IRC-Galleria

# Voter writes down the name of the candidate they would most like to be President.

# Voter writes down the name of the party they most prefer.

# Both names are converted to numbers using the enigma code. These numbers are jumbled at random and added together.

# Voter then thinks of favorite flavor of ice-cream. If their original candidate likes the same flavour, add 1000 onto the previous score. If the candidate does not, deduct 1000 points. These are doubled if the voter has a high perception skill. If the candidate does not eat ice cream because he is a vegan, then a Green Party member has somehow got in and a new election must be called.

# Number is then divided by fifteen and rounded up to one decimal point.

# A +2 die of entanglement is thrown. This figure is multiplied by the first number the voter thought of.

# Voter chooses a card from the deck. If it is a black card, deduct 100. If it is a red card, add 150. If it is a joker, repeat previous step. Aces wild. If the current President is a Republican, all black cards are removed from deck before play.

# This final figure may be skewed by the electoral campaigns, which take the form of painted but otherwise identical monkeys flinging shit at each other.

# On voting day, voter inputs number into RepubliCom voting machine and collects fuel coupons.

# Final tallies are added together for each state, then ignored as the Electorial College decides it with a coin toss.