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The MS boss still hasn't sent me the money for November. I'm getting pissed off. It's 3e, but at least it covers the account fees, since i have no other money there. I'm wondering what I will do now.. I guess if the money is not there by tomorrow, I'll ask about it. What the hell is the problem about it?
The whole MS just pisses me off.

And I'm wondering why I tend to write about money here all the time.. Interesting how different blogs leadme to write about different things: on my home one I tend to write about the family and my plans, here I write about money and gigs and complain about MS.. On DA I actually ahven't written anything for ages, but since it's DA, it's always connected to art.. On the english blog I wrote about my feelings, but since I'm not putting them anywhere anymore, it's quite about to close up.

Huh, I know I still have 9 days left at home, but still it feels like I'm going back way too soon.. I don't like this Christmas hassle (and when it comes what I don't like, I totally hate people writing X-mas), I want it to be over.. And all the obligatory family visits etc. etc..

I seem to have some bad life period now. A few months ago whatever I touched, worked out. Now whatever I touch, breaks down. It actually seems that everything around me is breaking down, even without my help.. Rollercoaster life. When it comes to my personal feelings, it actually seems going back upwards. But there's still the chance that things around me are still not gonna accept that, but they should. At least I think that they should. But I will have to figure out after I get back to the work routine. And generally when everything gets back to it's routine, at this moment it's pointless to think about anything..

What pisses me off is that I've realise that some of my favourite songs have SUCH suitable lyrics, that I can barely listen to them any more.. Sometimes I don't like the way my mind faces stress. And sometimes I don't like how much time it takes her to make up her mind (talking about MS). Nah, when it comes to MS I suppose I will stay until May or so, so that I can give it another try about the interviews. As far as I can see now it's my only chance for a decent promotion.. I'd really wish for something better than just blogs this time.. :-(

I want summer. One like last one.

And I would REALLY like to know why the hell my e-mail to the hostel cannot be delivered. I have NO OTHER chance to book anything and I really don't wanna end up having nowhere to sleep. Damn.
Sometimes I hate organising things.. :-(

OK, one thing to be optimistic about- I LOVE my new haircut :-)

Right. I guess I should go to bed..

Yeeeeeeeeeeeess!! They're paying me even the week off, yay! "I think we will pay you the whole month, even though you're not here the one week, but it doesn't matter, because you do your job so well that you deserve it." :-) Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!! :-)
So, next two steps: to check my account if money for this week have arrived and then buy the strapshirt and CD x))

Edit: Yep yep, the account says +131,35e, which means strapshirt and CD AND credit as well. I love this family :D x))

I should write a lot for MS this month.. The reasons:
http://www.fanzone.fi/entwine/productinfo.cfm?tuotenumero=195758&lang=en and
http://www.fanzone.fi/entwine/productinfo.cfm?tuotenumero=199783&lang=en

I could actually afford them as my 'Christmas present' from the grandparents, but then there's no money left for phone credit.. I know I don't necessarily need 30e credit, but getting 30e plus another 30e extra for that.. That doesn't happen often.. I don't know.. Maybe I could ask for it as a Christmas present for mum.. Kind of vague as a present, but what can I do.. I know I wouldn't have to care about credit for a year, but still- give 30e at a time is just quite too much..
So far I should have 380kc from MS and for the strapshirt and CD I need.. Some 1300kc.. Hm. I could get 150 for the HIM report. And if the boss gets me the press pass (which I REALLY don't believe in), I'd be happy. OK, then only to find someone who would buy my ticket. Saving or not saving 37e makes a hell of a difference. I've already wasted 20e for a Lovex ticket because of one silly little girl, who promised me to buy it from me and on the gig day simply came to me and with a smile saying she'd got it herself already. And totally not understanding why I was pissed off.
Well, everything would be pretty much sorted out if the host family paid me also the week that I'm not with them (quite weird and I can't remember anything like that from the contract, but well, why not, right?), but I probably won't know until the money appear on my account. Or not.
..
Over the last two nights I slept surprisingly well. Or at least I can't remember any nightmares or waking up in the middle of the night. Just last night the mobile phone kept waking me up, the f*cking operator really has to count sent messages at three in the morning. :-/
..
And tomorrow home!! :-)

Hiiiiiii x)) I love my host-grandparents!! :D I just got a Christmas present- 40euros with "Buy what you like" x)) That will get me out of the financial shit for some time.. :D

The last night and day were hell. A serious one. But luckily it's alright. Not completely, I'm still worried to death, but I won't stand at the window any more, all shaking, with my mobile phone in my hand, shouting at it 'Ring, ring, RING!!' I cried all day long and Onni kept bringing me toys. Which paradoxely made me cry even more. A baby won't understand why I'm crying and that toys won't help me, but he shows me that he cares.. When he found some plush toys and teddy bears, he even showed me that I should cuddle them.. So nice.. It's amazing how babies can show their affection so easily and honestly..

Well, on the other hand, Saturday night was just amazing. It's so great to see that I've made someone happy.. :-)

Time to update..

16.1. White Flame- Kustaa
23.1. TAP- Kustaa
6.2. Entwine- Klubi
12.2. Lovex + White Flame + Emil Bulls- On The Rocks (Hki) -?
13.2. Renoise + Naughty Whisper + PSG- Vastavirtaklubi
15.2. Renoise + Heijaste + Monday- Klubi
20.2. Lovex- Amarillo (Hyvinkää) - ? (note: Play in Tampere!!)
28.2. Renoise + Apulanta- Tre-Talo
24.4. Entwine- Hotelli Iisoppi, Nokia

8.-11.7. Tammerfest, whatever there is

..still coming.. Considering it's something before half of December, it's quite a lot arranged allready. Only not for January, comparing January to February.. Hmm..
And another party at the first weekend of January, yay!! And a cruiseship in the spring and Provinssirock in June x))
And if the TWO 'projects' of mine work out in the spring, I'll be the happiest person ever :-)

And my T-shirt is finally here, yay! :-)

Hiiiiiiiiii, yes, that's what I was waiting for!!

6.2. Entwine, Klubi, Tampere

I have no idea why this made me even less into going to Backyard Babies the day after tomorrow.. Lea was free so we've planned to go out together, but at this point I'm only thinking if I should go to the gig or only go with her.. 22e is a lot of money and I'm not getting anything out of a review.. And it starts at 22:00, so we wouldn't meet before midnight anyway.. All the facts are telling me not to go, but for some reason I've still got this feeling that I would miss something if I go there.. Though I can't think of anything I could possibly really miss.. Hmm.. I guess I'll just arrive to her and go out right away, omit the gig.. Not 100% sure yet, but probably.. To save or not to save 22e makes a difference.

Yes, yes, yes, I'm getting money tomorrow, huiiiiiii! OK, I'm freaking out because of regular weekly pocket money, but still- I just can't wait to have SOMETHING again.
And the cinema tomorrow. I don't really think I'm getting much of the Finnish dubbing, but, well, let's see. the main point is Ville Valo's voice, anyway..
And I guess me going or not going to Klubi on Saturday will also depend on Lea's programme. If she wants to go out with me then, I will go. If not.. Well, I can't understand it.. I do want to see them, but there's something in me that says 'pointless.. pointless.. pointless..'
Renoise have a private show, so still no other programme so far.. Sh*t. And my T-shirt is still NOT here, grrrrrr..
It's actually come to my mind that I was in Tre four times last week, not three times. That's 40e for travelling ONLY, so no wonder I have nothing left of 65e..

Right.. I will just go to bed with my new addiction: http://www.hry.cz/free/pacmanadv :D

..and all the fans of the band Budulínek can kiss my ass. I really won't weep the geniality of lyrics about killing pigs with a chainsaw. If someone likes it, their problem. I don't. My problem. Full stop. Face it.

And everyone can kiss my a*s.

Bad day.

Wittu.

I'm seriously thinking about leaving out Backyard Babies this Saturday.. First, I don't have money, second, I totally don't feel like going there.. But again there's this feeling 'missing something'.. Well well.. I guess I will probably go if I don't find any decent second option. I do want to see them, but on the other hand I feel like there's no point for me of going there.. I don't know.. I'm definitely not staying at home, because that's the least acceptable thing to do. OK, let's see..

And no Manzana on Tuesday.. :-(