One day, you will get married
That day will be July 5th, 2014
And it's gonna be a day to remember
You're gonna get married in 2014, on July 5th
Who could have foreseen
I'll tell you who
I'll tell you who
It was me
Well it came to me in this funny dream
One afternoon at a quarter past three
There I was in the hammock
Having a snooze cruise
The wedding was held in a two horse town
But one horse was remarkably down
So you did your best to reverse that frown
But it did not work because you're not a horse whisperer
And you prayed to the G-man for a sunny day
But instead he gave you a month of rain
And one of your bridesmaids never even came
Because she didn't like rain
You glanced at all your wedding guests
And you saw uncle Derek in a wedding dress
And you guessed he must've be in some distress
And he was
Your auntie Maureen, she had a dodgy back
And she collapsed whilst dancing to a Meat Loaf track
Performed by a Meat Loaf tribute act called Malt Loaf
The lady priest who gave you away
She turned out to be a little bit gay
And she took quite a shining to granny Jane
Who was a little bit scared
And the best man's speech, it went a bit wrong
As the best man dressed as a giant croissant
And decided to deliver the whole thing in song
But he could not sing and it was bit embarrassing
Well you're gonna get married in 2014, on July 5th
Who could have foreseen
I'll tell you who
I'll tell you who
It was me
As the moment approached you got a bit spooked
So your dad got you some Petits Filous
To remind you of your misspent youth
That you once had
You looked upon your wedding guests
And you heard your heart loud inside your chest
As you thought of your true love
Who was not there
You went on honeymoon, you made some kids
One was called Billy and one was called Whizz
And then you lived your life
You lived your life
And then you died