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I should write a lot for MS this month.. The reasons:
http://www.fanzone.fi/entwine/productinfo.cfm?tuotenumero=195758&lang=en and
http://www.fanzone.fi/entwine/productinfo.cfm?tuotenumero=199783&lang=en

I could actually afford them as my 'Christmas present' from the grandparents, but then there's no money left for phone credit.. I know I don't necessarily need 30e credit, but getting 30e plus another 30e extra for that.. That doesn't happen often.. I don't know.. Maybe I could ask for it as a Christmas present for mum.. Kind of vague as a present, but what can I do.. I know I wouldn't have to care about credit for a year, but still- give 30e at a time is just quite too much..
So far I should have 380kc from MS and for the strapshirt and CD I need.. Some 1300kc.. Hm. I could get 150 for the HIM report. And if the boss gets me the press pass (which I REALLY don't believe in), I'd be happy. OK, then only to find someone who would buy my ticket. Saving or not saving 37e makes a hell of a difference. I've already wasted 20e for a Lovex ticket because of one silly little girl, who promised me to buy it from me and on the gig day simply came to me and with a smile saying she'd got it herself already. And totally not understanding why I was pissed off.
Well, everything would be pretty much sorted out if the host family paid me also the week that I'm not with them (quite weird and I can't remember anything like that from the contract, but well, why not, right?), but I probably won't know until the money appear on my account. Or not.
..
Over the last two nights I slept surprisingly well. Or at least I can't remember any nightmares or waking up in the middle of the night. Just last night the mobile phone kept waking me up, the f*cking operator really has to count sent messages at three in the morning. :-/
..
And tomorrow home!! :-)

Hiiiiiii x)) I love my host-grandparents!! :D I just got a Christmas present- 40euros with "Buy what you like" x)) That will get me out of the financial shit for some time.. :D

The last night and day were hell. A serious one. But luckily it's alright. Not completely, I'm still worried to death, but I won't stand at the window any more, all shaking, with my mobile phone in my hand, shouting at it 'Ring, ring, RING!!' I cried all day long and Onni kept bringing me toys. Which paradoxely made me cry even more. A baby won't understand why I'm crying and that toys won't help me, but he shows me that he cares.. When he found some plush toys and teddy bears, he even showed me that I should cuddle them.. So nice.. It's amazing how babies can show their affection so easily and honestly..

Well, on the other hand, Saturday night was just amazing. It's so great to see that I've made someone happy.. :-)

Time to update..

16.1. White Flame- Kustaa
23.1. TAP- Kustaa
6.2. Entwine- Klubi
12.2. Lovex + White Flame + Emil Bulls- On The Rocks (Hki) -?
13.2. Renoise + Naughty Whisper + PSG- Vastavirtaklubi
15.2. Renoise + Heijaste + Monday- Klubi
20.2. Lovex- Amarillo (Hyvinkää) - ? (note: Play in Tampere!!)
28.2. Renoise + Apulanta- Tre-Talo
24.4. Entwine- Hotelli Iisoppi, Nokia

8.-11.7. Tammerfest, whatever there is

..still coming.. Considering it's something before half of December, it's quite a lot arranged allready. Only not for January, comparing January to February.. Hmm..
And another party at the first weekend of January, yay!! And a cruiseship in the spring and Provinssirock in June x))
And if the TWO 'projects' of mine work out in the spring, I'll be the happiest person ever :-)

And my T-shirt is finally here, yay! :-)

Hiiiiiiiiii, yes, that's what I was waiting for!!

6.2. Entwine, Klubi, Tampere

I have no idea why this made me even less into going to Backyard Babies the day after tomorrow.. Lea was free so we've planned to go out together, but at this point I'm only thinking if I should go to the gig or only go with her.. 22e is a lot of money and I'm not getting anything out of a review.. And it starts at 22:00, so we wouldn't meet before midnight anyway.. All the facts are telling me not to go, but for some reason I've still got this feeling that I would miss something if I go there.. Though I can't think of anything I could possibly really miss.. Hmm.. I guess I'll just arrive to her and go out right away, omit the gig.. Not 100% sure yet, but probably.. To save or not to save 22e makes a difference.

Yes, yes, yes, I'm getting money tomorrow, huiiiiiii! OK, I'm freaking out because of regular weekly pocket money, but still- I just can't wait to have SOMETHING again.
And the cinema tomorrow. I don't really think I'm getting much of the Finnish dubbing, but, well, let's see. the main point is Ville Valo's voice, anyway..
And I guess me going or not going to Klubi on Saturday will also depend on Lea's programme. If she wants to go out with me then, I will go. If not.. Well, I can't understand it.. I do want to see them, but there's something in me that says 'pointless.. pointless.. pointless..'
Renoise have a private show, so still no other programme so far.. Sh*t. And my T-shirt is still NOT here, grrrrrr..
It's actually come to my mind that I was in Tre four times last week, not three times. That's 40e for travelling ONLY, so no wonder I have nothing left of 65e..

Right.. I will just go to bed with my new addiction: http://www.hry.cz/free/pacmanadv :D

..and all the fans of the band Budulínek can kiss my ass. I really won't weep the geniality of lyrics about killing pigs with a chainsaw. If someone likes it, their problem. I don't. My problem. Full stop. Face it.

And everyone can kiss my a*s.

Bad day.

Wittu.

I'm seriously thinking about leaving out Backyard Babies this Saturday.. First, I don't have money, second, I totally don't feel like going there.. But again there's this feeling 'missing something'.. Well well.. I guess I will probably go if I don't find any decent second option. I do want to see them, but on the other hand I feel like there's no point for me of going there.. I don't know.. I'm definitely not staying at home, because that's the least acceptable thing to do. OK, let's see..

And no Manzana on Tuesday.. :-(

In continuation of the conversation between me and my mum last night I've been watching several advertisements at Youtube..

http://cz.youtube.com/watch?v=dpf2hsZGsJM

http://cz.youtube.com/watch?v=lGb7xTdO8k4
"Don't you wanna put her in the baby seat?" - "Oh, it's just around the corner.."
"Are you ready even to pay such a price?"

http://cz.youtube.com/watch?v=Lgj-CU9ZR4g
"Will we be there on time?" - "Don't worry, I'll take it fast."
"Don't take decisions about others' lives.."

http://cz.youtube.com/watch?v=Lb5q_YYpxB0

This is not a commercial, but made me cry even more..
http://cz.youtube.com/watch?v=46AR-e7WE6k

Besides other they make me homesick. Make me miss the ones I love the most and suffer from not being with them..

F*cking money. Hopefully Veri will send me the money for the Norther album soon. At this moment 10 Euros is way too much for me to cope without. Or then if mum can send me something when she gets back home.. I will see.. If I just leave out the gig on Tuesday, I will be able to pay all the stuff on Sunday.. I actually hate the fact that lately I haven't been able to count how much I can spend and how much has to stay left. But- I have to ask Lea to check what time the gig at Sputnik really begins, because if it starts at eleven, there's no point of going there at all, when the last bus leaves at 23:10.. I will see. And I hate saying 'I will see'. I can't really count on money from MS, because it will be some 6e, if it was all during last month, which I'm not even sure about.. Sh*t.

Edit: Yeah, I'm getting some 3e for November. Even though I should get all the 6, because all the 4 articles were written in November. But since they were corrected A WEEK after they were submitted, they'll probably be counted as December. By the way- what's the f*cking point of publishing a NEWS article a WEEK after it was submitted?!?!?!?!

Yeah, I'm still waiting for the decision.. Is there any point for me of staying there? My nerves are worth more than 6e. The hell they ARE!! When I consider how much my nerves have been on the run only for the articles during November.. I just get pissed off even more.. Actually anytime I start thinking about MS I get pissed off. And that should mean anything..
So I guess I'm leaving after the report from HIM at Helldone. If they really say no in the end, I'm quitting right away.. And I'm not sure what I should ask Valo for- so that they want it and I get some money from it, or so that they simply say no and make it easier for me?
A considerable reason to stay are the tours in the spring. I really want to let people know about them and this is a good way, since it's an official website. But there's again this BUT- is there any point of staying because of this when I know that the boss doesn't want them? (at this point I'm forcing myself not to start swearing about the idiotic leadership again..) Seriously, with this the whole redaction team lost all the credits for me.

No, I won't talk about these things. Not now. Good night.

Edit/next day: Why do I even care?