"I'm not gay."
"But you are."
Finn groaned, slamming his head against the table. Brittany sipped on her smoothie happily; Finn wondered how exactly he got talked into taking her to Jamba Juice.
"I like boobs, Britt. I'm not gay."
Brittany shrugged. "Everyone likes boobs. It's part of my Universal Boob Theory."
"What?" Finn asked, completely confused now. Brittany nodded slowly.
"Universal Boob Theory. Everyone has a mom. Moms have boobs. We get milk from those boobs. Therefore, all humans love boobs."
For once, Brittany kind of made sense. But Finn still didn't see how that applied to him being gay.