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I'm just browsing Google for pictures of my country and, oh God, I'm getting homesick..

..and that information in my account window saying '+2,61 Euro' gets me depressed..

So me attending or not attending the gig of Manzana on Tuesday depends 100% on how much money I'm getting per week this month. If they really count so that I should get the 260e for the month, I should have nearly 90e for this week and I'm happy. If I get only the 65 or something, I'm lost and can't go to the gig :'( And I'm getting nervous that I still don't have the money on my account. I'm REALLY gonna need them, since now I have some 20e. At all. And from that I have to pay the bus, something to drink and a present for the Pikkujoulut..
But I'm so excited about that party!! x)) With the girls it's always fun, no matter what we do :-)

For some reason I'm totally excited about the Kaijakka gig on Sunday. No idea why. Concerning Bandage on that night, I'm starting to think 'I'm getting in for free or not at all'. I guess now it will depend on Lea. If she gets better mood and wants to go, I'm going. If she's not going and the VL doesn't work out, I guess I'll give up on Esse and come for Kaijakka only. For some reason I've been kind of sick of Esse lately and don't know why. Seriously, I like them, but lately I can't listen to them and I'm not even really keen on seeing them on stage.. I don't know. I'm sorry for that, it's actually, taken in the wider area, one of my favourite bands, I don't understand why I can't listen to them now.. And I'm pissed off, they don't play THAT often, why do I have to be in such a mood right at the time when they actually DO play?? A few weeks ago I couldn't wait for this gig.. :-( Alright, I will see. Keep fingers crossed for me that I get in to enjoy the gig..

..not in a long time something like that has made me cry..

http://cz.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

..when you know what it's like when 5e extra can save your a*s..

Regarding the unexpected Pikkujoulut invitation I'm pretty much gonna NEED the Sunday thing to work out, because at this moment to save or not to save 7e means hell of a difference..
Shit, couldn't the bus card be valid for one week more?? Three times Ylö-Tre and back, f*cking thirty Euros.. :-/ But yeah, all the events are worth coming to see. (Actually maybe except for the Bandage, but I've already promised to come.. And there's Kaijakka after that, so it wouldn't make any difference, anyway) I really hope Kaijakka won't be too late, but I don't really believe it.. If they were supposed to finish by eleven o'clock, they would have to start at nine at latest, and that's really not probable, for a strip club.. But OK, I will try to hold on until five in the morning and most probably get to bet on Monday at four in the afternoon.. It's hard, but it's my free decision.
And I thought I would have some rest and save some money over this week.. Well, apparently neiother of these. Getting back to the Monday sleep, it's actually OK, because as far as I remember.. No, I remember wrong, I don't have free afternoons for the rest of the week, there's Manzana on Tuesday.. Never mind, I will have a rest on Monday, Tuesday Tre again and Wednesday should be free as well as Thursday. And on Friday I will finally actually SLEEP as long as I want. Means most probably getting out of bed not before 2pm. Yahoo.

I just love the song Rusted Shut. Actually because of this one I've stayed up an hour after coming from the gig, just to download the videos and listen to the song.

Oho, I was taken into the macroreview of the new album from Britney Spears (is it out yet, anyway?).. I'm now listening to it.. By third song it's actually better than I expected. I'll probably put in my MP4 player and listen to it on the way and in Tampere today.

So far..

Womanizer.. Terribly corny, but OK. Quite what Britney has sounded like in the latest years..
Circus.. Basicly the same as Womanizer. Even sounds the same.
Out From Under.. Not bad, but still kind of corny for a ballad.
Kill The Lights.. Sounds pretty much the same as the first two song's. I'm getting bored..
Shattered Glass.. Woohoo, finally something that sounds somehow different. I could easily imagine this song arranged as the 90's pure Britney pop. It would probably sound better..
If U Seek Amy.. Kill me. Sounds like songs 1, 2 and 3.
Unusual You.. Sounds the same as previous songs, too, with bonus- BORING!!
-So far it seems to me that all the songs have exactly the same tempo and exactly the same rythm. Only differ in sound effects and the number of Britney's moans..
Blur.. Finally a tempo change.. OK, they probably should have stuck with the tempo before.. This is so.. Nothing..
Mmm Papi.. I think now I can define the words 'shit pop'. It's stupid.
Mannequin.. Sounds again the same as the first songs.. But those sound effects like 'stuck LP' (or whatever it might be called in English) are just too much, I'm getting pretty aanoyed with them..
Lace And Leather.. Woohoo, finally a song that has something like a melody..
My Baby.. Oh yes, last-but-one song, time for a typical Britney ballad- just piano and some wannabe dramatic voice.. Just TOO MUCH the same as soo many of what you've heard before..
Radar.. And again the same as the first songs.

No, I think I'm not putting this album in my MP4 player. I'd die. Seriously, I stayed interested over the first four songs and then it was just.. 'Shit.. Shit.. Shit..' Does 'shit' have to be a swear word?? It perfectly describes what I think about the album and I'm getting frustrated by the fact that I actually can't use it..

Alright, God bless Renoise tonight. Any bad the gig might come out, they will save my ears..

I guess I choose wrong ways to ask people for support.. But I can see that it's not only me who has changed. And that it's not only me who has turned the wrong way.

Back to basics..

Come on and show them
Your love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For your soul
My love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly..

'Even though my eyes are crying, you deserve a smile.'

Oho. I'm nearly shocked. On MS they published the article about Entiwne and they are also publishing the one about HCSS. Now I've done one about Europe going to the studio again, so I hope there's no doubt about publishing that..

But still I don't think I'm gonna stay in the team for long. I guess there are way too many things that go against my mind for me to stay.. Well, let's see if they're gonna convince me..

And the Valo gig after tomorrow. Yay.