IRC-Galleria

Marsalkka

Marsalkka

ajatus virtaa lima kalvoilla

Selaa blogimerkintöjä

#1 Moses Takes 'Shrooms, Shits Out Ten Commandments

The Accomplishment:

There's plenty of controversy surrounding certain parts of the Bible, (where are the dinosaurs?), but most can agree that the Ten Commandments make some good points: killing is wrong, stealing is wrong, and weekends are for sleeping.

When the whole world was presumably murdering whoever they wanted and coveting the shit out of anything that crossed their paths, Moses was the one who God deemed suitable enough to pass his commandments onto. So, one day in... Biblical times, an audience gathered and politely waited while Moses met with God on the top of Mount Sinai to discuss the rules that we still use today, (or are, at the very least, aware of).

The Drug:

Mushrooms.

Drugs weren't invented yesterday, you know. In fact, they grow right up out of the ground, all on their own. The area surrounding Mt Sinai, for example, was home to two common psychedelic drugs and, according to a 2008 Time and Mind article written by Benny Shanon, a professor at Jerusalem's Hebrew University, psychedelic mushrooms and other mind-altering substances played a huge role in the religious rites of Israelites during Biblical times. (http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/960403.html)


While it would be irresponsible of us to assume Moses was drugged up based solely on the fact that drugs were both acceptable and available at the time, Professor Shanon maintains that the scene described in Exodus, (involving blaring trumpets, bright lighting and thunder), fits the "classic imaginings of people on drugs" and further that "the seeing of light [that occurs in hallucinations] is accompanied by profound religious and spiritual feelings."

Why It Makes Sense:

The evidence isn't completely conclusive, but a closer look at our choices leads to a fairly obvious answer. Either:

1. God visited Moses and decided that he was the perfect spokesman for his commandments, (despite Moses's total lack of previous experience in the supernatural-commandment-liaison department), and all of Moses's friends and family believed him when he said "God spoke to me" and instantly stopped coveting shit.

Or

2. A group of extremely bored Israelites ate a bunch of easily-accessible mushrooms and imagined a bunch of crazy shit.
"Is anybody else freaking out a little bit?"

It was thousands of years ago. No Internet, no TV. There wasn't much to do other than eat plants, particularly when those plants led to conversations with God. It doesn't take a college professor to figure this one out, (although, technically, it did this time).

Still, this is a pretty huge deal. Everyone wants to say how dangerous it is to use psychedelic drugs, but Moses takes a few and comes up with a set of morally sound rules that have held up for thousands of years and, for some, serves as a reason not to murder the guy in front of you who's taking an annoyingly long time at the ATM.

Before You Go Trying It...

There's a really good chance that eating random mushrooms you find on the ground will kill your ass.

Also, we don't think we're speaking out of turn here when we point out how sloppy and half-assed the Ten Commandments are. If you're going to create a system of unchangeable rules meant to govern large groups of people, you might want to think "manual" instead of a "grocery list."
"We should be good with just this, right guys?"

Something with a FAQ page at least. "What about murdering in self defense? And what if your neighbor's wife is really hot? Do two Commandments cancel each other out? Can I murder my hot neighbor's stupid husband?"

Like most stoners (take for instance the ones in Pineapple Express, a movie you should totally see), Moses was probably too lazy to do all that extra work so he just sort of summarized, but the rest of us can agree that it would've been nice to have those answers.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_16532_the-5-greatest-things-ever-accomplished-while-high_p2.html#ixzz1E5coSGwy

No siis jumalauta.Tiistai 15.02.2011 21:38

Emmää muuta pysty sanoo, on tää niin helvetin huikee. Siis dj lyö biitin soimaan ja tää kaveri IMPROVISOI.





Mää haluan ton äijän suameen.
Unessa mä kanssas ratsastan yhdessä salamaponilla ja se sanoo ihahhaa kun me pussaillaan <3

http://www.youtube.com/watch/?v=DSxtPv5ALEI&hd=1

Tää on multa omistettu kaikille teille ihguil tytöil joihin mää ny oon täällä tutustunu etenki teille:

@SEKSIVAU
@VALEJUMALA
@tunturipökäle
@mehukortti
@Serina-
@öfedxlz
@Trinket
@PILS

ja kaikille jotka ny unohdin kyllä tiedätte ketkä ootte mun semmosii höpönassui <3

tässä on teille ystävänpäivän kunniaks ja suruks vähä sitä kuuluisaa discoo, kiitokset voi suoraan antaa herralle nimeltä @tunturipökäle.


Muhun vetoo ton discobiitin lisäks toi kuvan aitous, siinä on kyllä nainen niiiin huumeissa ettei rajaa, ymmärtäähän sen ettei tämmöstä mahtavuutta pysty selvinpäin tekeen.
Tässä maassa on kyä kaks asiaa jotka on todella perseestä. Suomiräp ja Kokoomuspuolue.

Siis siinä on puolue joka ei oo koskaan pitäny sanaansa vaan aina kussu äänestäjiensä muroihin ja silti keskustan ohella suurimmat kannatuslukemat? Äänestäisitte ny vittu vaikka mikki hiirtä ennenku kokoomusta..

Mulla onkin tässä kuva perusnormaalista kokoomuksen äänestäjästä:


"Minulla on mielipide, derp!"


Ja kaiken maailman avautumiset voitte suoraan tunkee hanuriinne, ne ei kiinnosta mua vittuakaan ja tiedätte itekki että tää kaikki on totta.

Jumalauta.Maanantai 14.02.2011 10:21

Mun laajakuva ikkunasta tulee jotain ihan uskomattoman hienoo ohjelmaa, oikeesti kannattaa tsekata joskus tää tulee joka aamu ulos, kutsutaan auringonnousuks.

ChilaxationMaanantai 14.02.2011 00:27

Tää on kyä saatana niin helmi että on pakko jakaa, propsit hälle joka tän ekana laitto. (en muista nikkiäsi)

Sulje muut musiikit.

Avaa uuteen välilehteen JOKAINEN näistä:

http://www.youtuberepeat.com/watch/?v=DIx3aMRDUL4
http://www.youtuberepeat.com/watch/?v=HMnrl0tmd3k
http://www.rainymood.com/

Ai mitä vittua, kuinka voikin olla näin chilli? :D

Kasd.Lauantai 12.02.2011 10:33

Sehän tuleekin tän viikonlopun jälkee 4 kuukautta absolutismia täyteen. Tekee höpöö.

METALLICAAAA!!Lauantai 12.02.2011 07:56

VITTU NIILLÄ ON KOVA BIISI SE ENTER THE SANDMAN.




Eiku ainii ei se ollukkaa niiden biisi, ne vaan ryösti sen.

VÄHÄX OOTTE HEI IHGUI!!111Perjantai 11.02.2011 23:57

JA MÄ IHAILEN TEITÄ SALAA *TIRSKKK****<3

"Welp, looks like we've angered the Hellephant again. Water? Ha ha ha! What the fuck, Steve?! Is this your first day? No. Bill, you break out the iron cruciforms. Gus, start stabbing the hoses into virgins. Carl, I'm so sorry -- you're on Batchild patrol."

This is actually an undoctored picture of a fire at a chemical factory in the Netherlands. It took 150 firefighters to put out the flames, and while the plant burned completely to the ground, no injuries were recorded despite the toxic fumes. Though surrounding citizens were warned to stay inside to avoid possible respiratory infections and rampaging Balrogs.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/8-real-photographs-that-prove-hell-exists-earth/#ixzz1DeLxKUHV