IRC-Galleria

It starts with normal scenery
Nothing wrong everything so clear
I wish I could say I was alright and really mean it

A glimpse of here and there

It's like unstable napalm
Glint of light turns to spark
I find myself in the hell fire again

Melting blades and fire

The steel cuts feel
Initiating the burn
From the heated blade

Unrecognized hidden trauma

I shatter to pieces
I scream for the pain
I fall crying for there's nothing to gain

Key to open the Pandora's box

The fear, the sorrow
The fury, the pain
Take me by surprise, their coming untold

So I fall disabled

I wish I could say I was alright and really mean it
Nothing wrong everything so clear
It starts with normal scenery

I attack myself without a reason
Can't see what causes this treason
I wish I could say I was alright and really mean it
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~ So I find myself singing the song of the sirens. So I could fall asleep under the steaming shower. Wishing it would cleanse all this. Burn my skin away. I never felt like I confessed my feelings. Letting the words out didn't help. Doing something would just turn the daggers in the wounds for both. Last words were "I'm okay now". So I force believe them, I keep my oath. I dare not challenge Destiny... ~

___________________________________________


"I wish that I could fly, way up in the sky, like a bird so high, oh I might just try"
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~ Primary set: Riki < Ten < Me < Automaton
Control set positive: 1. Riki 2. Me 3. Ten 4. Automaton
Reverse set depression: 1. Me 2. Ten 3. Riki 4. Automaton
Sealed set lockdown: 1. Automaton 2. Ten 3. Me 4. Riki
When you hide your problems no one suspects a thing. When you scream them out loud you're laughed at, you're alright. I'm starting to give up hope for finding the sorceress, mastermind who is to control all of them. ~

Bwaaaaaaaaaaa, taas kaupungilla oli toripäivä ja kauhee ryysis. Jossain Land Roveris oli vanhempaa bensa mallia... Kheee ku rauhotti ja tuoksu hyvälle.
Pystyn ignoraa kaiken mitä ympärillä liikkuu ja tapahtuu, mutta rupee särkee päätä. Helpompi vaa automaattisesti kattoo kaikki läpi. Maanantaina Lappeenrantaan joulupöytiä tyhjentämään, buahhaha.
(V) (;,,;) (V) < Today I learned to make Dr. Zoidberg


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~ I don't know what this feeling is. Anguished, waiting, nervous, like something is to happen. Can't concentrate, disabled. I have no reason for it yet it haunts me. I feel like throwing up. I feel accelerated. Yet so much lack in information. Can't breathe. Yet I'm not passing out. The hell is this. ~

Elämä saattais olla helpompaa ilman persoona jakaumaa. Ehkä...
Yks on kauheen varautunu, melkei äkäsen olone.
Toine on helvetin impulsiivinen, pirtee, nolo, mitä helvettiä mä oon tekemässä.
Kolmas sit taas vaan kauheen analyyttinen.
Ja neljäs on jokin automaatio jonka ajasta en muista mitään.

Apua? Hain jo. Ei auta. Vaikutan liian... normaalilta.
Skitso? Nope..

Onpahan lähes jokainen päivä jossain määrin erilainen, eahhaehaeh.

Entäpä jos kaks päätä katkeaa... Oonko sitten normaali?
Vai tunnenko itteni vajaaksi?
Sen näkee sitten tapauksessa JOS

Mutta kaikista paras ratkaisu on ehkä lopettaa turhien toiveiden herättely yhtään mistään, mihinkään suuntaan.
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~ When I used to pray, I prayed. And I received a guardian angel. When I stopped believing, I received a dragon's embrace. Third I felt like I couldn't go on, days passed by, with no memory of them. Automated, animated puppet... How can 1 L bottle hold 4 L... 4 souls homed in 1 vessel... Should've... Blown up...~

Unaware of your being
Unaware of your location

As I lay down under the steaming shower
Feeling home
While skin burning down
I wonder

Have my cries been heard
Have I already met you
Has destiny already twitched her fingers
Have you already found me

I wouldn't know
I wish I could bathe in lava
I wish I knew something

But I just wait
(for the queen)
And dream
(as the sorceress haunts me)

Looking for someone
Describing special

To fly wish I could
Chained to the ground I rather would

I refuse the initiative
Avoiding the approaching

The keys I can take
But only to bury them

A monkey shouldn't drive
As dog shouldn't wander off

I will not drive

I refuse to set the course

Only through suggestions
I wish to affect your decisions

I want to be the silent standing guard
Adviser from behind

Invisible bloodhound
The screaming shadow by your side

TÄNÄÄ ON SITTEN AAMU ALOTETTUKKI KUNNOLLA



Hyvä se on tälläsen kunnon kaapu aamutakin kaa tanssii peilin eessä. En tiedä, terveisin hetken mielijohde.
Iha ihme olo taas tänää. Onko tämä... Ahdistusta, vai jotain muuta... Outo tunne. MUTTA CARAMELLDANSEN

The visions I see
The moments I witness
I never asked to see

I made an oath
I gave my word
To stay out of their lives

Yet you say we'd encounter

As I wake up
Fingertips heated
My claws feel like burning
For I did imagine
Melting down the film

I made an oath
I gave my word
They'd be better off without me

Don't tease me
Don't give me all that
Because they certainly don't need me
(Not anymore)

All beautiful turned to hell back then
What makes the goddesses think it wouldn't now
"It's meant to be" I guess they'd say
"We know, for we already created the day"

Not even god-like being can control a human
Why could it control the beast
It would all turn to hell in moments again

I made an oath
I gave my word
They'd be better off without me

I'll keep on stopping the dreams (for I learned how)
I'll melt down the film (for I learned how)
I'll shatter the image of what would be (for I learned how)

Don't tease me
Don't give me all that
Because they certainly don't need me
(Not anymore)

I know myself and they all know half
Death and chaos follow to bring down the dam
I wish them good and I wish to stay away
SO LET THESE CLAWS BURN YOUR DAMN STAGE ALL THE WAY DOWN

Olipa taas turhauttava käynti työkkärissä... Sama lappu käytiin läpi. Varattiin tosin uus aika. Sama lappu käytii läpi. "Tää Lahti on kyllä valitettavasti pimeetä aluetta vähän aina ollu tän työllistymisen suhteen."

*SIGH*

Turhauttaa, masentaa, turhauttaa. Mainitsinko jo, että turhauttavaa?

No jaa, viel sossu aika 17 päivä... Sitten joulua viettämään kotikonnuille, yaaaay.

IN my humble response




WELCOME TO HELL *clap clap* WELCOME

The idea of life actually being the so said eternal flame of purification, doesn't seem so impossible. Well according to how my life has passed, stories of my father's and mom's. But anyway. The sentence above just makes me think life as straightforward hell and the void as the ultimate prize.