IRC-Galleria

IÂ’m a modern man, a man for the millennium.

Digital and smoke free.
A diversified multi-cultural,
post-modern deconstruction
that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect.

IÂ’ve been up linked and downloaded,
IÂ’ve been inputted and outsourced,
I know the upside of downsizing,
I know the downside of upgrading.

IÂ’m a high-tech low-life.
A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker
and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!

IÂ’m new wave, but IÂ’m old school
and my inner child is outward bound.
IÂ’m a hot-wired, heat seeking,
warm-hearted cool customer,
voice activated and bio-degradable.

I interface with my database,
my database is in cyberspace,
so IÂ’m interactive, IÂ’m hyperactive
and from time to time IÂ’m radioactive.

Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve,
riding the wave, dodging the bullet
and pushing the envelope.

IÂ’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs.
IÂ’ve got no need for coke and speed.
I've got no urge to binge and purge.

IÂ’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge,
over-the-top and under-the-radar.

A high-concept, low-profile,
medium-range ballistic missionary.

A street-wise smart bomb.
A top-gun bottom feeder.
I wear power ties, I tell power lies,
I take power naps and run victory laps.
IÂ’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk,
rainmaker with a pro-active outreach.

A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic.
Out of rehab and in denial!

IÂ’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper,
a personal assistant and a personal agenda.

You canÂ’t shut me up. You canÂ’t dumb me down
because IÂ’m tireless and IÂ’m wireless,
IÂ’m an alpha male on beta-blockers.

IÂ’m a non-believer and an over-achiever,
laid-back but fashion-forward.
Up-front, down-home,
low-rent, high-maintenance.

Super-sized, long-lasting,
high-definition, fast-acting,
oven-ready and built-to-last!

IÂ’m a hands-on, foot-loose,
knee-jerk head case
pretty maturely post-traumatic

and IÂ’ve got a love-child that sends me hate mail.

But, IÂ’m feeling, IÂ’m caring,
IÂ’m healing, IÂ’m sharing
-- a supportive, bonding,
nurturing primary care-giver.

My output is down,
but my income is up.

I took a short position on the long bond
and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow.

I read junk mail, I eat junk food,
I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports!
IÂ’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex. I like tough love.
I use the “F” word in my emails
and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore
--no soft porn.

I bought a microwave at a mini-mall;
I bought a mini-van at a mega-store.
I eat fast-food
in the slow lane.

I'm toll-free, bite-sized,
ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes.

A fully-equipped, factory-authorized,
hospital-tested, clinically-proven,
scientifically- formulated
medical miracle.

IÂ’ve been pre-wash, pre-cooked,
pre-heated, pre-screened,
pre-approved, pre-packaged,
post-dated, freeze-dried,
double-wrapped, vacuum-packed
and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

IÂ’m a rude dude, but IÂ’m the real deal.
Lean and mean!

Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock.
Rough, tough and hard to bluff.

I take it slow, I go with the flow,
I ride with the tide. IÂ’ve got glide in my stride.

Driving and moving, sailing and spinning,
jiving and grooving, wailing and winning.

I donÂ’t snooze, so I donÂ’t lose.
I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road.

I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time.

IÂ’m hanging in,
there ainÂ’t no doubt
and IÂ’m hanging tough,
over and out!

- George Carlin

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