On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for
***
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day.
During that time we regret
that you will be unbearable.
***
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel, across
from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery
where famous Russian and Soviet
composers, artists, and writers
are buried daily, except Thursday.
***
Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking
***
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site
that people of different sex, for instance, men and women,
live together in one tent unless they are married
with each other for that purpose.
***
In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please.
If you are not person to do such thing is,
please not to read notis.
***
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists
***
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies,
leave your clothes here
and spend the afternoon
having a good time.
***
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours!
We guarantee no miscarriages.
***
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today - no ice cream.
***
In the window of a Swedish furrier:
Fur coats made for ladies
from their own skin
***
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage
of the chambermaid
***
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested
not to have children in the bar
***
In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women
and other diseases
***
From a Japanese information booklet
about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates:
If you want just condition of warm
in your room,
please control yourself.
***
Italian Hotel Brochure:
This hotel is renowned
for its piece and solitude.
In fact,crowds from all over the world
flock here to enjoy its solitude.
***
On a Chinese menu:
Special cocktails
for women with nuts
***
Outside a country shop:
We buy junk and sell antiques
***
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride
on your own ass?
***
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and
send them in all directions
***
On the faucet in a Finnish washroom:
To stop the drip, turn cock to right