-The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11 months old.
-There are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated: breast implants
-Come on Ted, this is an incredible opportunity, we'll meet our soulmates, nail'em and never call 'em again.
-I'm tired of the whole bar scene, the one-night hookups, I'm looking for a soulmate, someone who I can love and cuddle... or so it says in my profile.
-Sorry, buddy, wish I could help you, but my hands are tied. Oh, no, wait. That was last night