IRC-Galleria

It's been unimaginably difficult to try to live by me, for me, and to think for myself. I wonder how you managed. If you ever did.

Whenever I go through your blogs, I feel like I'm looking directly at my soul. And through yours aswell.

Maybe you're with me. I'd like to believe that, and not some fairytale.
Not heaven or hell, you never wanted either, you just wanted peace.
You deserved more than peace.

It's a burden to live with my own thoughts. I hope I'm able to share my thoughts with someone. Or here if all else fails.

We haven't talked much, huh.

After almost 10 years of you... gone isn't the right word. You're not gone. Maybe you're right next to me. But gone? You will never unexist in my heart.

Almost a decade.
You would've been 30 years. IMAGINE. YOU. THIRTY. Yeah it's hard for even me to imagine.
And me, I'm turning 18 soon. Weird to even recognise. Didn't think I'd even turn 16.

I'm getting tattoos in your honour. You'd hate me for that for sure.
But I want to have you close to me forever.

I need you.

Oh the times I prayed for someone who could fulfill my wishes.
The nights I cried wishing you never moved. The days I couldn't get up from my bed because I knew once I checked your room you wouldn't be there.
Nothing was.
Everything that reminded me of you wasn't there. The few things I have- are not enough. Nothing will ever be enough to remind me of you, nothing will ever bring me the joy of hearing your voice again, nothing will ever.
I just have to live and reminisce.

Haven´t thought about you in a while.
Everytime I look at you I feel my soul crumble down to sand.
Yet every single time you make me smile.
I remember your existance,

I remember you.