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That little guy with the guitar is my new idol.
fuck you Gerard Way, fuck you Adam Lambert, I'm gonna marry Brian D'Addario when he grows up. Yes, when he grows up.

Tomorrow we're headed to London.
An epic gig trip ahead!

See you again, Green Day!

A good while since the last update.

Green Day was great as always, it was one of the best days of my life.
We all had some great moments, especially Alex, as that fucker got on stage.
I'm insanely happy for him, he deserved it probably more than anyone.

I cried like a little bitch during few songs.
Wake me up pretty much killed me and crushed my every braincell in to a good stormy pool of emotions.
Took me a couple of days to get over it.

I had a week off from school last week, I wasn't being productive at all.
It felt good. We've been just chilling and having fun.
It feels really good to be able to be friends with Alex again.
I naturally have a good bunch of issues with the situation still, but I'm doing a lot better. I'm pretty happy in where I am right now, and I don't see a reason why it should change in any direction any time soon.
Maybe in few months or in a year or so I can continue with my marriage, but there's absolutely no hurry.
I consider myself happy right now.

Today we went to get new appointments from Bound Tattoo.
She's gonna make us our Green Day tattoos.
That's one other reason why I know Alex is gonna stay in my life, he probably wouldn't wanna get matching tattoos with me if he hated me / knew I'm gonna maybe hate him and never want to see him some day. I doubt it, so I have no fear.
Also Green Day, finally!


The day after tomorrow we're gonna fly to London.
We'll spend three nights there, and on Saturday we're gonna see Green Day live for the third time.
I'm really happy to go with Alex and Laura. Those are the two people who I really wanna experience this with.
Wembley Stadium sounds huge and feels awesome to know we're going there

I'm gonna be working in the UFF again, starting from next Monday.
I'm looking forward for that, too, as I might maybe be able to get a job some time in the next four months or so.
That again would make my life a lot easier.
When it's financially easier, I get to do a lot more of the stuff I really wanna do, like maybe start saving up for going to the States.

After a month in the UFF we're going to France. Another place I've never been in, so I'm happy to go there too.

Next summer we're planning on going to Berlin.
A lot of different bands and artists are putting out their new albums this fall, so the european tour is most likely gonna happen some time next summer.
We're considering more countries and more bands / artists. We've got good time to save up for that, and we can finish our plans when ever the tour dates are announced.
Jimmy Eat World would be nice to see, finally (no hope when it comes to getting them in Finland...).
I don't mind travelling, either.
There's so much in the world to see and I've only gotten a little taste of it so far.
It's like taking a tattoo.
Did it once and I can't get enough.

I have so many emotions going on right now.
The storm started yesterday when Green Day took the stage and it hasn't passed yet.
It started all ovet again in the second I woke up this morning.
I'm in the brink of tears all the time.
I love and hate the fact that music (especially live music) brings all of my emotions from overwhelming happiness to the deepest sorrow and despair in to surface, and I can't stop thinking about things and feeling pain and joy at the same time.

I hope this was another tuning point.
I don't know in what direction, but it needs to be a turning point somehow.

Let me outta this dream
Everywhere that I go, I see another memory
And the places we used to know, theyÂ’re always there to haunt me
I walk around and I feel so lost and lonely
You're everything I want
But you donÂ’t want me

I canÂ’t turn this around
I keep running into walls that I canÂ’t break down
I say I just wander around
With my eyes wide shut because of you

IÂ’m a sleepwalker

Remember how we were untouchable?
Remember how nothing could take it away from us?

I do. I remember.

This is completely new information to me. O__O

Probably not, but worth a shot.