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Asm06. It was fun.
I'm still hallucinated from some combos, they were so amazing.

*Total sleeping time: 3h15min ^^ it's ok. I should sleep now.


The trip from Helsinki to Kuopio was exciting too. :> I wonder that I'm still here writing this shit. Sleeping in car while driving is quite thrilling too. I'm glad that tinippa drove us home from Juva.

*Angst Booster has overpowered my mind again.

Being Mingled is fine atm.
SUBURBAN TRIBE: "Shadows And Silhouettes"


I think the word what I'm searching for is 'closure'.
Writing to here in english looks so foolish, but it's easier to say things with different language.
I think the most important thing is to say those 'things' to yourself and understand those little but important things by that way example. Realize those things what have been overpowering your mind with depression and inefficiency. I'll take my mind back now.


*** "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

Since today, since I've read the book with sense of sensibility and concentration I've understanded more and more; The fox has been right all the time.
You should listen the fox.

- Je crois en renard



If you want to know someone you have to sacrifice something for it. 'Time' is usually the thing what people are sacrficing for something important, sometimes it can be big thing to get someones attention for a moment. Sometimes it's not. It's so related to that person, who's giving something for you. Giving is caring. Giving something from inside of you to someone is trust. Trust is so blind and by it the person is vulnerable albeit she/he had hard outer casing.
I think that I'm trying to say that cupidity is the thing that everyone should avoid. Don't be cruel or greed if you don't get back something what you've given to someone else (time etc.) in some form. I mean with that word 'form' those little pieces of me and my ego, little keys that open little doors from me and revealing hidden things about me.
All you need is time.
Tame me.


It's shame to notice how selfish I can be because while writing this, my mood has been changed and I can see things different way, but it's important that I see the shitty-side of my ego example like this.

Exhaustion is melting my brains.


This is not the song for this moment or for this mood or for these words.
::: Zen Café – Rakastele mua :::
But it has balls. I know it won't hit me like this after a week. ..or who knows.
If it would hit me like this, I would need something solid to my life, it can be a little thing which is related to this mood and situation.
The songs are changing because of shifting mood of mine. Solidness in some way can be the thing that would calm me down a bit. I don't want to calm down, I want to go with the flow :> I want to go against the flow too. I need something to hold me together. I think it will be the school then :P it's solid; 4 years of studying. FFS. Quite lame.


Remeber to listen music.


wtf I've had written ?

*01:41 -> <3

A deer dance, invitation to peace,
War staring you in the face, dressed in black.
With a helmet, fierce,
Trained and appropriate for the malcontents,
For the disproportioned malcontents,
The little boy smiled, it'll all be well,
The little boy smiled it'll all be well.



E13\24
emo boy.


**Hold me.

I'm unclean, a libertine
And every time you vent your spleen,
I seem to lose the power of speech,
Your slipping slowly from my reach.
You grow me like an evergreen,
You never see the lonely me at all.


*4 is my lucky number.

Temperature is 7,2 °C and it's July.

Haluaisin valokuvata. Olo on kuin narkilla; vittuuntuneen hapottunut, kun haluaisin tuntea kameran taas käsissäni.

Soitellaan.

Rien ne va plus dans l’univers du Petit Prince, sa rose est en train de dépérir.
Très inquiet, il décide de se rendre chez son ami le Renard, toujours de bon conseil.
En chemin, il s’arrête chez l’Allumeur de réverbère.
Ce dernier est bien triste : son feu a disparu ! Il ne peut plus allumer son réverbère…
mais que se passe-t-il donc ?
Il faut vraiment aller chez le Renard.

- Je crois au Renard.

"Si tu viens, par exemple, à quatre heures de l'après-midi, dès trois heures je commencerai d'être heureux. Plus l'heure avancera, plus je me sentirai heureux."

<3

Something good has granuled my head and it feels good to be in disorder. Waiting for it to assemble again by that good thing.

*^___^*