IRC-Galleria

"He shows up to challenge you when you have just done something great and are worn down.


You have just been rewarded with your Masters Degree in Cancer Research. In ten minutes you are going to have an interview to get the job of a lifetime with a six digit salary. You'll be able to pay off your student loans no problem. You flip on the TV right before you leave and what do you see? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK has just found the cure for cancer.


It's 1997 and you're downloading Pokemon porn on your 56k modem. Oh boy, this zip file full of Misty nudes only has 10 minutes left. You've been waiting six hours for this. When the file gets to 99.9%, you start unzipping your pants and are getting ready for the fap of your life. At that moment, guess who picks up the phone and disconnects you? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.


It's the launch of the Wii, I've been camped outside the store since 6pm yesterday evening with a folding chair and my DS to get a good spot in the line. The temperature is low man, like water mains freezing and pipes bursting. Some of us fear they may even close the store if the staff can't get in, but we keep high spirits anyway and sing the pokemon theme song. Finally the store opens the next morning, we survived the cold of the night. But just as I get inside the store guess who I see walking out with a gaggle of bitches clearing out all the Wiis to his car? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.


So there I was, working at a horrible job in the cafeteria. It was a few days before Thanksgiving but they were serving Thanksgiving dinner. I had a horrible day at work. People spilled smoothies on me, my boss was giving me shit, and my ex-girlfriend was around so I had to dodge her like the motherfuckin plague. Anyway, I punch out of work and get on line to get some delicious turkey. I reach the front of the line but all the turkey was gone. I look to the right and who do I see with a huge fuckin pile of turkey. GARY MOTHERFUCKIN OAK


So, I was in Africa for safari so I gtfo of civilization. I'm wandering around, fantasizing about loli, when there's this LION. There's a car about 100 meters in the distance, so I run like crap. Motherfucking lion is faster though, tearing at my legs and back. Bloodied and broken, I crawl the last few inches to the car, dragging myself in. Breathing a sigh of relief, I look over to the driver's seat. Guess who wants to battle? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK."