-Everyone keeps telling me the right girl will come around, but I think mine got hit by a bus.
-I told my dad I stopped raising hell and he called me a quitter!
-I was playing poker the other night with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people dead
-"Are we insane yet?" "Are we insane yet?" How many times do I have to tell you YES!
-People think I'm crazy, but actually I'm just bored.