IRC-Galleria

It's dark.
I'm sitting in the corner.
But I have company.
My demons have surrounded me.
Teasing me with memories.
What I had is now gone.
Who I used to be is now just a memory.
Someone is sitting next to me.
It's me.
Reaching towards myself.
Whispering.

Fade away...
Fade away little flower.
Your sun is gone.
It has left you all alone,
with yourself.
Nobody wants you anymore.
Fade away...

And I believe every word.
Because they are true.
I can't lie to myself.
I shout my pain to darkness,
but nobody hears.
My heart is bleeding,
but nobody sees it.
I laugh to myself.
I despite myself.
I have become so fragile.
My life is so fragile.
I hear a voice.
It's mine.
Whispering.

Fade away...
Fade away little princess.
Your time has come.
There is nothing to you anymore.
Your part is over.
You are nothing.
Fade away...

I have lived too long,
seen too much.
I don't want to live anymore.
I don't want to see anything else.
Too much.
No more pain.
With the worst kind of company.
With myself.
Me and myself.
In corner of a dark room.
Someone is whispering to my ear.
It's me.
I want to fade away...

Pahoittelen surkeaa englantia.
Toivottavasti joku saa selvää.

I live so fast.
I live with passion, with my whole heart and soul.
Evere heartbeat is fast and full of emotions.
Seconds pass by.
I live every one of them.
I really live them.
Fully, completely.
It's hard.
To run through every moment.
With full speed.
And even if I wanted to, I can never stop
for my own will.
I must keep running.

But sometimes, life makes a wall in front of me.
I hit the wall and fall down.
And I see.
In those moments my soul reaches the sky
and leaves my body laying down to the ground.
In those moments time matters to me no more.
I can feel it passing me by.
But I don't care.
Those moments are hard.
But they give me relief.
I feel I understand so much.
The meaning of my life.
The reason why I run so fast.
It's fear.
Fear that my past reaches me.

I wish I could stay in those moments forever.
But it's time to get up and keep running.
I'm burning my candle from both ends, like
they say.
But it's the only way I can live.
Live fast and die even faster.
It's my blessing and my curse.
To live every moment with so much feelings.

Pahoittelen surkeaa englantia.
Toivottavasti joku saa selvää.

What do you see when you look at me??
You see a smile.
You see make-up.
You see pretty clothes.
But you never see the truth.
The true me.

Do you want to see the true me?
It's hiding.
Behind the smile.
Behind the make-up.
Behind the clothes.
Look.
Look deeper.
Ignore all those pretty lies,
and there, there it is.
True me.

Do you see the scars?
Can you feel my pain??
I'm there.
Behind the mask.
All alone.

Pahoittelen surkeaa englantia.
Toivottavasti joku saa selvää.

Do you know the greatest pain?
The Pain of all Pains?
Have you ever felt it?
Can you even imagine it?

Don't tell me you understand.
You don't.
Because you don't know.
Broke your heart, and then you'll know.
When the person, you trusted more than
nobody ever, with whom you shared your heart with,
walks away from you, then you'll know.

Can you now feel the Pain?
Does it now grow so huge, that it leaves your heart hollow?
Is it slowly eating you alive?
Now you know.
Now you can feel it.

People keep saying, that it will be ok,
and you'll get over it.
You laugh to them.
It will never be ok. You will never get over it.
They don't understand.
They haven't felt the Pain.
Someday they will.
They will see.
And then they'll understand.

You see, that person was a part of you.
A part of your flesh.
A part of your heart.
A part of your soul.
Your best friend.
Your soulmate.
How can you ever forget a half of you?
A half of your heart?
A half of your soul?
How can you ever get over that?

Once you were happy.
Once you were a whole person.
Once you had Him.
Side by side with you.
When He was happy, you were happy.
When He laughed, you laughed.
When He was sad, you were sad.
When He cried, you cried.
You felt His feelings, and He shared yours with you.
You feel that time was decades ago.

Now.
Now youre alone, and the pain is slowly, but for
so sure, eating your heart alive.
You can never be happy,
like the way you were with Him, again.
Now, smile is just a mask you use to
pretend to the others that it's ok.
But it isn't.
And it will never be.
Your heart is dying.
You can't bear the pain.

And slowly, all yor feelings fade away.
Except the Pain.
Oh yes, the Pain remains.
You can't feel empathy for others sorrow.
What is it compared to your Pain?
Nothing.
Soon nothing matters anymore.
You forget to eat and drink.
But it's nothing.
Life doesn't mean anything to you anymore.

So keep smiling, keep pretending it's
ok, and die slowly inside.
You can never have Him back.
He won't come back.
He won't never come back.
You're all alone, inside your mind, with the Pain.

For all those who can feel the Pain.

Pahoittelen surkeaa englantia.
Toivottavasti joku saa selvää.