun tuo ihana naikkonen ilmaantu tuohon rinnalle...
joten "pienen" tauon jälkeen...

157 päivää jos oikein laskin...

28.10.2008