-Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?
-It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
-Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!
-The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong
-If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door
-The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement. Of course He could have made it to last longer, but you can't have everything
-When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.