IRC-Galleria

When I go to sleep, I forget the pain... but instead of feeling it, or remebering it, I can see it... I can see you....
You're haunting my dreams, killing me with pain. Will you ever give up, and just let me be.... You are tearing me apart, little by little. In the inside all I can feel is pain, pain that dosen't hurt anymore, it just is there. And all I want is just to sleep, sleep and forget all pain and feel nothing... why can't you give me that....Will you let me sleep if I give you my body, my soul... all of it to you....
What do you want?
Torturing me like this, breaking me.... do you want me to broke like glass and disappear....
If that is all... I can give it to you... just let me sleep .... please.... that's all I'm asking....
And with that I fall asleep... No pain, no you, no nothing. Only the empty darkness... I can't feel anything and still it is killing me.
Here's nothing, I'm numb in this darkness and feeling empty... no more pain... And just then I understand something... That pain... It was something that I need... It was something beautyful from you... it was love.
I also undertand something else... That I love you... and I miss all the pain that love gives. I love you, and you love me... so why can't we just love... not hate...
I'm starting to miss the ache in my heart, in my head, in my whole body, deep in my bones. I miss you. Please, I wanna come back, I wanna wake up from this sleep, this emotionless sleep, from this numb and empty, kind of, feeling, and feel the pain again, the pain of love.
I slightly open my eyes and I see you, or your image. You're sitting next to my not so numb body anymore... I can feel it...I can feel the pain... I love it, I love all of it. I love this feeling, this pain that you give me.
But I know that you are just another image, illusion, but still I wish to touch you. I reach my hand and feel the tears come up to my eyes, and when I tought my hand was going to perforate your image, I felt it, I felt the warm of your cheek. You smile, a little, and put your hand on mine... For a few short second we look each other... to me, it's eternity.... And then you reach down and cup my face, you kiss me, and you kiss me again, now without stopping. I clung onto you like I was afraid of that you will vanish if I don't keep you there. You lie down on top of me, your foots between my scattered ones. You broke the kiss, I pant lightly, without opening my eyes. I feel how you watch every move I make, me afraid to open my eyes and see only emptiness. Then I hear your voice... " please... open your eyes." Your voice is low, almost invisible, but I can hear you. I slowly open my eyes and see you with worried smile on your face... You're caress my hair and I smile a little... All pain is gone, only this odd warm feeleng.
But even if felt all warm...I'm still as cold as ice, my skin is like snow and I'm strarting to feel numb again. My eyelids are heavy and so is my breathing. I reach my hand to you again, but on the midway I lost all my strenght and my hand starts to fall down. You never let go of my sun kissed hair. My body won't move. It's numb... My eyes slits shut... can't open them, breathing is hard, painless, but hard. I feel something to fall on my face, it's wet, just like a raindrop... another one. 'are you crying'. I hear your sobs. I feel how you put your head on my chest. I open my mouth to speak ... "...I...I feel....all cold...". I feel your grip on my hair tighten. " I love you, I love you so damn much, so much that it hurts..." It's hard, but I force my hands around your musculary body... Tears are flowing down on my face. "meh..too....I'm...feeling sleepy..." You lift your head and kiss softly my forehead and then put your own against it. I can't feel the warm of your touches anymore... I can't feel my heart anymore... I feel how the all blood runs out of my organs and oxygens ends of my lungs... I'm in darkness again... no pain... no nothing... and then I can see light... I'm free...
'I'm finally free'
THE END