IRC-Galleria

It was fascinating thus I've never felt like that before, I was half full of joy and hope yet half of me cried. I felt so lonely, so lovesick, so sad. And other half felt at ease, smiling, happy for my cat came to slap me in the face because it wanted attention.

Feeling those 2 sides at the same time. I felt enlightened. It sounds bad, but it was kinda 1st night I felt at ease in my heart.


I don't know whether this had anything to do with my dreams since I sometimes see glimpses of the future. Then when I live through those certain moments I feel like getting kicked to the head. This time I fell on the ground and felt I couldn't rise. It's like having signal lost on TV, all black and white fuzz. Usually these dreams are hectic when there's something important to happen. Worst thing is. Usually it's just that I have to wait... Rarely I see the decisive points. I wonder if I'll see my death like that when my time is about to end. Seems like not yet for a long time.

Olin vain satunnaisesti selailemassa ja... No... Se sattui... :<

Nyt tiedän ministi miltä Frodosta tuntui Sormusten Herrassa.

Kävelin 3 km ees taas vain hakeakseni paperin joka pitikin sitten tulla kotiin täyttämään kun ei ollut kaikkea tarvittavaa infoa matkassa.

Frodollahan tämä ketutus on huomattavasti enemmän FFFF***** luokkaa koska hänen piti puoli maailmaa taivaltaa heittääkseen yhden ***** sormuksen johonkin tiettyyn ******** tulivuoreen.

I don't know wether I'm anxious or fearful for the day death will snap it's fingers on me.
I believe the thing itself exists and can be challenged as final when you die. Yet one can't say it is true, but when my time comes. I will challenge it... Prize unknown, but if I am to choose, I am to never be reborn again. I am to be sent in to perfect void and darkness. Where nothing will disturb me.

I see the clock in digits of three. Some say it means someone is thinking of you, some say every time from 111 222 333 .... 555 ... 1212 means a different thing. But I believe when you've seen 2 full circles. Day and night. It means time's up.
I feel curious. I feel anxious. I feel fear. I feel joy. I feel sadness. Most of all. It is the ultimate being I can prove myself to. If I'm to lose I'm to serve. If I'm to raise victorious, I'm to declare myself immortal.

I'm about to short ciruit
My heart feels like it's being ripped apart
Over and over again I scream
Break out
It's not over
Run through the endless night

Hot blood runs through my body
In the final instant when it all rots away
It's all over
Vacant fragments of dreams float up

I can never go back again
I can't remember anything
The more I struggle, the further I fall
My voice doesn't reach
I can't control this impulse

Give me your XTC
Make me feel it again
My body's getting hot
I scream your name in the dark
Give me your XTC
I don't want a false love
I'll accept the crime and punishment
Cut through the contrived fate, my blade

In the instant I unlaced my fingers
Hell or heaven?
My thought processes shut down
The threads connecting the scattered world
Seem like they're about to break

I turn my back on this ugly form in the mirror
Smashing my reason to bits
My flesh and soul won't return
Lost my soul

A traitor locked up
A tame mechanism
Destroy, overthrow
Burn it all down
I can't control this power

Give me your XTC
A feast of despair and desire
I hold my breath in order to live
And swim through the blood-tinged dark
Give me your XTC
Fall forever
Where instinct leads
Cut through my drifting soul, my blade

You struggle, crying
An angel who's lost their wings
No hope, no light
What are you thinking of now
At the ends of the earth?

Give me your XTC
Make me feel it again
My body's getting hot
I scream your name in the dark
Give me your XTC
I don't want a false love
I'll accept the crime and punishment
Cut through the contrived fate, my blade

Give me your XTC
A feast of despair and desire
I hold my breath in order to live
And swim through the blood-tinged dark
Give me your XTC
Fall forever
Where instinct leads
Cut through my drifting soul, my blade

Sirenia:

Fallen Angel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzsG2GPSnhs&feature=related

I've always felt so cold inside
Clinging on to life
I've always felt at one with the night
Fading deep inside

Winter winds are blowing through my life
Deep inside I know that I can run but I can't hide

Fallen angel at my side
Take me by the hand
And lead me far into the night
Far away from this life

I've always felt so drawn to the sea
So deep and wild and free
I've always lived my life through my dreams
To deny life's misery

Winter winds are blowing through my life
Deep inside I know that I can run but I can't hide

Fallen angel at my side
Take me by the hand
And lead me far into the night
Far away from this life

[Solo]

Fallen angel at my side
Take me by the hand
And lead me far into the night
Far away from this life

Fallen angel at my side
Take me by the hand
And lead me far into the night
Far away from this life



Save Me Now
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=BwdtfuKkN3E

Save me now
before my world falls
Save me now
from myself
before the dawn

Save me now
I'm at the reaper's door
Can't you see
you hold the key
to set my mind free...

____________________________________________________________

Poets Of The Fall:

Dreaming Wide Awake

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zC49_BA-eSM

Too late, the melody is over
The joke seems to be on me cos I'm the one not laughing
Down here on the floor

Deflate, the mystery of living
In the most heartless fashion I could ever Imagine
No pretense of decor

Another place and time, without a great divide
And we could be flying deadly high
I'll sell my soul to dream you wide awake

Another place and time, without a warning sign
And we could be dying angel style
I'll sell my soul to dream you wide awake

I'll dream you... wide awake

With me, disaster finds a playfield
Love seems to draw dark, twisted pleasure tearing at me
Cos I can't let you go

Mercy, like water in a desert
Shine through my memory like jewelry in the sun
Where are you now

Another place and time...

I'll dream you... wide awake

It's like I'm racing to the sun, blindly face the blazing gun
Cos I'm afraid I will be left here without you
Like I'm racing not to run, give more when I have none
Cos I'm afraid I will be left here without you... wide awake

Another place and time...

I'll dream you... wide awake.


Psychosis
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Qay6bjQm48

Well it's a different man in your face
And so out of place
That you can see anything there that you wish
Kiss my bliss
It's like I'm a welcoming freakshow doormat
Held in awe while growing fat in the head
This is where we all should see red
A big fat wet slab of red

And I see that it makes me anti everything
And I see that it makes me want to shed my skin, shed my skin

Revelation leading to my psychosis and inspiration
Digest another hallucination, psychosis by recreation
Happy till the next deterioration, psychosis

For you it's a different notion of music and motion
A dance of lights, a prosaic ocean
A delicate, nearly transparent creation of somebody's soul on the screen
Has caught you in between
Of somebody's life on the stage and somebody's life on the frontpage
And this is where we all should see red
A big fat laughing mouth of red

And I see that it makes me anti everything
And I see that it makes me want to shed my skin, shed my skin

I think I'm gonna start my own religion
Seems to be the recipe for a new sensation
Think it's gonna make a trendy revolution
Quite the contribution to the unnatural selection


No End, No Beginning
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95ybByx7KNU

We can't seem to let go
The thread's so thin it just doesn't show anymore
It seems like we're playing charades
Playing like we're afraid to live

And this is one sacrifice I don't want to make

If there's no end
There can be no beginning, there can be no beginning
If there's no end
It feels like forsaking the dawn, we awaken and still we don't see
I am still secretly grateful you're living this moment with me

We can see where it leads
It's like you can't, can't kill the monster that feeds on you
No matter what you do it seems to get you every time

And that's a predicament if I know anything

If there's no end
There can be no beginning, there can be no beginning
If there's no end
It feels like forsaking the dawn, we awaken and still we don't see
I'm still secretly grateful you're living this moment with me
Secretly grateful you're sharing this moment with me

If it's just one life we're given, one time you're living

I feel your touch light up a wild desire
Borne on my ache to take us ever higher
In our love we are birds of prey
Every cry serves to lead astray

So carry my ache and you will know the feeling
Inside I am weak but for this love I'm bearing
So breathe your life in my shades of grey
Or kill the lights and we'll fade away


War
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CxpnbmKWzU

Do you remember standing on a broken field
White crippled wings beating the sky
The harbingers of war with their nature revealed
And our chances flowing by

If I can let the memory heal
I will remember you with me on that field

When I thought that I fought this war alone
You were there by my side on the frontline
When I thought that I fought without a cause
You gave me a reason to try

Turn the page I need to see something new
For now my innocence is torn
We cannot linger on this stunted view
Like rabid dogs of war

I will let the memory heal
I will remember you with me on that field

When I thought that I fought this war alone
You were there by my side on the frontline
And we fought to believe the impossible
When I thought that I fought this war alone
We were one with our destinies entwined
When I thought that I fought without a cause
You gave me the reason why

With no-one wearing their real face
It's a whiteout of emotion
And I've only got my brittle bones to break the fall

When the love in letters fade
It's like moving in slow motion
And we're already too late if we arrive at all

And then we're caught up in the arms race
An involuntary addiction
And we're shedding every value our mothers taught

So will you please show me your real face
Draw the line in the horizon
Cos I only need your name to call the reasons why I fought

When I thought that I fought this war alone...


Diamonds for Tears
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9Rl8WMqejc

Why in these days of manmade wonders we still bicker over flies
When you come seeking for forgiveness, I'll be forced to choose my side

If I deny you what you're searching, do I do it out of fear
Am I ruling out my reason, killing that which I hold dear

Out of my way I'm coming, with an excuse just underway
Reality's so daunting, and I've got no way to explain

Cos when you're sound asleep next to me, I know you're the one
So when I hear you calling my name, why do I turn away to run
I guess that's why it's raining diamonds, sweet happiness in tears
Crying heaven shed your diamonds, diamonds for tears

In the light of recent findings, there's no greater taint than grace
But to relinquish all our bindings, always finds us out of place

If I rested here a while more, would you hold me to your heart
Will I know what it's meant for, will I know to play my part

Out of my way I'm coming, another excuse before I'll stay
Reality's applauding, I know I don't know the right way

Cos when you're sound asleep next to me, I know you're the one
So when I hear you calling my name, Yeah, I know you're the one
I guess that's why it's raining diamonds, sweet happiness in tears
Crying heaven shed your diamonds, diamonds for tears

Is it a lost cause,
Can we overlook this taint
Are these the dead laws
Like a doubt eating the saint

And though I fear these shackles, like my darkness closing in
I will hold out my hands, I will hold out my hands

Cos when you're sound asleep next to me, I know you're the one
So when I hear you calling my name, I'll know the good I've done
I guess that's why it's raining diamonds, sweet happiness in tears
Crying heaven shed your diamonds, diamonds for tears


Revolution Roulette
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWKO5cq-HvI

More
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0dmc1vywgY

Clevermind
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YLf5vlXTbA

I send my mind loafing around, I want to reach for the stars of my dreams. And again I burned my fingers while doing so.

This time, I was making spaghetti and that spaghetti was the messenger.

This is why I usually want to secure the feelings, the thoughts, everything around me. So I don't have to reach for the stars just to burn my fingers.

Perkeleen 0,75 L riisijuoma kun pääsen kotiin, avaan tetra pakkauksesi ja hörppäisen. Olen näin jo 2 kolmas osaa sinusta juonut.

Keijun pitää ruveta tekee isompia säästö pakkauksia... -.-'

When will I return to nothing. I'm so eager to get into the void, darkness. Where there is nothing. Place where not even myself would exist. Yet I would recognize that I am there. I would be happy. To sleep a century or 2.

If I've shown few people the way out of the darkness. I don't know how many I'm supposed to help. But even 1:2 is more than enough already, in my head. That I would've already earned my place in that void.

I wish to just sleep, but something awakens me. Someone always awakens me. I cry now for I'm pushing forward because of not myself. I'm pushing forward without any energy. I'm already burnt out, but I'm still going forward.

One can't tell what my reason to exist is anymore. Now that I have none in my own opinion. Why there is no void. Why am I still here. Am I just supposed to wait.. ... ... ..?

If I am to wait. I would atleast just want to sleep during the meantime. Only to awake when I'm really needed. Then sleep again. Oh the joy if I'm granted this void...