IRC-Galleria

Jocelyn: Sir Ulrick. What are you wearing to the ball tonight?
William: er... nothing...
Jocelyn: Well, we shall cause a sensation, for I shall dress to match.
William: [annoyed] Don't you ever get tired of putting clothes on?
Chaucer: [whispers] I think she's talking about taking them off, sir.
Jocelyn: A flower is only as good as its petals. Don't you agree?
William: A flower is good for nothing. You can't eat a flower, a flower can't keep your warm...
Jocelyn: And a rose never knocked a man off a horse either.
William: You're just a silly girl arn't you.
Jocelyn: Better a silly girl with a flower, than a silly man with a horse and a stick...
[she walks away]
Wat: It's called a lance... hello...



Adhemar: And you are?
William: Well, I am, um.
Adhemar: You've forgotten, or your name is Sir Um?
William: Ulrich von Lichtenstein from Gelderland.
Adhemar: Well, I'd forget as well, what a mouthful.



Iris: You're supposed to be the leading lady in your own life, for God's sake!

Iris: [Iris answers telephone] Hello?
Graham: So are you ever coming home?
Iris: Oh, my God, hi.
Graham: How's it going?
Iris: Great. I met a really nice guy.
Graham: See? And you said you'd never. What's he like?
Iris: He's really cute. I feel great when I'm with him, which is an entirely new experience. And he's about ninety years old.
Graham: Come on.
Iris: He's my next-door neighbor. Or Amanda's next-door neighbor. By the way you should pop over and meet her.
Graham: Yeah, I have, actually.
Iris: [Call waiting beeps] Oh, bugger. Call waiting. Can you hold for a sec? Hold on. I really wanna talk to you.
Graham: Sure.
Iris: [Iris switches to other call] Hello?
Amanda: Iris, hi, it's Amanda.
Iris: How are you? How's it going?
Amanda: Everything's great. How are you?
Iris: Oh, I'm loving it. Listen, can you hold for a sec? My brother's on the other line.
Amanda: Graham?
Iris: Yes. He said you met.
Amanda: Yes, we did meet. How is he?
Iris: Fine, I think. Can you just hold on for a sec?
Amanda: Sure.
Iris: [Iris switches calls] Okay. Hi, sorry. That was Amanda.
Graham: How'd she sound? How's she doing?
Iris: She just asked me how you are.
Graham: And what did you say?
Iris: I asked her to hold. Can I call you back?
Graham: I can hold while you speak to her.
Iris: Really?
Graham: Find out how she is.
Iris: Okay.
[Iris switches call]
Iris: My brother wants to know how you are.
Amanda: Can you tell him I'm good and that I'm just taking Charlie for a walk in the village. Um, what's he been up to? Did he say?
Iris: I'm not sure. Do you want me to ask him?
Amanda: Uh, sure.
Iris: Okay. Hold please.
[Iris switches call again]
Iris: I can't believe that you have had sex with the woman staying in my house!
Amanda: [Gasps] He told you that?
Iris: Oh, my God!
Amanda: Oh, my God!
Iris: Oh, my God! I thought I was talking to Graham! Can you just hold, please? I'm terribly sorry.
[Iris switches calls again]
Iris: I can't believe you had sex with Amanda! The one thing she asked me was, 'Are there any men in your town?', and I assured her that there were not. And then you meet her and immediately get into her knickers!
Amanda: Still me.
Iris: Bollocks! I must have lost him. Amanda, I am so sorry.
[Call waiting beeps]
Iris: Can I call you back?
Amanda: Sure.
Iris: Okay, bye.

Amanda: I need some peace and quiet... or whatever it is people go away for.



Amanda: Sex makes everything more complicated. Even not having it, because the not having it... makes it complicated.
Graham: That's why it's better to have it... some say.

Graham: Bad?
Amanda: Weird. Kissing a total stranger.
Graham: Really? I do it all the time.



Amanda: [after finding out they didnÂ’t have sex] We didn't? Why not?
Graham: Call me old fashioned, but I don't believe it to be appropriate to have sex with a woman who is unconcious.