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"No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kid's with fake ID's." - Homer

"Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." - Homer

"Lisa, remember me as I am - filled with murderous rage." - Homer

"Hey, what's the big deal about going to some building every Sunday? I mean, isn't God everywhere?" - Homer

"Stupid risks make life worth living." - Homer

"I don't think anything I've ever done is wrong!" - Homer

"Remember to rebel against the authorities, kids!" = Homer

"Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand." - Homer

"I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?" - Homer

"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution too, all of lifes problems." - Homer