She have standed you many years now and I think that it haven't been worth it! Face it: you can't make her happy! From this on you are nothing, but just friends. And if you hurt her again just one more time, I will finish your friendship once and for all! Do not test me.. And by the way: you should cancel her travelticket because she is not coming with you. This was her wish. So don't write or call, just do it. Thank you.