IRC-Galleria

Being alive is not a no-brainer to me. If everything have happened like the way it should happened (under those circumstances, not that i still feel that way), then I've been dead over a year already. But luckily, it didn't.

How the things would be if i died that day? How many of my "friends" would still remember me? Probably they just have gone over it and.. Yeah, continued their lives. Forgot. Some days, remember something like "she would love that song" or something. Don't deny it.

But if that never even happened? I bet i would be the same way like i used to. A boozer bitch who didn't care about anyone's feelings.
I would probably still hurt myself in both ways, physically and mentally, with knives, razors, alcohol and men.

So, whatever my family, friends or other people may say, i think that was a lucky thing to happen. Without that, i never could understand what is or was wrong with me or company i choosed.

After that, I've been living my life totally different way i used to and had so many new experiences and friends and found love, him, who'll stay beside me and at least tries to understand me and my bad days :))
So, THANK YOU, that somebody up there (i'm not talking about that shitty "god" here) for letting me live a while longer! I'll take this as a new chance to decide about the way of my life on my own.

Yes, that's why i'm thankful and happy to be able to breath, to feel, to see, to touch and to love :)

ALL of you should be, 'cause tomorrow you could be dead!!