IRC-Galleria

I just misled you? What if I wasn't happy and pleased? What if all I really wanted to do was to get rid of this rotten life and start spending my eternity?

Would it make any difference? I doubt it. I can’t comfort myself by believing that you’d come and save me from myself. I’m of no importance to you. I’ve got to change things by myself – I’m truly and totally alone, isolated.

Or am I? Actually IÂ’m not good in pretending. My feelings are usually what they show. Even though I find myself hopelessly trapped in this old life of mine at this very moment, I know that going home and having time for myself heals me better than you ever could. And more, IÂ’ve started to understand that I am nor ever have been completely abandoned. I always have my Saviour by my side loving and caring for me. Where else could I place my hope for? ThereÂ’s nothing better that lasts in the long run. At least that IÂ’m starting to learn: no more substitutes for me, please!

In the end the fact is that despite of sometimes being upset and depressed, I am happy and pleased with everything I have and also with the knowledge that I don’t have the things I certainly don’t need in my life – though I must admit that I miss them almost desperately from time to time. And I’m not envious of what you or anyone else has – I know that everybody has their own pains to carry, too.

No, I did not mislead you. You may feel safe for meÂ… whether it matters or not =)