IRC-Galleria

-It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
-Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.
-I find I always have to write something on a steamed mirror.
-People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
-It's annoying to be disapproved of by people who know only half the story - especially when you're not sure which half they know.

-Jonakin päivänä laivani saapuu, ja minun onnellani olen varmasti lentokentällä.
-Mielipiteeni on selvä - älä sekoita minua tosiasioilla
-Onko maapallolla älyllistä elämää? - Ei, olen vain käymässä.
-Kuvittele, olet hullu, eikä kukaan huomaa sitä.
-Tympiminen kyllästyttää, taidan siirtyä itsesääliin
-Kokemattomuus saa nuoren miehen tekemään sen mitä vanhempi mies väittää mahdottomaksi.
-Usein sitä keksii sellaista, minkä naiset ovat jo kauan sitten tienneet
-Nainen tietää, että mies on rakastunut häneen ennen kuin mies edes aavistaa sitä
-Rakkaus ilman vastarakkautta on kuin tärkeä kysymys ilman vastausta

Lentokone nousi ilmaan, mutta palasi saman tien takaisin kentälle.
- Mikä hätänä? tiedustelivat matkustajat.
- Lentäjän mielestä moottorista kuului epäilyttäviä ääniä. Mutta ei hätää,
saamme tuota pikaa uuden lentäjän.

Kääritkö itse savukkeesi?
- Kyllä. Lääkäri on määrännyt liikuntaa.

- Miten tunnistaa ruotsalaisen helikopterin?
- Siinä on heittoistuin.

Mistä tiedät, milloin on aika pestä astiat ja siivota talo/huone ?
Katso housuihisi. Jos siellä on penis, niin vielä ei ole aika.

- Katso, tuolla on poliisikoira.
- Ei se kyllä siltä näytä.
- Se onkin salapoliisikoira.

Mitkä seuraavista ovat suomen kuntia:
A) isä, pani, lehmiä
B) setä, nussi, nautoja
C) eno, veteli, karjaa

-The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
-Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it.
-People who care about each other enjoy doing things for one another. They don't consider it servitude.

-I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
-The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
-To err is human. To forgive is unusual.
-A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory
-All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt
-Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
-I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
-I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well

-Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
-It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"
-I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

-Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
-Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom.
-Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
-If you can't fix it with duck tape you have'nt used enough.
-Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
-Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

-Everyone keeps telling me the right girl will come around, but I think mine got hit by a bus.
-I told my dad I stopped raising hell and he called me a quitter!
-I was playing poker the other night with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people dead
-"Are we insane yet?" "Are we insane yet?" How many times do I have to tell you YES!
-People think I'm crazy, but actually I'm just bored.

-Never long for anyone from the past. There is a reason why they never made it to your future.
-We'll do what we gotta do, see what we gotta see, and if in the end we end up together, then we'll know it was meant to be.
-I want to be with you tonight, tomorrow, and today it can't happen now but it will someday.
-The few hours I spent with you are worth the thousand hours I spend without you
-Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people. But you never forget them. And sometimes, it's those memories that give us the strength to go on.
-Love is not who you can see yourself with. It is who you can't see yourself without.
-I believe that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

-Once you have loved someone, you'd do anything in the world for them... except love them again.
-I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
-It does not matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you do not do it in the street and frighten the horses
-There are three kinds of men who do not understand women: Young, old, and middle-aged.
-My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there
-I see your face when I'm dreaming... That's why I always wake up skreaming...
-Sex without love is an empty experience,but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
-The bravest thing that men do is love women.
-To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
-Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.
-Women are like ovens: it takes time for them to get warmed up.
Men, on the other hand, are like microwaves: you push one button,
and they're ready to go!