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I'm so excited and thrilled
yeah on 14-12 I was at amazing gig of IAMX in Prague, it was all so great, so many memories but
like two weeks ago I started to be keen on the movie Twilight more than when I first heard about it
and I got an unpredictible chance to see it and I liked it, yeah, for many people it can be boring, romance, cliché, for me it wasn't
and so I found a book on the internet and stated to read and I'm so into it
like living in my own dream when I'm reading it and it is much better than the movie but anyway I'm glad I've seen the movie first, now I have no problems to see the main characters while I'm reading their story
now I'm in the second book, New Moon and I guess I'm like Bella, forgetting to breath but only when I'm reading it :)

... we start a revolution
:D no I'm not going to see 30stm, just "ordinary" IAMX, can't wait and at the same time I'm nervous and scared like hell
and only 3 days of school and bye bye this year

just normal life, soon Christmas, some of my exams done, most of them ahead of me but this all in January
listening to Chisu and waiting for IAMX gig in Prague which is going to be full of new unheard songs
looking forward New Year's Eve and at the same time I'm so damn scared of it
and just wanting to be a year older and have everything behind me (school, work, possible relationship, Czech)...

I hate depressions and helplessness but I am in very deep depressions right now, or depressions, just You know that typical, why am I here, it's useless, I haven't done anything what I can be proud of, I will never reach it etc... but this time it lasts longer than usually and I'm really in deep sorrow unable to cry and barely to breath :(

and the best med for my state of mind is Iconcrash, I'm listening the whole aftrenoon to those 5 songs and can't get enough, it's like a drug which helps You get through rough time

Kick!!!!!!!! and Speeed!!!!!! are amazing!

quote: "he got completely lost in the chewing gum" ... :D :D :D

oki, yesterday I've been to play billiards and I loved it (I was good in it, and it was my first time) but I'm confused since I got back to school (aka 6/10).
Tom acts like okey, fine, I can't be more than a great friend so I don't wanna be a friend anymore, it seems to me. He's fine, okey, we talk more then ever but still I feel like if I can't be his gf, it's useless for him to have me as a friend. And also another person my friend wanted to give him my phone number, I said fine because he has been to Skandinavia and so we would have something to talk about plus I love to get to know new people but then he told her that if I'm not single, he doesn't want to know me... okey now I feel like I'm not even worth for anyone as a friend even... but it's because those people are from Czech, Czech people have one or two friends and they don't need anyone else and if somebody is taken and they'd like to be just friends with him/her, they rather cancel it like if 'taken' would be a spell. HATE IT! In this Spaniards are much better and I miss it but whatever.
And I need a life but how, when? I dunno, I miss my sweetie in Finland and it's not the best time of the year for me now...+

Just listening: Automatic Eye - Scarecrow (loveee it), they help me a looot right now (or I'd be in depression)

Plus I have been to elections

quote: "I should go and find myself before I go and ruin someone else"

Jenni Vartiainen - reminds me of Grays
IAMX - my time in London
The Rasmus new album Black Roses - walking through autumn Helsinki

yeah, long time ago (aka a week) I came back from UK and Finland, back to reality.
Well, it's amazing to be back home, to do nothing and just relax, it really keeps me alive but on the other hand, I miss London, Hanni, Suomi and people in there, everything.
And I'm desperately trying to take back my fault and find that person but no success, instead I found someone else who me and Mikka said: "These boys are good for watching but not for living!" (about those bad boys)
Reminds me to write some emails.
And I got back to my work, how much I missed it, these translation and web design, I can't wait to change my MySpace into some lovely IAMX theme, yay, because I can't miss their gig in Prague.
They are too precious to me to miss them.
On Monday I start my school again. I'm not looking forward to it but I miss my friends in that city and school so that's the only reason why I can't wait to get back plus it's the final year, everything will fly pretty fast and finally it will be over...
then, since Tavastia night last Friday, I decided (by many circumstances) that I need to live in Helsinki, I always love and miss that city and its people and I don't want to live in Czech so... now to find the way how to make it work (honestly I do not want to marry a millionaire, even though he's Finn :D).
take care You all and many thanks to my finnish family again, friends and one a bit closer person than them all :)

On Saturday it was really my last time, it was sad and hard, but it was.
When I first came, I almost hated London, but throgh the time I fell in love with this city and its people. Not as much as with Helsinki, but big enough to make me cry when I was saying goodbye.

And here in St Albans for the first time, I really hated, the girl really doesn´t know how to make my stay here ´better´, I never say this even as a joke, but I said too many times ´kill her´ because I´ve enough of her.

It was always like this, once in a week, I could go to London, being free no problems, no thoughts, just me, London and some friends and especially Hanni. I love You for how You have been to me. There was noone else who could make me feel better in those hard times and so I almost cried (okey, I cry now) when we say goodbye. You know, it will never bet he same, this was a big part of my life which gone to waste, the only light moments were with You.
Never forget the last time sitting on the bus, it felt sooo lovely and I appreciate how loving person You are, and wonder how cold I can be (but not down there deep inside).

Guess that´s all about my London experience. I´ll never forget and get back asap.