IRC-Galleria

-I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
-I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.
-"More fun than a barrel of monkeys." Has anyone ever stopped to think how cranky, if not downright vicious, a barrelful of monkeys would be, especially once released from the barrel?
-No matter how cynical I get I just canÂ’t keep up.
-Never play poker with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.
-If you lend someone 20€, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
-Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental
-I had to hit him : he was starting to make sense.
-This could be entertaining, meaning embarrassing.
-You ever look up the word dictionary in a dictionary? A little hand comes out and smacks you one.
-I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
-If you are completely buried in an avalanche, dig a small hole around you and spit in it. The saliva will fall down, giving you an idea of which direction is up. Dig up.
-"Ed, I see you're out drinking again. What's the occasion?"
"I was sober."
-You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
-After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'
-There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
-I'm a Leo. Leos don't believe in this astrology stuff.
-"We've done a terrible thing."
"Yes, if only there was some magical liquid that could erase bad memories..."
-Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
-It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails. With a hunting knife. And he ran into me. Backwards. Fourteen times.
-Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I...
-I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
-If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
-It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye, then it becomes a scavenger hunt.
-You need no longer worry about the future. This time tomorrow you'll be dead.
-You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.
-You will be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.

-Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired
-If someone is too tired to give you a smile, leave one of your own, because no one needs a smile as much as those who have none to give
-I wish I had an answer to that, because I'm tired of answering that question
-Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.
-Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
-Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.
-God help me. I'm so tired. I need my sleep. I make no bones about it. I need eight hours a day, and at least ten at night...
-These days you must be feeling tired and your legs must be paining...Dont worry,...Its only because you´ve running in my mind day and night!

-Eivätkö "hyvät asiat jotka tulevat niille, jotka jaksavat odottaa" ole vain jämiä niiltä, jotka saivat omansa ensin?
-Jos maksat lomamatkasi ja lentokone putoaa, saatko rahasi takaisin? (Selvittyäsi hengissä)
-Kuka oli ensimmäinen ihminen, joka ajatteli lehmää katsoessaan: "Puristanpa näitä roikkuvia juttuja ja juon sen mikä sieltä tulee."?
-Miksei käsikarvoihin tule kaksihaaraisia?
-Oletteko huomanneet, että vaihtaessasi "mother in law" (anoppi) kirjainten paikkaa, saat aikaan "woman Hitler"?

-I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and I was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realised why: they're crouching and hidden.
-You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.
-If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
-My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ!
-Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much
-God Said: "Let there be light." devil said "say please"
-For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. ThatÂ’s what happens to cheese when you leave it out.
-It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there.

-The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-The free-lance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.
-I work until beer oÂ’clock.
-They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.
-Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.

- Anoppini on maailman rumin ihminen, Erkka ylisti. Muut olivat
epäileviä ja sanoivat:
- Etköhän hieman liioittele.
Erkka vastasi:
- Kyllä poijat se paikkansa pitää. Kun anoppi oli viime kesänä
pellolla mansikoita keräämässä, rastaat toivat takaisin nekin
mansikat, jotka olivat toissa kesänä varastaneet.

- Piditkö siitä kirjasta, jonka lainasin sinulle?
- En kovin paljon. Mutta se kirje, jota olit käyttänyt kirjanmerkkinä,
oli paljon mielenkiintoisempi.

Kylän pahasuinen juoruakka oli suututtanut isännän niin, että tämä
lopulta antoi akalle oikein isännän kädestä. Käräjillehän siinä
mentiin. Juttu käsiteltiin, ja tuomari vetäytyi lautamiesten kanssa
miettimään päätöstä.
- Mitäs tästä nyt isännälle annettaisiin? tuomari kyseli.
- Minä ainakin panen pottiin sata euroa, lautamiesten vanhin ilmoitti.

- Sinä se jaksat kehua sitä kesämökkiäsi. Kai siinä jotakin vikaakin
on?
- Niin onkin. Järvessä on niin kirotun paljon kaloja, että niitä
täytyy hätistellä tieltä, jos haluaa ämpärillisen vettä saunaan.

Jos en sua vierelleni saa
sua ajattelen päivin öin
Ja vaikket siinä olekaan
oot mielessäni päivin öin

Nyt on pakko unhoittaa
en muuten unta saa
ja huominen on vaikeaa
Mutta sydän ei rauhaa saa
kuvas sun saa mun valvomaan

Jos narri ehkä olenkin
kun sinua näin ikävöin
Ja vaikka mitä tekisin
oot mielessäni päivin öin

Enemmän sua kaipasin
mä tänään kuitenkin
kun eilen vielä uskoinkaan
Ja paljon enemmän
mä aina ikävöin
sua päivin öin
(2x)

En unta saa
valvon vaan
Oot mielessäin
taas päivin öin

-We always ignore the ones who adore us, and adore the ones who ignore us
-Breaking up is just like having the worst nightmare after having the best dream
-The times we were happy together are worth the times I cry alone
-You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it
-Its hard to pretend you love someone when you don't but its harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do
-People think it's holding on that makes you stronger, but sometimes it's letting go

-Never take a blind date to a silent film
-Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use
-Don't smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much or work too much. We're all on the road to the grave -- but there's no need to be in the passing lane
-Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability
-Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings.
-Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.
-Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no sometimes.
-Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.
-You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget, and it's good for them to get reminded

-Nainen kysyy mieheltään:
- Miksi sinä oikeastaan rakastuit minuun?
- Koska minulla oli silloin hirveä nuha.
- Tomppeli! Miten se nuha muka asiaan vaikutti?
- Kyllähän sinä sen tiedät, kulta.
Silloin ei ihmisellä ole lainkaan makua

-Pieni neekeripoika kuoli ja pääsi taivaaseen.
Jumala antoi sille siivet selkään!
Poika kysyi onnellisena, olenko nyt enkeli?
Jumala vastasi: Et, olet lepakko.

- Sinäkö olet niin fantastisen rohkea?
- Pelkäänpä niin.