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Seeing memories in my mind
Eyes closed, frozen shut
In there trying only to find
An image of warmth uncut

Ice on my face thawing
I see something red
Pair of eyes and a wing
Towards this I tread

As the memory stays
I again open my eyes,
Weap looking at ways
That beyond lids lies

I feel coldness as rain
I wish you could heal
My soul´s endless pain
Make the world unreal.

1. Kuvaile itseäsi yhdellä sanalla.
Väsynyt.

2. Kerro kaksi asiaa perheestäsi.
Ihmiset siinä on (1) vaikeita ja (2) Ei kovin anteliaita taloudellisesti.

3. Kolme asiaa, mitä olet tehnyt tänään.
Ollut töissä, syönyt snickerssejä ja ajanut 145 km/h

4. Neljä lempiväriäsi.
Musta, violetti, punainen, metalli.

5. Jokin viisikirjaiminen sana.
Morte

6. Biisi, jonka kuuntelit viimeksi.
Bal - Sagoth - The Dreamer In The Catacombs Of Ur

7. Kaksi asiaa, mitä teet seuraavaksi.
hmm... en ajattele kauheasti eteenpäin, mutta tota. Juon ja mietin elämääni.

8. Kolme asiaa, jotka ärsyttävät sinua.
Stereotyyppiteinit, teini-ihkuttajat ja epäkypsät ihmiset.

9. Neljä asiaa, joista olet onnellinen
Auts kauhean vaikea..... No kierrän tämän, premissinä olisi olla onnellinen ja sitä en ole.

10. Mainitse 5 kaveriasi nimeltä.
hmm.... Harri, Maaria, Jonna, Jenna, Mauno

11. Viimeinen sana, jonka sanoit.
....en ole moneen tuntiin sanonut mitään, ei voi muistaa.

12. Viikon kaksi parasta päivää.
Ne jolloin on lomaa kaikesta, viikon erityisellä päivän nimellä ei ole väliä.

13. Jotain, mitä sinulla on kolme.
Tuskallista ihmissuhdekokemusta.

14. Neljäs sana, joka tulee mieleesi.
miksi neljäs?
Kamera.

15. Mitä näet nyt yli viisi?
Aku ankan taskukirjoja

16. Yksi vaatekappale päälläsi.
Mustat sukat.

17. Jotain, mitä on kiva tehdä kaksin.
Jos nyt koitetaan pitää joku taso tässä, niin todetaan vaikka että halata (enkö ookin nyt sulonen)

18. Kolme turhaa asiaa elämässäsi
13 torahammas niittiä. Siinä on jo 3 + 10 ^^

19. Mitä teet neljän päivän päästä?
Tuskin mitään muuta kuin mitä en nyt tässä juuri tekisi.

20. Haasta neljä kaveriasi:
En. Kopioikoot jos tahtovat :D

If you see your world as it is
Then why do I see cruelty?
Is it me who is mistaken in bliss,
Feeling you breaking the frailty?

----

Apparently the skyscraper of morals has fallen in this plane of existence. I blame no one for practicing their ability to lie, to mislead or to deceive. They do what is right by them, I *apparently* can´t expect more than that.

Am I truly the only one who feels *some* empathy here? I expect very little of people today. But please. If I sacrifice a lot, I at least expect people show me some courtesy and be *honest* and keep_their_word. Why is this so much to ask? I can do it. I can´t be THAT unique.

I give you a piece of advice. If one intends to be evil, then follow the alignment of "lawful evil" and be very careful about giving your word. As obviously it is too difficult for you conceited, wretched humans to keep your word.

And no, this does not mean I´ve made a decision. I still need my time.

Obviously I should define humans as a species, who have a tendency of being deceitful. One could almost say that it is a "human" quality. Does this mean that I am not human? If we follow the before-stated rule then I am ,at least, inhuman. This thought makes me very woeful, sad.

I sigh and costantly feel pain in this world created for us. This is my way of throwing my thoughts into the wind. Understand that.... I feel no anger, no bitterness.... I was always right. And still I feel disappointment.

Hope is a dangerous thing. It can drive a man to have faith. To believe in the future. It creates a somewhat intact world, which will once again be brought down by a cataclysm of pain and misfortune. This is a rule that has almost no exceptions. Almost. Still, so far such exceptions have successfully eluded my path. Therefore, I do not believe in such miracles. Until hope reaches me. Hope would render me potentially vulnerable to more misery. Do I really need it?

Blutengel - Die With You

"You do everything for me
Protect me from the shadows
You hold me when I´m falling
Chase all the bad dreams away

You hear me when I´m calling you
Wash away my tears
My blood is poisoned
My soul is aching
I´ll die for you once more

But once you hurt me
And I can´t forget the pain
The razorblades inside my soul
Inside my soul

I try to forget you
I try to love you
But I hurt you all the time
I can´t forget you
I´m afraid to touch you
And I always see you cry.

Let me die
I could die with you again
Let me die
I could die in your arms again
Let me die with you."

----

What is the point of being a werewolf in the night if the moon no longer shines?

Listaa seitsemän laulua, joista tällä hetkellä pidät. Genrellä ja sanoilla ei ole väliä, eikä haittaa vaikka laulu ei edes olisi mitenkään hyvä, kunhan itse nautit siitä. Kopioi nämä ohjeet omaan päiväkirjaasi/blogiisi/journaliisi niiden seitsemän laulun kanssa.

Blutengel - Die With You (still suffering remix)
Michael Hoenig - Attacked By Assassins
Killswitch Engage - The End Of A Heartache
Deathstars - Motherzone
Before The Dawn - Unbreakable
Theatre Of Tragedy - Automatic Lover
Klaus Badelt - Skull And Crossbones

Somehow suddenly the world feels... sort of empty. Hollow. I wonder why is that... could it be that finally my soul has hardened itself... I should perhaps hope that. But life has thaught me that there is always someone in this realm who can break it. Again.

Hmm no... when I re-think this.... not completely empty. I simply isolated myself for a moment a while back and it did me good... or at least I felt less pain, which is in fact quite an achievement in itself. Maybe I should consider doing so again... as the memories.... and the fears are reincarnating somewhere in the deepest recesses of my dark cold soul. They have no right to exist but they don´t care. And I am sorry about that.

"See their strength. See how easily you fall under their muscle and skill" - Jon Irenicus

Only in this case the strentgh is always spiritual.... mental strength. It flows strong in that being.

Unlike the stories may tell you, hell can be a cold place. Without any flaming fires, without their light and heat. It can be a world of ice and snow. With little to seek warmth from. A world filled with doubt. A world where the only things to stay up for are naiive dreams and fears that come from them. Imagine to wake up to this world. How would that be? Dare to stay there with me for a while?

"Vastaan seuraaviin kysymyksiin laulujen sanoilla/nimillä. Vastattuani haastan myös muutaman ystäväni mukaan."

1. Sukupuoli?
2. Mikä on suurin unelmasi?
3. Mitä inhoat?
4. Millanen fiilis sinulla on nyt?
5. Miten elämäsi sujuu ylipäätään?
6. Mistä asioista pidät?
7. Minne haluaisit matkustaa?
8. Mitä haluaisit sanoa ihastuksellesi/poika-/tyttöystävällesi?

---

1. Theatre Of Tragedy - The New Man
2. The Sins Of Thy Beloved - My Love
3. Before The Dawn - Alone
4. Michael Hoenig - Underdark
5. Pain - The Same Old Song
6. Ill Niño - Everything Beautiful
7. Jeremy Soule - Easthaven In Pieces
8. Type O Negative - Love You To Death

Haastan :
DirtyHarry
Diablonicus
Granfolm

When the pain no longer
Causes the light of day...
How can you grasp the reality
Of your world
Or of that owned by someone else?

Im glad it´s not so for me
Or not....
But I can´t change that
At least by any way
That I know of

One can always live clinging
To a hope of tommorrow
Of you.

Of..... you.