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Copypasteen nyt tänne tollasen, jonka kirjotin blogiin, kun ei jaksa suomeks kääntää... Ei edes ole tarinan laajin versio, tästä puuttuu ainakin yks välikohtaus vielä, mutta enempää detaljia ei jaksanut nyt vääntää, tästä saa kyllä ihan riittävän kuvan siitä, miten absurdi koko ilta oli. Eli siis näin meillä taas tänään:

It's not every day you get to throw a housewarming party that later on turns into the last party you'll ever have in the new apartment... The decision to move out ASAP was made at 12:30 am on saturday (actually it was technically sunday already). And by 6:30pm on sunday the last moving van was pulling up to my mom's. But lets go back to where it all began...

The day before yesterday I was hosting a housewarming party for 12 of my friends in my new, fancy apartment, which I at the time was sharing with a flatmate, let's call him Mr X for now. I had had a busy day, preparing for the party and somewhere between preparations managing to go to see an exhibition with a friend. The guests started arriving at 6pm. The party was really good, we had good food and even better drinks. So everybody was having fun. And allthough Mr X was not really invited to the party, knowing that he had a rather limited social life, I said that he could stay home if he wanted to. As me and my guests were in the kitchen and my room, Mr X talked with some of my friends and had some punch and some red wine (or a lot, as we all soon found out). After a while some people headed home and 8 of us (including me) stayed behind to chat and just to sit around. Then as we all were sitting in my room just hanging out and listening to music and laughing and talking, Mr X decides to "open up".

So Mr X starts telling that he want to be honest and that he feels that he can tell me anything and he tells me that "oh, by the way I lent that red outfit thing you have to my girlfriend and we had sex while she was wearing it" - just like that, like that was normal or something. The pervert. And I still don't know how I managed to keep my calm as I was quite enraged after that confession. But I still managed to stay quite calm and did not raise my voice. I said to Mr X that this is definitely NOT acceptable behaviour and we will talk about this at great length later and I don't know if I can continue on living like this and that he would of course have to pay for a new similar outfit because there was no way in hell, that I would've taken the original outfit back.

And then Mr X went totally ballistic (exploded would also be a quite accurate description).

He started shouting to me insane things like "you will not defy me" "I am the man in the house" and "do you think you're a bigger man than I am" (believe me, these are word for word translations from his original finnish rantings). He was being quite threatening and started advancing towards me, even after I put my hand up and said "please do not come any closer". That's when my friends jumped in and asked Mr X to back down, which he did, but only for a moment. Mr X was soon back up and running and picking a fight with anyone of my friends he could reach (thankfully he was so badly outnumbered that he didn't get physical). And Thankfully my friends are all such great, gentle and intelligent people that they didn't let themselves get provoked into fighting with him, although I could see that every one of them looked like they wanted to throttle him.

After a while, Mr X goes away and rummages around the apartment doing nothing and laying on the kitchen floor while we all sit stupefied in my room collectively thinking along the lines on "WTF!!!". I decide that first thing tomorrow, I'm moving out. And having witnessed the "outburst" of Mr X, everyone readily agrees.

As yet a little time passes and we still sit quietly in my room wandering what we shoul do next, the door cracks open a bit, and Mr X throws a phone at me and ask me to take the call. I answer the phone wondering what the hell is it this time and the is a policewoman on the line. So Mr X somehow has gotten to his head the idea, that there are UNINVITED people in our apartment and called the police (I guess in his world agreeing that I have a housewarming party nearly a month ago and inviting people three weeks ago and agreeing that some of my frinds who have come from different cities and, in one case, from abroad will stay the night does not count as inviting). So I talk to the police lady and she actually says on the end of our brief discusion that they are not going to send a patrol out lest me and my friends feel so threatened that they should come and pick Mr X up. I tell her that we outnumber Mr X 8 to one and I think he has calmed down sufficiently, but we will call if we feel threatened enough.

Well, a little time passes and Mr X comes through the door and takes a seat on the floor. And promptly starts crying. As he cries, he is saying "I'm not a bad man" and then starts mumbling about his lousy childhood. (Hey, my childhood wasn't especially rosy, but you don't see me with at the very least highly questionable moral code concerning other peoples personal property and fits of drunken rage). Then he goes on and on and no one dares to interrupt him lest he go into another fight-picking rage. Then he says that "he has found himself". When he reaches the point when he says "and then I discovered that I have legs that bend" I find myself with three options:

Option 1: I leave the room to cool off
Option 2: I attack him
Option 3: I burst into hysterical laughter because of the sheer absurdity of the situation and he attacks me

And since option 1 is the most (and only) rational (and sane) option, I grab two of my friends and head out for a smoke, because Mr X is in such a deep state of his insane drunken introspection that he doesn't seem to care who is listening, just as long there is at least one person listening. When we come back Mr X is just about going to bed and we sit in my room, still shocked. After we haven't heard from Mr X for a while, we assume that he is sleeping and three of my friends leave. The rest spend the night with me. We figured that he would leave us alone 'till morning, because we still outnumbered him 5 to 1.

In the morning we are eating breakfast and Mr X comes to the kitchen like nothing has happened and tries to bum some smokes. We tell him that we don't have any and after a while he goes away and we resume our breakfast. After eating we promptly start packing up my things and Mr X slips out of the apartment. After only two or three hours we have all out stuff packed and we leave to get the moving van from my dad. After we get back, Mr X is in the apartment, but doesn't say anything, just walks around looking lost. We haul or my stuff to my mom's in two trips, and the moving is done at 7pm.

And now I'm homeless, living with my mom temporarily, until I get a new place that I can call home.

I just have to thank any higher povers, if there are such things, that this happened when I was surrounded by friends (although it's sad that they had to witness something like this) and not by myself when this happened. I don't know what I would have done without them. And I never would have gotten out so quickly and peacefully I now did, if they hadn't been there to help me. I still have a lot of stuff to figure out, but at least I'm safe now and can sleep my nights in peace.