IRC-Galleria

what can i say...? i miss you. come back. i hate you. but i can't.

i don't want to be alone. still you leave me alone. many nights many times, many hours and seconds, i'm alone.

wondering where you are and what you think of me. then you come home, like this ice cold guy. nothing has bothered you, nothing has troubled you. (i know this in my heart that you are just too damn proud to say it or show it) but thats how you act. and it hurts me, hurts me so much. that even when you come home, you have not missed me, you have not been thinking of me at all. you couldn't care less. all you care about is making your self a sandwich and playing your video games.

i tell my self not to care about you, i tell my self not to miss you and your warm hands, because they will not be there, again, this night is like the others. it is cold and alone, even with or without you.

thisi is enough, this is too much self pity, elina, go to bed. he will come home and hurt you with the ignorance or hurt you by not coming to your bed at all. yea i bet thats the one thats gonna happen to night. yesterday, i atleast got you in my bed. we slept in the same bed. we didnt talk about it, we didnt touch or hug or nothing, (like we usually do) but atleat you were there. it felt distant but it felt closer than in a week...... and yes, im crying when im writing this, this is emotional to me. but i will still stay waiting for you to come forward. im not gonna brake the ice you are. it is your turn coz it would be the first. good night now...