IRC-Galleria

the news tell us every day of people who kill their spouses and children.. abandoned houses that have been burnt to the ground.. paedophiles who hunt innocent kids.. all in all: THE WORLD MAKES ME SICK!
I believe that life is what you make it to be.. by making choices you end up in some situation which you knew perfectly well beforehand (e.g. person A drinks and drives.. person B gets killed ..or.. you know that telling something to your friend will make them sad, so you have the choice to live with the consequences or decide that they can live without knowing the hurtful thing.. e.g. that their new hairdo or dress looks awful).

The reason why I write this is partly 'cos of the Kerava incident where the 18-year-old guy killed an 14-year-old girl. He did this because wanted to get into psychiatric treatment. He knew perfectly well what he was doing and what the repercussions were.. and he still took some innocent girl's life! For fuck's sake.. anxiety is not a valid reason to take anyone's life just so that you get into a psych ward.
One other reason, is that last night during my paper route I came across a burnt 'shed' (the place where garbage disposal cans are stored and to which the mailboxes are usually nailed). There was just steaming charcoal left and the mailboxes were all bent out of shape. It made me think if it had been an accident or an arsonist's 'masterpiece'. What makes people so f*cked up today?

The good or bad thing about working at night is that you have a lot of time to think about various stuff. Like last night I thought about who I would invite to my bachelor party. I came to the conclusion that I need to have bestMEN and bestWOMEN, 'cos there's no way in hell that I can decide who should be 'the one' for the job. There needs to be at least one from men (probably my oldest friend Timo) and one from women (probably Sanna) who cooperate with the participants. Because my friends are almost 50-50 men and women, there will need to be separate sauna turns etc. if nudity is an issue to someone.. Plus, one of the bizarre things will be that I think I'll invite my dad to join the party. He's always been a sort of a friend as well as a parent.. and.. we don't see each other too often.
I could do the same as my friends Rixu&Toni did .. Riika is my friend and Toni is her husband.. the male friends of Rixu went to Toni's bachelor party. My girl-friends could spend the night with the bride at her hen party. It's just that.. she'd need to be friends with them too and include them in the festivities. On the other hand, I'd like to spend time with the people who are close to me.. male or female. I don't know how common it is for ex-somethings to be part of one's life, but I've remained in good terms with them (all three of them).. and they could come to the party if they wanted to. I'd like to meet the girl who would openly accept ex-somethings to her hen party.. or who wouldn't be jealous if they came to the stag party. Her I would admire..

Jealousy leads me to another issue which has been keeping me awake lately.. Having just witnessed the marriage of the two people whose relationship has always been what I would call 'perfect' or 'meant-to-be', I've been thinking about what kind of relationship I would want. The perfect situation would be that we'd love each other, but we both could lead separate lives without jealousy and other negative emotions. Jealousy to me means that you don't trust the other person. In my present relationship, I'd like to think that I could accept if my girlfriend wanted to meet other people. There's a small age difference between us and I wouldn't want to restrict her life before the whole "let's get married and have children" period which we haven't even discussed yet 'cos it's not relevant to a couple that has been together for less than a year :) Considering that we're both pretty new to the whole dating scene, I think we'll just take it nice and slow.
Even though you can see 'Polyamory' in my communities it doesn't mean that I plan to have many girlfriends. I happen to love my girlfriend. I also would like to think that as long as you don't hurt people's feelings you're free to do whatever you want: spend time with people you love as well and have sex with them.. always remembering to practice safe sex. The things you learn from those dates you can apply in your stable relationship(s). I don't consider love to be a countable thing (in fact, it is not a count noun.. one love, two loves..n loves).. It comes down to simple logistics: you can't be in two places at once. That's why you should always treat people in the present tense. The time you spend with them should be the thing that describes what you have: friendship, love affair, random sex etc. I think that in the long run polyamory is a more realistic approach to love than monogamy. I've understood the idea so that you trust the person you're with so much that even if they want to see other people, it won't take away the fact that you two love each other and want to live together. Perhaps you have children or a mutual pet or something else that binds the two of you together.. or you just simply adore the other person too much to let your selfish desires to 'own' a person to come in the way of your relationship's well-being. I think it goes without saying that if you spend too much time together, you'll end up hating the other person. That's why I'd love for the person I'm with to have a life of their own. I can't stand clingy people who smother me and don't let me spend time with my friend's.

So to sum up: she'd need to have a good head on her shoulders, trust for me and us, mutual love and a life of her own.. (and yes this limits my options to women.. sorry, mates.. I love women with real tits and vaginas).

Umm.. there's probably something still missing, but I'll add it in later..

~O~