IRC-Galleria

Jep jep, I'm looking forward to today's course :-) I haven't been learning anything for more than a month and I was quite missing that. And I like conversation lessons, I prefer speaking to writing and listening. And I need it like hell, I really need someone or something to get me start really speak Finnish. I haven't talked to the grandparents for some time and only brief communication in shops etc. doesn't help that much. But on the other hand, surprisingly ever since I came back to Finland after the Christmas, I've been feeling much more confident about speaking Finnish.. Weird.
The only bad thing is still the transport. If the course was an hour earlier, or not even that, I would have no problem to catch the bus at 20:05 and go to Lakiala all the way.. What can I do now..
And Friday, yay, a gig again! Even though only an acoustic one, but still :-) I suppose Lea will go with me. Hopefully.. Let's see.. I don't think she's ever seen White Flame, but well, it can always be interesting..

This is what I wrote back in the spring of 2006. Jesus, three years it's been.. I can't remember if I had someone of particular on my mind, but probably not. I think it came out of a momental mood and the first idea of the sentence "I couldn't resist those eyes"..

He lies!!

Crawling down here, torn apart;
I couldn't resist those eyes
Help me, 'cause everything's gone dark
Too dark
And everything's gone wrong
This is not the way I wanted it to be!
He lies!

Mummy, Daddy, get me out!
He could kill me if he tries
The once grown-up girl wants to shout
For help
And hide again under Mummy's skirt
This is not the way I wanted it to be!
He lies!

A small, sharp object on the ground
I touch it and it's cold as ice
A razorblade that I have found
He said
It would save me... Jesus, I'm bleeding!
This is not the way I wanted it to be!
He lies!

The blood is running way too fast
A girl is dying; Heaven, cry!
I feel like losing my consciousness
It's over
God damn you, liar!
This is not the way I wanted it to be!
He...

I can't believe my eyes. After more than two months this is gonna be the first time that I'm not going to Tampere for the whole week. But due to Saturday's work it's no wonder and actually better. I need some real rest. The past months have been exhausting. I don't say that a week will fix it, but it will help. And I need to finish the book by the 15th.

I'm gonna dance again, hiiiii!! :-)
It's not in Tre, but OK, at least it's close.. And not exactly what I was looking for, but looks interesting, too. But the point is that I was missing dancing so much! I guess the language course is ending at probably the same time as the dancing course.. Hmm.. Maybe after that I can try to find something else.. Or some real job.. But I guess not much opportunities will be there with my Finnish.. Well, we'll see..

It's cold!! Two nights ago -20, yesterday -15 and today -10 is just too cold for me. I thought I was crazy when I looked at the temperature-meter on Friday night and it showed -20, seriously.. Eeeeeeh, I want summer now!! Or at least I want to jump in time to two weeks later time. Or three weeks in ideal case. I feel like wasting time and missing things.
And yes, I'm still in Finland. And I will be here for a pretty long time.

I'm feeling like wasting time now. I need to speak, speak, speak. One or two sentences are enough but they need to be said. As soon as possible.

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you seem to have forgotten the words."

Beautiful and true.

Alright, so in the end I have actually overestimated the boss at MS. I expected that he won't like the report, but then I thought that I would be supposed to rewrite it MYSELF, not that he would change it in such a way that a different story comes out!! F*ck that. I didn't expect that within the "correction" of the article he'd turn my sentences in such a way that they get a totally different meaning, leave out half of the paragraphs, leave out the whole ending of the report and generally leave half of my thoughts out. It pisses me off, but I don't have enough strength to argue about that. And I don't believe he'd listen to me anyway.. I wrote it in the same way as I always used to write gig reports. And based on my gig reports I got this job, so why is a similar one suddenly all fucked up?? I should let go.
It's always like that- if someone doesn't understand and doesn't bother themselves to ask what I meant and simply claims me wrong, I lose all my will to explain and just walk away. I guess it would be better for me to really leave MS. If it's just among a few people, I don't have to give a sh*t. But this is a different case, here I "present myself" on a popular website with something I didn't write and don't like. They make grammar mistakes in the articles, they don't respect the way I put my thoughts there. And they make factic mistakes. Since the band KYPCK was formed in 1999, the name simply can't refer to the submarine tragedy in 2000. That's why I wrote "the name reminds me of", not "the name refers to", that's f*cking wrong!!
I'm still only waiting for spring and for the tours. At this point it's the only thing that is worth staying there for. I don't give a sh*t about MS, I don't wanna be there, but more than this I want to get some decent promotion for the guys. Or at least try for it.
Which has reminded me that I wanted to apply for a job at Rockshock. Hopefully they won't be so narrowminded and will be interested in new bands.

Wittu. Perfect beginning of the year, what's going wrong next?

I'm really very very VERY tired.. Why do I have to be the one who always stays awake when the others fall asleep? It's not that I'm complaining about someone else- I'm complaining about myself: I just won't sleep if I know the others are tired and need it. I need it, too, but I will still stay somehow awake (something I called "standby state" last night- basically sleeping with the eyes open). It's the feeling that I have to watch out while the others sleep. Even now when I'm sitting here in the hotel room (over the last two nights slept some 4 hours in total, with the two ngihts and days before spent in stress of leaving and sleepign 4 hours/day) and I could just close my eyes for a second and fall asleep- while mum is sleeping I just won't go to sleep. I feel I must stay awake and and wake her up so that we don't miss the gig tonight..
..and the eyelids are so heavy..
That was the reason why I played the billiard so badly last night- I was so tired that I couldn't hold the billiard cue tight enough to keep it in direction. 2 in the morning, having drunk three coffees within 3 hours (considering the fact that I usually don't drink coffee at all), tired as hell.. Knowing I was not going to sleep for another two nights. That was a really deep level of desperation..
I can't even keep on writing any more.. So then just a shower, then the gig (have to stay concentrated because of the press pass- if I didn't have to write a report about it, I wouldn't have to give a sh*t) and then.. I will see.. Probably bed, bed, BED! And no, I don't wanna go and see the host family wih mum tomorrow!! I don't care!! I just wanna have a rest, please.. :-(

Hiiiiiiii, good news of the day:

Manzana supporting Entwine at Klubi/Tre!! :-)

OK, apart from this, what gets me a bit depressed is the fact that I probably won't be able to see Lovex at On The Rocks (or where in Hki they're playing). And I'm actually finding out that I'm even missing White Flame on stage.. I'm really looking forward to the acoustic gig at Kustaa.